Thursday, May 08, 2008

Things To Worry About On Thursday
Who’s texting? The Pope / The dry-cleaning lawsuit guy, back in the saddle / Latest in Sino tech / You allowed me to run over your dog / And more!

Creme de la Weird
From the Thousand Oaks, Calif., Acorn: “Last week, Michael Avery decided what college he’s going to attend [Univ. of Kentucky, full-basketball scholarship]. Now all he has to do is choose a high school” since he’s now in the 8th grade (Bonus: He’s white).

Civilization in Decline
Last month, Yr Editor noted a soldier shocked to learn that he’d been deployed back to Iraq despite (1) his service term having ended except for the emergency “Ready Reserve” and (2) war-time injuries, including complete loss of hearing in one ear, but USA Today this morning says these things are de rigueur during the rigors of this war (43,000 assigned for deployment off the medically-unfit list, though some are for, y’know, headaches) . . . . . In July, cigarette taxes in NYC will constitute almost half of the nearly-45-cent price of a single cigarette, which everybody but smokers seems to love, including organized crime and Middle East terrorists, who’ve opened a grand black market . . . . . An alleged UK drug dealer will get to keep his £1.5m seizable assets because legal aid lawyers are on a sorta slow-down strike for more money, and no one’ll represent him (Bonus for the gov't: If he gets his money back, he won't qualify for legal aid) . . . . . Stephanie Grissom of Columbia, Md., has already escaped indictment for causing a traffic-scene cop’s death even though she was speeding and not particularly paying attention, so this week’s other-shoe falling is just icing (3 points on her license, $310 fine).

The Human Condition Today
Fr. Vincent Inametti, 48, who was having sex with the lady-inmates while chaplain at a women’s prison, got a four-year sentence, so it looks like he’ll soon be having sex with the gentleman-inmates . . . . . Nikki Munthe’s miniature pinscher ran past her, out the door and into the street, and was killed by a fellow dog-owner driving by, which saddened him, but on the other hand, there’s that damage to his car (and he filed a $1,100 small-claims lawsuit) . . . . . A magistrate in Cabell County, W.Va., who is 78, is running for re-election despite recent lapses (such as sleeping in his office for five straight days without benefit of bathing).

Your Daily Loser
Mayor Becky Miller of a Dallas, Tex., suburb is going toe-to-toe with the Dallas Morning News over details of her biography. So far, the News is kicking butt: It’s caught several lies/exaggerations, and when she tries to lie her way out of those, it catches her again.

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
A four-bagger, of Kokomo, Ind., “adults” with child-abuse charges, with the actual mother appearing [mugshot only, now!] to be the least guilty

There’s a Catholic Youth Day coming up in July in Australia, and it says here the Pope will be texting inspirational messages to kids (OMG, LMAO, etc.) . . . . . News you might use, some day: Authorities in China are worried about a proliferation of devices that beat traffic cameras by remotely rotating license plates.

The F State
Even in the F State, half the people think they’re better than the other half (and want there to be two, er, Floridas) . . . . . Floridians traditionally don’t do well on science tests, so there’s not much concern so far that 3,500 acres of Lake Okeechobee are on fire (but wait til they find out that water’s not supposed to burn!).

Washington, D.C.’s dry-cleaning-lawsuit obsessive has just filed another, against the District of Calamity gov’t for firing him as an administrative law judge (D.C.’s att’y general: “He needs to stop filing lawsuits”) . . . . . Tony Zirkle, the candidate Yr Editor mentioned on Saturday [NOTW Daily, 5-3-2008], who was worried about black male porn stars gettin' more than he'll ever get, lost his Congressional primary this week, by a larger margin than in his last race.

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™

Newsrangers: Tom Barker, Paul Blumstein, Sam Gaines, Pete Randall, Vikki Williams, Mark Neunder, Keith Grossman
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.