Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Wednesday’s 5-Star Special
A Chicago Sun-Times project (which probably could be replicated anywhere, actually) revealed that the ice in almost half the restaurants surveyed in the area had bigger traces of ca-ca in it than toilet water from the Sun-Times restrooms. (This resembles the 7th-grade science project a kid from Tampa did last year [NOTW 944, 3-12-2006] that created nat’l buzz.)

Civilization in Decline
For some reason, Bulgaria’s National Electricity Company has agreed to build a nuclear reactor near an active earthquake fault, in fact 15 km from the site of a 120-victim 1977 quake (but they need juice, fast!).

The Human Condition Today
A 77-yr-old member of Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Paignton, England, was ordered from now on (based on numerous complaints) to sit by the front door and walk outside whenever he needs to break wind (He agreed to comply: "I am a loud farter, but there is no smell.") . . . . . Who knew? (1) Bird flu in Europe has caused a critical, emotional shortage of goose fat; (2) The Philadelphia Phillies’ minor league team in Allentown, Pa., the IronPigs, was forced to change its mascot’s name because "Pork Chop" is such a well-known and deep-seated slur on Hispanics; (3) The Sikh community in Meerut, India, was super-perturbed by this phone company joke of the day ("What is the difference between a [Sikh] and a donkey? Answer: a tail")

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Kazuo Oshitani, 48, escalated from just wearing and collecting girls’ underwear; he scattered pieces around his neighborhood, prompting 170 complaints (and was arrested for littering). "I found it sexually arousing to imagine how shocked people would get when spotting the underwear," he said (in an obviously persnickety version of the translation).

A court clerk in Italy mistakenly wrote out, on an official lawsuit witness list, not the appropriate Disney company executives (in a trademark infringement case) but the local names for Mickey, Donald, and Daisy.

Authorities in Kansas City say the toad-lickers that surfaced there recently [NOTW Daily, 11-15-2007] have moved on, to smoking the dried bufotenine for their highs, perhaps because, er, licking a frog is pretty desperate . . . . . Tampa’s own top-of-the-line sexed-up schoolteacher, Debra LaFave [NOTW Daily, 10-27-2006, 3-22-2006, 3-9-2006], was busted this week for a nit-free probation violation (nit-free, in that the authorities appear to have picked 'em all).

Professor Music’s Weird Links
This is an ultra-weird concept that didn’t need to be taken too far, but it was, and is therefore Not Safe For Work. A clothing designer wants you to see his rat fashions, which are garments with actual rat fur and in some cases actual rat heads. But then apparently the only people he could get to model the things are pre-op transsexuals.

Newsrangers: Paul Di Filippo, Salim Virji, John Nicholson, David Johnson, Caroline Lawler
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2007 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.