Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Things To Worry About On Tuesday
Jesus Malverde and St. Tranny in the news / Administering acupuncture to Portland / A bookburner who needs a name change / Hey, who isn’t in love with Uma Thurman? / And more!

Creme de la Weird
Authorities removed 330 cats from a home in Sacramento, Calif., notable only in that 300 of them were frozen stiff in three freezers, meaning probably that additional freezers had been specially purchased to store the accumulating carcasses.

Civilization in Decline
Malaysia’s gov’t said it would start requiring lone women to get written permission to travel overseas (Yep, women’s groups went nuts), and there’s at least a plausible good intention . . . . . At least one travel agency in Rio is in trouble for offering hands-on-mingling visits with drug gangs in the slums [Ed.: “And here’s a picture I took of Thelma with Carlo the hit man while Edson shows her how he cuts coke”], but that guy says other agencies do it, too.

The Human Condition Today
Your typical angry suburban mom/bookburning story, except that it’s not the public library where the scandalous volumes are, but, um, Urban Outfitters (Bonus: Soon, every male on the Internet will be aware of the mom’s last name) (Perplexed female readers may ask Yr Editor) . . . . . Uma Thurman’s 3-yr relationship with her stalker is being jury-deliberated as we speak; the guy tried to make it seem only unrequited love (“He doesn’t think like most of us,” his lawyer told the jurors. “Think about the stupid things you have done [for love].”) . . . . . Meet Prof. Priya Venkatesan, who has threatened to file a lawsuit against either Dartmouth or her students (not clear) for the “hostile work environment” she was subjected to on “gender” grounds because students were not properly sharing her view that “science” is less about “science” than about male domination [Warning: Link goes to politically-leaning piece instead of the usual mainstream newspaper source; also, tell me if it doesn't work because the Wall Street Journal has been accepting Yr Editor's links even though content is pay-per-view] . . . . . Adam Kuby has already planted one acupuncture-like stake into the city of Portland, Ore., 23-ft high, and is looking for more spots, which he said will improve the city’s chi, even though Portland is already one of the chi-est cities in America.

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Michael Younge, 17, who told the arresting officer that he “wanted to look thug-like in his picture”

NOTW Lite
At Brunton Theatre in Scotland, an actor collapsed on stage just as his character was having a heart attack [There oughta be a slick phrase to describe that] . . . . . Roman Catholic officials are in a tizzy on two fronts: They don’t much like that Jesus Malverde is celebrated in Mexico this time of year by drug dealers, who have modified his credentials a bit to regard him as the “Narco Saint,” and they don’t much like that some churches in the Philippines allow cross-dressing gay men to portray female saints in church dramas . . . . .A major dilemma, for those of you who believe in the rule of “law” (as opposed to, y’know, just asking people what they want to happen, in a CNN poll, which is the direction it looks like we’re all headed): Literally billions of dollars has been awarded in eight yrs by U.S. patent judges who were appointed to office in a slam-dunk-unconstitutional manner, and do not expect the losers in all those billion-dollar cases now to say, hey, no prob.

The F State
A substitute teacher just up the road from Weird Central said he got canned for showing a magic trick in class, which was reported by someone to be “wizardry” (but Yr Editor thinks there’s more to come on this).

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Your own alien-abduction-prevention kit

NOTW, The Blog
London’s Daily Mail had a cheap take-out on a few green-preaching celebrities (y’know, DeCaprio, Streisand, Sting), and it does raise the question (to be asked of Mr. Gore as well) of how much of our “carbon footprints” we should be reducing. If an environmental apocalypse is upon us, should a celebrity-noodge be allowed, say, a 10-times-larger footprint than the average American’s, or 20-, or what? (No way should he be limited to just the average, because, after all, he’s not average; he’s . . a celebrity.) The Daily Mail, using no original research, says Madonna’s is more than 100x, and Chris Martin’s (Coldplay) is 250x. Looks like the others in the story are in that range. [NOTWD ombudsman Buddy: So, Chuck, is this about skepticism over climate change?] Just my longstanding love of celebrity fatuousness; if celebrities just went out and celebbed instead of doing all that noodging . . ..

Newsrangers: Rob Snyder, Mark Neunder, David Oldridge, Steve Miller, Emory Kimbrough, Steve Wall
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.