Thursday, November 15, 2007

Thursday’s 5-Star Special
Can’t Possibly Be True: (1) Lucky you’ve only got Chinese toys with lead because one of their domestic-consumption products is super-cheap hairbands made from recycled used condoms, but even worse than that, (2) a New York physician was found to have used the very same needle-syringe, er, all the time, from 2000 to 2005, with at least two cases of hep-C so far (much testing still being done), and almost worse than that, (3) the state licensing authority told the doc, Bad doctor, Cut that out because if you re-use needles again, you’re gonna be in trouble, and we’re going to check on you "periodically" so don’t try anything with us!

Civilization in Decline
In Vancouver, at least, an epidemic of smugness among mothers not just demanding cloth diapers for their urchins, but designer cloth diapers, at prices of $80 to $300 per (and that’s Canadian dollars, not cheap U.S. dollars) . . . . . A U.S. Santa Claus-recruiting firm operating in Australia allegedly put out word that "ha ha ha" should be used instead of "ho ho ho," lest little girls think Santa is dissing them . . . . . A British woman was convicted of filing her 8th false rape-accusation in five yrs (let go with warnings before) and was finally sent to ja—oops, no, the judge let her go again . . . . . Apparently, no one in Brisbane wants to work behind the counter at the Qantas terminal, as it is chronically understaffed, and when two clerks left their positions to attend to a dying woman in line, many of the 1,000 queued up started booing.

The Human Condition Today
South Korea’s version of feng shui (with emphasis on the good fortune flowing from the proper arrangement of burial plots) is popular also among politicians, which is causing a frantic relocation of their relatives’ bodies this election season . . . . . A brave Chinese doctoral student filed a lawsuit against the country’s film censors for removing the sex scenes from Ang Lee’s latest . . . . . Toad-licking is back, at least in Kansas City, said a local "animal expert" . . . . . Impatience: (1) A kid was shot dead in San Francisco for standing still, instead of walking on, a down escalator, but (2) a Chicago letter carrier survived a gunshot in the leg that was probably occasioned by his late (6 p.m.) delivery route due to the Veterans’ Day backlog . . . . . An F State shoplifter was arrested for two containers of hair spray (whose sprayers had been removed, the contents drunk, and the containers returned to the shelf) (And he had $15 on him, enough for some real booze, but he said he was shopping at that Wal-Mart, and when he spotted the hair spray, "The temptation was too great") . . . . . An elementary school librarian in Saskatchewan banned an award-winning children’s book because one character had been described as having "generous bazoongas" [which is Canadian for "gazongas"] . . . . . Today’s Fatuosity, courtesy of a University of New Mexico student complaining that federal budget cutbacks would make birth control stuff more expensive at the student health center: "[Students shouldn’t] have to make a choice between their birth control and their cell phone bill or their birth control and their gym membership."

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Update: Mr. Akinwale Arobieke, who was convicted last year and ordered to stop going around on the street feeling up men’s muscles [Seriously] [NOTW 983, 12-10-2006], just couldn’t stay on the wagon.

Good Enough for Gov’t Work
GAO issued another report dogging Transportation Security Agency equipment, this time, and not agents, after inspectors had more trouble getting shampoo through than IED ingredients . . . . . A 37-yr-old Lebanese woman pleaded guilty in Detroit to charges in connection with (said the U.S. Attorney) defrauding ever-alert U.S. Immigration and then later defrauding the ever-alert FBI and the ever-alert CIA, where, as an agent, she accessed classified information about her brother-in-law, a Hezbollah guy (There’s no evidence that nat’l security was compromised, but again, the investigators who concluded that were from the ever-alert FBI and the ever-alert CIA).

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™

Newsrangers: Peter Timmins, Steve Miller, Bob Pert, Steve Dunn, Brian Love, Ginger Katz, Sam Varshavchik
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.