Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Human Condition Today
Homeless Dexter Ford was caught entwined in the sex act near a ramp to Interstate 71 in Cincinnati, but since the evidence indicates that the woman was asleep the whole time, "consent" seems to be missing—but wait, says Ford’s attorney; the woman’s a diagnosed sleepwalker and could have given consent "while asleep"! . . . . . A 79-yr-old nun in Milwaukee pleaded no contest to an active Catholic school sex life in the 1960s with two of her students (who, now in their 50s, appear still totally devastated by the "abuse" they endured) . . . . . An F State man, kicked out by his girlfriend, tried to squeeze part-way through the cat door to let himself back in but was found stuck, and dead . . . . . Valentine, Neb. (near Lincoln), had been terrorized from May until October by someone lubing up with Vaseline and leaving what were somehow identified as butt prints on doors and windows, but he’s been inactive for several weeks now (Bonus: Cops say there could also be a copycat) . . . . . A panel of marginally solid citizens called yesterday for the U.S. gov’t to open its UFO files (and we can’t automatically count on our next president, Dennis Kucinich, to open them, even though he said he’s seen one, because Jimmy Carter didn’t do that after his own UFO sighting) (But what about that mysterious blue cloud in Parma, Ohio, on Sunday?) [Ed.: But wait, no local Ohio media reported that story, according to Yahoo and Google] . . . . . Recurring Theme: Yet another Hindu man in India got in some kind of trouble and was advised to make it go away by marrying a dog, which he did.

District of Calamity (cont’d): It turns out that, according to the FBI affidavit for the arrest warrants on the bogus tax-refund scam [NOTW Daily, 11-8-2007], the schemers were also incredibly stupid, i.e., after the initial alert (by an employee of a Sun Bank branch operating out of a supermarket!), investigators immediately saw the bogosity. That means the internal management of the District of Calamity gov’t was even more ridiculously lax than you would assume. The bogus property tax refund checks were in the hundreds of thousands of dollars . . to small "companies" that should have aroused suspicion on first glance. (Bonus: The District's previously-well-regarded Chief Financial Officer: "The most sophisticated audits won't be able to find this kind of corruption.")

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™

NOTW, The Blog
Civilization in Even Faster Decline: NOTW Senior Editor, Prof. Paul Music, has been selected as a "Nielsen family," even though his media consumption is in about the third Standard Deviation from the U.S. norm (and his other characteristics are in about the fourth or fifth).

Newsrangers: Sam Manian, Mark Neunder.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.