Monday, January 14, 2008

Things You Didn’t Know: Serving hobbyist artistic scrapbookers is a $2.6B industry in the U.S. ("adult videos" is said to be only four times that much). There’s a Hall of Fame for scrapbooking. A superstar just got booted out of the Hall. She was booted out because she let someone else do a photo for her scrapbook. Because of that, other scrapbookers treat her with the vitriol that Dick Cheney would get at an ACLU convention. Did I mention that scrappers spend $2.6B a yr?

Civilization in Decline
Yet another one of those art exhibits: Chinese-born Brit Terence Koh unveiled his statue of 74 plaster figures, many of the men in which (including Jesus) have John Holmes-size-plus erections (gallery: Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art, Gateshead) . . . . . Defying all pre-1980s stereotypes of Poles, a teen genius in Lodz, Poland, built a remote control, hacked into the municipal train system, and had himself some fun . . . . . It’s Good to Be a British Prisoner (continued): A university study submitted to the Ministry of Justice says that not only is the prison system required to allow inmates to FedEx their sperm out for fatherhood (as the European Court of Human Rights recently ruled) (and as Darwin is rolling over in his grave about) but the equivalent procreative apparatus needs to be set up for female inmates (i.e., full IVF facilities).

The Human Condition Today
Amsterdam airport authorities arrested a "priest" who had cocaine taped to his legs underneath his robes (but he gets extra credit for insisting that it was "holy sand") . . . . . An 8-yr employee of Ace Hardware headquarters was among the latest round of U.S. layoffs, but it probably had more to do with the fact that he committed $152M worth of bookkeeping errors, that cost the company $10M to fix (even though not a speck of fraud was involved) . . . . . A 5th-grade teacher is in trouble in Yokohama for unconventional discipline: getting the entire class to line up so she could walk down the line and slap each one in the face . . . . . And finally, a Los Angeles Times dispatch yesterday from China defies fair summarization so let’s just say crickets: singing crickets, pro fighter crickets, cricket beauty pageants, cricket steroids, cricket fights on big-screen TV to analyze punching and tossing-by-jaw, serial sex before fights, eating well and sleeping in fancy digs, bringing in the big bucks, cricketmania!

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Police in Bergen, Norway, finally nabbed (after 30 yrs!) the guy known as "Pocket Man" for his m.o. of approaching young boys and asking for help fishing something out of his pants pocket (which naturally has a big hole in it!) (Bonus: He had a clean record, owns his own big-time business, earns the equivalent of $570k/yr).

Arrested for attempting to drive over her husband: the wife of Mr. King Money Tarzan Jenkins . . . . . Sounds Like a Joke: (1) Health officials in Salinas, Calif., shut down a home because of excessive mercury levels, which came about because the mother’s boyfriend had given the kids a jar of mercury to go play with, and (2) In Toronto, there’s vegetarian haggis [which, come to think of it, probably couldn’t be worse than the original and might be tastier, (as would any of Yr Editor’s boiled shoes, by the way)].

Things That Seem Wrong
The downside of a piecemeal approach: Now that animal-rights activists have basically abolished horse-slaughtering in the U.S. (next stop: all of North America), it turns out that the nags merely get transported (uncomfortably) to Mexico and Canada for slaughter, where PETA and existing "euthanizing" protocols are much weaker.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
To protect your beloved pit bull when you send him into battle, you surely won’t scrimp on the pit-bull armor.

NOTW, The Blog
Twice last week Yr Editor’s Inbox was unusually flooded—with tips to the stories about the guys wheeling their own (dead) Bernie down to the check-cashing office and about the British twins supposedly separated at birth and who unknowingly married each other later on. The first one appeared here [NOTW Daily, 1-9-2008] because I found it before the major news outlets picked it up, and in fact, it was posted here ahead of the dozens of tips I have received so far. The twins story I’m laying off of altogether because it doesn’t yet look legit. It’s here if you haven’t seen it yet, but the "news" comes from one of the House o’ Lords Lords, David Acton, who said that a judge told him that the twins exist (but he won’t give details). For some reason, news outlets are going with it. Looks to Minister Chuck like Lord Acton was maybe trying to make a political point about donated-sperm pregnancies and pulled a horror scenario out of his arse, but, who knows, it may be a true story. It’s just that ya can’t tell yet because there’s no "reporting." Meanwhile, regarding an important story about which there’s actually been some on-the-ground reporting with damning circumstantial evidence, yet which "the media" haven’t mentioned yet (except National Enquirer), presidential candidate John Edwards’s friends continue to probably cover up his probable recent extramarital affair. (And speaking of circumstantial evidence, Yr Editor has never seen a better layout than this one by a physician explaining in careful detail why he thinks Gov. Huckabee must have had bariatric surgery to lose 110 lbs. in two yrs and keep it off (though Huckabee wrote a book attributing it all to diet and exercise) [link from].

Newsrangers: Steve Passen, Robb Ludwig, Steve Dunn, Joe Littrell, Steve Miller, Bob Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.