Friday, January 18, 2008

Friday’s Weird Haul: Mannequin sex (again), The dog-napping mayor, Highly particularlized medical-care complaints, Free (almost) whack-a-pedophile, Zim$10,000,000 currency (and more!)

Civilization in Decline
A German rapper got shot, which to some was an occasion for rejoicing, in that it gives the music the street cred that U.S. rappers have . . . . . Cliches Come to Life: The Times of London said it has eyeballed a recent patent application by Microsoft for technology to monitor (via their computers) employees’ heart rates, body movements and temperatures, blood pressure, and facial expressions, to detect (among other things) who’s about to go postal . . . . . Confessed Ohio murderer Kenneth Moore is in line for a $600k payout from the state because at his trial a decade ago, some-evidence-or-other was denied to his lawyer (and at his retrial, with stale evidence, he was acquitted) . . . . . In Hobart, Australia, the price for beating your childhood pedophile tormenter with a hoe (set by a judge) is A$200.

The Human Condition Today
The mayor of Alice, Tex. (pop. 19,000), Grace Saenz-Lopez, has apparently been running a seriously tacky (also inept) scam to steal a neighbor’s Shih tzu (by pretending it ran away), but intrepid TV reporter Gabe Caggiano is all over the case . . . . . Readers’ Choice: A father in Pardeeville, Wis., supposedly duct-taped his 7-yr-old to a wall in a Green Bay jersey after the boy expressed insufficient idolatry of the Packers, and the man said the incident was overblown (though the missus just got a restraining order), but there appears to be something—something—about the Packers, based on the recent obsessive Australian who sold everything and moved to Green Bay [NOTW M037, 12-23-2007] and the mother who locked her son up every Sunday so she could party at a casino where the Packers game was on the big screen . . . . . Many people don’t think much of U.S. medical care, but we actually have doctors who will take the trouble to give you a rectal exam if you come in for stitches in your head and check your sugar level by licking your toes during an eye exam [well, the latter was only the doctor’s assistant].

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Yr Editor squeamishly (because of the poor journalism, not the injury) reports that a UK company that sells clothing-store display mannequins (Displaysense) is debating whether to put a warning on its female mannequins because a customer confused one for a sex doll and got his thingie stuck (Bonus: He got it stuck in her boob).

If Dr. Pawlowski wants people to take his academic research seriously on things like women's legs, better publish under the first name "B." than his given "Boguslaw" . . . . . Once, a one-ton rodent walked the Earth, Uruguayan researchers report (but that was 2,000,000 yrs ago, which of course is "6,000" in Creation Years) . . . . . What’s grosser than a one-ton rat is Dr. Gunther von Hagens’s latest project, which is a documentary of the autopsy of a 350-lb. guy who was said to have eaten himself to death, showing, for example, how difficult it is to move the waves of fat out of the way just to look at his enlarged heart.

Yr Editor didn’t realize this until now (despite mentioning this case oh-so-many times [e.g., NOTW 717, 11-4-2001], but supposedly the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs has been barred by a federal court from department-wide Internet access since 2001 because it can’t guarantee that its servers are secured against hackers messing with records on the multi-billion-dollar Indian trust fund accounts (which are hopelessly screwed up and represent one of the worst federal gov’t failures of modern times, by the way) . . . . . Zimbabwe’s rate of inflation is now up to 25,000 percent ("officially") (street estimates: 150,000 percent), but things will soon be all right because the gov’t has begun printing (Zim)$10,000,000 bills (which will buy you two restaurant burgers) (seriously) . . . . . Kevin Strom, the white nationalist leader caught with child porn (by his wife, who came home unexpectedly and saw him scurrying away naked from the computer) [NOTW Daily, 10-13-2007], pleaded to one count and was sentenced, but he insisted to the judge that he absolutely was not a white supremacist or a neo-Nazi [and ya gotta admire a man for trying to protect his good name].

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe next time.™

Newsrangers: Sam Gaines, Larry Ellis Reed, Harry Farkas, Steve Miller, Ginger Katz, Tony Punko, Eli Christman, Peter Maciuba, Scott Schrier, Bob Pert, Brian Kelly
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.