Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Civilization in Decline
One of the Things You Don’t Want to Be: an albino in Tanzania, ‘cause they’re cursed, of course . . . . . A former student punked a notorious school for special-ed kids by a prank phone call, which was taken seriously by school personnel, who then dutifully administered 106 electrical shocks to two current students (each 2 seconds long, but still . .) . . . . . A children’s DVD on sale in England’s rabble-rousing West Yorkshire county included one music video of a Muslim mommy carefully packing up her dynamite, off to blow herself up . . . . . Japanese Taunt Greens: While greens are fuming over Japanese fishermen’s slaughter of humpback whales, an aquarium on Yokahama Island oozed love by dressing up its visitor-friendly belugas with Santa caps . . . . . It could only happen in Philadel—wait, it was Rio de Janeiro: A helicopter taking Santa to a party got shot at (well, a drug gang might have thought it was police) . . . . . A kid associated with some of the July 21, 2005, London bombers is on trial now, claiming that, no, that wasn’t terrorist training he was doing out in the woods in Scotland, but just he and his buds out looking for the Loch Ness monster.

The Human Condition Today
Masaru Hori, 100, is a terrible driver, apparently banging into things all the time, but he won’t give it up, since "driving helps me from going senile because it keeps me alert" . . . . . Egyptian women show Islamic piousness by wearing hijabs, and now men have a conspicuous symbol of pride: a rough patch of skin on their foreheads (a "raisin"), from praying so much . . . . . Just what the world needs: a teacher encouraging middle-school boys to be more middle-schoolish (vandalizing a Christmas display by putting the reindeer in sexual positions) . . . . . Memo to EMT’s: At an auto crash, always look under the airbag; there may be another body (but don’t be too eager to finalize your report, because she might not be dead yet) [scroll down]

Your Daily Loser
Alfonzo Gomez, 26, is actually a winner, kinda. He fell six floors down a trash chute after climbing in to retrieve his hat. By all rights, he should have been quickly and totally compacted, but he wasn’t.

A Maryland man has discovered that he’s the king of the Isle of Man (the British territory off the coast) and is lookin’ for some fun . . . . . Another science study: College students, and monkeys, can distinguish larger amounts from smaller amounts (Bonus: The researchers named their macaques Boxer and Feinstein) . . . . . Life imitates The Shawshank Redemption: Inmates escape through holes in the wall, covered up by pinup photos . . . . . Speaking of photos, a surgical resident in Phoenix is in big-time trouble for taking a snapshot of his patient's stuff during gall bladder surgery because the guy had a tattoo on it ("Hot Rod") [Ed.: But this is precisely what cell-phone cameras are for] . . . . . Readers’ Choice: A mall Santa in Danbury, Conn., pressed charges against a lady for allegedly feeling him up during a photo op, but she said, No way.

(1) Bishop Thomas Weeks, awaiting trial for choking and stomping his wife [NOTW M028, 10-21-07] in an Atlanta parking lot (she's televangelist Juanita Bynum) in August, announced his church would commence a domestic-violence project [presumably coming out against it, but the story didn’t say], with a conference in February.
(2) Episode 2007-71 (or is it 2007-72, or 2007-70; I forget) of Yr
Editor’s failing memory happened last week when NY Times columnist Gail Collins brought this NOTW story back into focus for me [NOTW 986, 12-31-2006]:
Fine Points of the Law
In November, Arkansas’s outgoing Gov. Mike Huckabee and his wife, who have been happily married for 32 years, nonetheless set up a wedding registry at two department stores because it was apparently the easiest way for them to receive going-away gifts. Arkansas law prohibits gifts to public officials of more than $100, with a few exceptions, such as wedding gifts.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™

Newsrangers: Joe Littrell, Scott Langill, Jenny Beatty, Scott Schrier, Sam Gaines, Mark Neunder, Frank Trocchia, Allison Dederer
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.