Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Tuesday’s Creme de la Weird
Whew! It’s rough out there, two days in a row! The feds in Kansas City have indicted a man and his ex-girlfriend for training her daughter, then 14, to be a “dominatrix,” but it’s unclear whether that was for Internet customers or in person in Blue Springs, Mo. As soon as photos are posted, Yr Editor will direct you to ‘em, y’know, so you can determine whether they’re guilty.

Civilization in Decline
The Airliner as Jungle: Mr. Gokhan Mutlu has sued JetBlue for $2m because the lion-king pilot made him sit for 3 hours in the plane’s toilet (even during turbulence; no airbag needed). (Back story: Mutlu got the last seat, but only on a freebie “buddy” ticket, but an employee riding free, who had first accepted the cockpit jump seat, decided after take-off that she wanted to sit in the cabin.)

The Human Condition Today
Approaching the record for fastest remorse: A Japanese man was said to have immediately left the convenience store he heisted and gone directly to the police station (5 minutes away) . . . . . If inmates need twigs to celebrate their deities, they’ll get them, in Britain, anyway . . . . . And if outgoing Nepalese king Gyanendra needs to kill a buffalo and a duck (and more) to get goddess Kali to pay attention to him, consider it done.

People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
A man from Padua, Italy, was arrested in Venice with one of those shopping bags with a camera lens peeking out (and DVD’s containing 3,000 images); he was a butt man, by the way.

Chinese agriculture researchers in Guandong proudly showed off their 2-ft-long cucumbers and other humongous vegetables [photo: big-ass pumpkin] that were grown partly in zero gravity, supposedly one remedy for the world’s food shortage.

Mainstream Media catch up to News of the Weird: (1) ABC News medic’ed up that Sheyla Hershey/big-breast obsession [NOTW Daily, 5-9-2008], telling her from afar that she’s probably already filled the silicone tank as full as Texas state law will allow. (2) The NY Times this morning caught up with the euthanasia of the Victimless Leather art exhibit [NOTW Daily, 5-5-2008]. (3) The Times did value-add this morning on the significance in Saudi Arabia of “milk siblings,” which are unrelated males and females who were breastfed by the same woman (and therefore, those males are allowed to mingle with those females and see them unveiled). NOTW’s take was somewhat different [NOTW Daily, 5-23-2007]:
An Egyptian scholar, Ezzat Atiya, combing the fine print in the Quran [NOTE: The Times says the practice predates Islam], came up with a way in which an unmarried man and woman actually can be alone with each other. The way to do that, see, is for her to symbolically breastfeed him five times (presumably, in the presence of a male relative of hers). That way, said Ezzat, everyone can be assured that if the man and woman then go off alone, nothing immoral could possibly happen because the Quran says a man could never do bad things with a woman who has breastfed him (presumably meaning his mom, but perhaps the Prophet Mohammad could have been clearer about that). Ezzat has been suspended from his teaching post.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™

Newsrangers: Michael Lawlor, Scott Langill, John Holsinger
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.