Friday, June 20, 2008

Friday’s Creme de la Weird

TV news that Can’t Possibly Be True
Premiering on the G4 cable network on July 15th will be the reality show, uh, Hurl, which is as it appears: Contestants gorge themselves, then get strapped onto a big spinner, and the one to throw up last wins. Seriously. ABC News

With straight faces, the people of Zheleznovodsk, Russia, dedicated a town monument to the, er, enema
The region’s spas do big business including, apparently, mineral-water colonics, so here’s an 800-lb. syringe bulb, held aloft by three men. A banner reads “Let’s beat constipation.” Said a local artist, “This device is eternal. It will never change.” Associated Press via Yahoo

U.S. contractor in Afghanistan, being sued by GIs’ families for wrongful death, invokes Sharia law
Nat’l Transportation Safety Board said the deaths were the fault of the contractor (a sister corporation of those charming Blackwater folks), but Sharia holds only the individual employees liable. Raleigh News and Observer

“God willing” is becoming Egypt’s linguistic equivalent of “like” and “y’know”
It’s not just headscarves, or the “raisin” bumps on the head from enthusiastic praying [NOTW M042, 1-27-2008]. Now pious Egyptians toss “inshallah” around with their every word. ([What’s your name?] Fezzik, God willing. [Will you have onions on your sandwich?] Yes, God willing.) New York Times
[Ed.: Er, Blogger is acting funny right here, and I can't get the link to stick so if you want this story, you'll have to copy and paste]

Evidently, even the “seventh most genetically valuable horse in the North American breeding program” can be vasectomized if for the convenience of whichever zoo he’s being kept at
The zoo may have to house him with fillies who aren’t, y’know, qualified to receive his immortal sperm. Fortunately, vets can now do vasectomy-reversals on horses! Science Daily

Busy day at Washington’s National Press Club
First, a guy named Gary W. Sinclair rented a room Wednesday to publicize his unsubstantiated charge that he did sex ‘n’ cocaine with state senator Obama in 1999, which he’s had a tough time getting anyone to believe, since he’s got a long rap sheet for frauds, but then apparently some bloggers tipped police, and Sinclair was arrested at the scene based on a Delaware warrant he’s been running from, and it turns out Sinclair’s lawyer is our old friend Montgomery Blair Sibley, the attorney of last resort who brings instant discredit to any client (in those states where he hasn’t been disbarred). Sibley showed up Wednesday in a kilt. One reporter: “I don’t mean to be impudent, but why are you wearing a kilt?” Sibley: “It has to do with genitalia. If you are on the smaller side, then pants are not uncomfortable [sic].” blog / Sydney Morning Herald

The Human Condition Today
Manuel Douglas set his house on fire when he fell asleep while deep-frying a pork chop (Bonus: “Douglas told investigators he kept [the] deep-fryer next to his sofa”) . . . . . They’re looking for Marcel Perrot in Edmonton, Alberta, for robbing a bank while test-driving a truck from a dealership (Bonus: The salesman was innocently waiting in the truck outside the bank the whole time) . . . . . Readers’ Choice: From Grand Prairie, Tex., the latest "used his waistband as a holster" mishap, and he won’t be doing that again, ever . . . . . It appears that 17 girls at Gloucester (Mass.) High made a pact to get pregnant by any means necessary because they were desperate to have someone to love them unconditionally.

Your Daily Loser
Gelando Olivieri, who was arrested after he got chased out of an F State liquor store by the clerk he was robbing (which he was trying to do by being armed with a palm frond) (but it was one with sharp leaves!) (Of course there’s a surveillance photo!) WKMG-TV (Orlando)

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
William Moser, 26 (who, technically, is a gunshot “victim,” but even his mom admits it’s just a matter of time before he perps up once again) Dominion Post (Wellington, New Zealand)

A high school in rural Thailand broke down and built a third-sex bathroom with a half-man, half-woman image on the door, dictated by the fact that almost 8 percent of the entire student body claim to be transvestites . . . . . It’s only fair: Chinese South Africans, who were “colored” under apartheid, have been officially classified now as “black” and entitled to all the anti-white gov’t bennies . . . . . It looks like a judge in Quebec has overruled one parent’s grounding of a 12-yr-old girl, which would be sorta big news, but from the reports Yr Editor can’t be sure the decision wasn’t simply based on the judge’s empowering the other parent (who didn’t ground her) (the parents are divorced).

(1) The problem’s worse than Yr Editor reported this week [NOTW M062, 6-15-2008]: 27,000 doctors, hospitals, and other Medicare providers owe more than $2B in back taxes, and the gov’t could be docking each Medicare reimbursement 15 percent to recoup taxes, but isn’t. (2) So now somebody punked out the people around Vancouver, B.C., by planting a washed-ashore shoe with a “foot” inside it! (So the total of real ones remains at 5.)

Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe Monday.™

NOTW, The Blog
The this week reminded us that the Phabulous Phelpses of Topeka, Kan., actually had a local history of representing blacks in civil rights challenges and only after that commenced their holy war against homosexuality.

Newsrangers: Bruce Townley, Bob Pert, Scott Schrier, Karl Olson, Maggie Morgan, Catherine May, Emory Kimbrough, and a lot of people on the enema and waistband and parental-grounding beats.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.