Friday, May 16, 2008

Friday’s Creme de la Weird
The news is painful again today. About 150 seniors amassed in downtown Melbourne, Australia, to protest the gov’t's insufficient attention to them, budgetwise, and in the spirit of some third-world cultures, a few expressed their displeasure by stripping, including “a couple of lively ladies” “parad[ing] in their bras.” The Agence France-Presse report has a photo of one, but Yr Editor warns that it’s Not Safe. Not safe at all.

Detroit’s African-American mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is under siege after being caught, dead to right, lying under oath in order to protect his secret lover (that everyone knew about, anyway). He recently played the race card, claiming that he’s been called that N word more times in the last month than “any time in my entire life.” Detroit’s weekly Metro Times newspaper wondered about that (since the mayor is always isolated from the ordinary ol’ public), citing the thousands of text messages between the lovers that the Detroit Free Press had revealed, in which the couple playfully and frequently called each other that (including His Honor’s charming term of endearment for her, uh, “nigette”).

My, my, a Reuters reporter caught wind of the well-known (but not to him, or his editors) Icelandic Phallological Museum and has treated us all to his “cover.” The only update from the last go-round is that the Museum’s collection of penii still lacks a human’s (other than the personal one of curator Sigudur Hjartarson). [Contains a photo, but it's Safe For Work, unless you really, really have a problem.] [NOTW 607, 9-24-1999 (based on another Reuters story from 5-20-1999)]

In a tight “reality” job market, the Wall Street Journal reports, lots of young people are working this summer virtually, by enterprising it up on Second Life, either scavenging the virtual world for things to resell to players or creating their own products. “On a typical day, Second Life players spend close to $1.5m [fully convertible by the game’s operator] on virtual clothes, jewelry, homes, cars, and real estate.” “Research firm Gartner Media estimates that by 2011, 80 percent of Internet users worldwide will have an avatar [a fictional alter-ego in some online game or other].” And you may recall that sweatshops in China hire people to pore over World of Warcraft to salvage gold from vanquished warriors, for resale. [NOTW M021, 9-2-2007] [New York Times magazine, 6-17-2007]

The Human Condition Today
Theresa Bailey won £5,000 after a sexual harassment trial in Ashford, England, for a lot of “laddish” behavior, such as that the boss frequently “lifted his right cheek” and let one rip in her direction.

Your Daily Loser
Mark Baxter, 19, thought it through part-way, at least. According to police, he did great on the box-switch at Circuit City, coming away with a new Sony VAIO and leaving his old Gateway notebook in the Sony VAIO box. But Circuit City had his credit card number on file, and besides, when the cops checked the Sony, they found some child porn Baxter had just downloaded.

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Cheyenne Blanton, 17, and her almost equally delightful old man, Joseph Nagle, 16, charged with assault (and don’t let Cheyenne’s 17 previous juvenile court cases influence your judgment)

Least ambitious burglar: He hid in a Kohl’s department store until closing, then had the run of the place, and as near as they can figure, he left with two wallets, a belt, and a tie . . . . . A substitute middle-school teacher showed up for class stewed to the gills, but he said his vanity license plate IMBLZT was intended to mean “I am blessed” rather than “I am blitzed” . . . . . Two trucks street- raced through Huntsville, Ala., at 75 mph in a 50 mph zone, and an ensuing smashup sent a 3-yr-old girl to critical-care, and by the way, both were company trucks of beloved Comcast.

The F State
Dena Patterson, 79, of Brooksville, heard that somebody got paid $28,000 for a grilled-cheese sandwich with the Virgin Mary on it, and so she needs money and is willing to part with that rock she found in 1996 with Virg’s likeness. “I expect to get a lot of money,” she said.

Yr Editor’s been keeping you up periodically on the latest rate of inflation in Zimbabwe, and it’s now up to 165,000 percent annually, and the gov’t just issued currency of the denomination 500,000,000 Zimbabwe dollars [US$2] . . . . . South Carolina’s 7-ft-tall, Sasquatch-like “Lizard Man,” according to DNA from a recent sighting, was (well, people exaggerate) just a big dog. There’ve been sightings since 1988, though, so maybe a real 7-footer is still out there. (Now, don’t confuse this Lizard Man with Erik Sprague, who body-modified himself to become a sideshow Lizard Man [forked tongue, “scale” tattoos, bumpy implants on his forehead].) [NOTW 622, 1-7-2000] []

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe Monday.™

Newsrangers: Kent Cooper, Roger Gulbransen, Steve Miller, Sam Gaines, Kathryn Wood
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.