Saturday’s 5-Star Special
somehow has not yet come to my attention, so what can a guy do?
Civilization in Decline
The "head table" at Quality Pork Processors is so named because that’s where workers blow compressed air into hogs’ noggins to blast their brains out, and—who knew?—pig brain mist is probably bad for you . . . . . Judge Sunil Kumar Singh in Dhanbad, India, is getting desperate to solve a 1987 land ownership case and has taken to placing newspaper ads demanding that gods Ram and Hanuman report to his courtroom promptly, to help settle it.
The Human Condition Today
Some Virginia Tech people found out (via Facebook) that a couple of Penn State students’ Halloween costumes were VT t-shirts with bullet holes, and yikes! . . . . . Cops think they’re living in good times, thanks to cellphone cameras: "If you give someone a camera-phone, it’s an inviolable rule of nature that they will take a picture with it," said a crim-law professor, and that certainly includes perps proud of their crimes, reported the Wall Street Journal (Nashua, N.H.: "40 or 50 times a year" such photos help them out).
Your Daily Losers
(1) A burglar worked hard to tunnel underneath Steele’s tire store in Coquille, Ore., but he wound up in the semi-truck tire room, which is still locked off from the rest of the store, and he couldn’t even steal any tires because the hole he dug wasn’t big enough to get ‘em out. (2) F-Stater Kevin Shelton was busted for robbing the M&I Bank, largely because he cut short his getaway after a half a block and ducked into a salon to get hair extensions.
Laid off! For having bad breath! In New York City! [which hasn’t smelled "fresh" since the days of Peter Stuyvesant]
Things That Seem Wrong
Ol’ Mike Ditka, who’d been blustering for several yrs that the NFL Players Ass’n wasn’t taking care of old-timers, started a charity in 2004 to do it himself, and the results are in: $1.3m collected, er, $57k distributed. It’s the old-timers’ fault, he said, because they’re "afraid" of filling out the disbursal forms. But the actual problem, it appears, is Ditka’s fondness for schmoozing-type fundraisers that cost, well, nearly 13x as much money as he’s passed out.
Heidi Erickson of Boston, one of the most aggressive and obnoxious cat ladies of recent years [NOTW 897, 4-17-2005, NOTW 799, 6-1-2003], and who has two cruelty convictions on her record, is entitled to get four police-seized cat carcasses back, said Massachusetts’s highest court. Erickson had challenged a judge’s ruling that she could have them back only if she proved that she’d dispose of them properly, but she appealed, saying that she might just want to keep them around . . and she wins!
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
Newsrangers: Sam Varshavchik, John Ellwood, Mark Neunder, Paul Vogt
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.