Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wednesday’s Creme de la Weird
Can’t Possibly Be True: Police said Darrell Walker, 30, Bartlesville, Okla., routinely disciplines his son, 8, and daughter, 7, by shooting them with his BB gun (except that the girl said, once, when he ran out of BB’s, he just bopped her in the head with the gun). (This is a step down toward hell from the May 5 [NOTW Daily, 5-5-2008] maternal BB-winging of a little girl, which was just over the woman’s desire to win a $1 bet with her boyfriend.)

Wives 2, Husbands 0: After 7 weeks of marital bliss, Nevada Assemblywoman Francis Allen was charged with stabbing her husband in the arm in a fight and then, when he asked for help, telling him to call his mother (but both tried to change the story later). And when F-Stater Adam Ward fell behind in his marriage-dissolution payments, the estranged missus commandeered his computer to encourage him to pay up, but then he reported the blatant extortion to the police, who later found Adam’s child pornography on it.

District of Calamity: The Washington, D.C., police chief re-hired 17 officers who had been fired for blatant misconduct but only because the department had not made final disposition of each case within “55 days,” as personnel rules require. The department said that, at the time of firing, people viewed “55" as just a guideline. (The Washington Post had revealed that between 1991-1993, the more-than-200 suspended or fired cops had been reinstated by the courts based on the 55-day rule.)

Freedom of the Press: A Court of the something-something in Brussels, interpreting the “free press” part of Belgium’s Constitution, found that it applies only to “writers” and not to an “illustrator” whose cartoon equated a Belgian businessman with Congo’s former dictator Mobutu. And don’t even try to claim “free press” if you’re TV or the Internet! (On the other hand, the Court figured the businessman was hurt only 1 euro’s worth.)

Legislature in Action: Maine last had a nuclear plant in 1997, but it continues to have a nuclear safety advisor and a nuclear safety inspector, with a total budget of $276k. Turns out the legislature’d like to eliminate them, but the current advisor is a former state senate big shot, so that job stays, and to make that not look too obvious, they kept the other job, too.

The Human Condition Today
A Miami (Ohio) Univ. student died of his injuries suffered 3 weeks ago when he fell out of bed at a frat house (it was a loft bed, but still . .) . . . . . Police in LaCrosse, Wis., notifying a 17-yr-old boy about a complaint that he had posted nude photos of an underage girl on his MySpace page and giving him a chance to take them down, was charged, anyway, when he allegedly responded, “[expletive] that. I am keeping them up.”

Your Daily Loser
Cops still don’t know his name, but he’d been running a fraudulent credit-card scam in central Florida, until a convenience store clerk alerted police, who descended on the store, causing Our Man to flee, except that he ran full speed into the front door (Bonus: mug shot reflects souvenirs of the door’s decisive victory)

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Zachary Rodriguez, 18, scheduled to graduate from high school last Saturday morning, stands accused of a break-in theft Friday night (Bonus: and a vial of cocaine in his rectum)

Now, even the Gotti mob family’s suffering from sour mortgage loans: “Sal” squeezed and squeezed, and finally “persuaded” the faltering company to pay up, but now the feds are suing Sal for collecting his marker more efficiently than the bankruptcy trustee can collect his own markers on behalf of the company’s other creditors . . . . . An F-State mom and son were able to spend quality time when their hearings were called before the same judge in the same afternoon (he, rape; she, probation violation).

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™

NOTW, The Blog
(1) The baby survived, so this wouldn’t qualify for Yr Editor’s “middle-name-Wayne murderers” list, anyway, but, charged with child abuse in Gastonia, N.C.: Sharena Waynette Bess . . . . . (2) Yr Editor’s Fine Whinery: Yr Editor dutifully reported to you [NOTW Daily, 5-6-2008] the case of the middle-school teacher supposedly sacked because his in-class magic trick was termed, he said, “wizardry” by his superiors. I told you at the time that there was more to the story (he had several transgressions on his record that dwarfed any religious text), and in fact, there had to be more because not even an F State school board would do that, if only because there are far more acceptable, bulletproof words and phrases one could use to accomplish the same religious-based firing. A follow-up by the St. Petersburg Times on Sunday put the story into perspective. It’s quite clear that the teacher made up the “w” word simply to attract attention, and it worked (except he’s still fired). The poor school board member got death threats from afar after Keith Olbermann (among many others) trashed her, based upon completely slurping up the original, uncritical use of the teacher’s word “wizardry.” And that’s what “news” has become these days on the Internet and on cable and local TV. Run with the sensational because the Internet audience, and the cable and local TV audience, are all about now; current; quick; first; pizzazz; outrage; boom! Left behind is what used to be “news,” and that includes, too often, Yr Editor, who is forced to discard three or four otherwise-fabulous, but poorly-“reported,” stories every day that popular Internet news aggregators salivate over. End of rant. Thankya, thankyaverrmuch.

Newsrangers: Karl Olson, Jeff Berg, John DeJong, Don Tyler, Harry Farkas
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.