Monday, June 23, 2008

Monday’s Creme de la Weird

A ventilation problem last year at a Centers for Disease Control infectious research lab was remedied by, uh, putting duct tape around the door (and the tape’s still there!)
Oh, the public was never at risk, an official said; the duct tape is just an “enhancement.” Said a critic, “I do not believe the CDC would approve this arrangement in a laboratory other than their own.” Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Police in a Minneapolis suburb, trying to be helpful, walked into a home at 3 a.m., scaring the bejeezus out of the kids and the parents, just to tell them, Hey, be sure to lock your doors at night
St Paul Pioneer-Press

Can’t Possibly Be True: A high school honor student was suspended for 2 yrs for giving his teacher a playful noogie
On appeal, the school reduced it to 10 months. The teacher was well-known to playfully endure noogies. Classmates can’t believe this is happening. [Ed.: Neither can I; something’s missing here] WCBS-TV (New York City)

Caged boy “skinned, eaten by family”
It’s a story from the Czech Republic, but it’s being widely circulated, meaning lots of editors think it’ll stand up [and it looks good to Yr Editor]. A mother and her friend continually abused, sexually and otherwise, her two adolescent sons. They were forced to cut themselves. Then, the women munched on the flesh, all at the direction of the mysterious text-messager, “the Doctor.” When arrested, mom said she was brainwashed by the friend and the Doctor, as part of a cult called the Grail Movement. When the news broke, said Grail Movement said, Not us; it was a breakaway cult of Joseph Skria, whom we kicked out in 1996. (Bonus: Mom’s kinda cute, actually) (Double bonus: The abuse was exposed when the women set up a remote video feed so they could watch the kids suffer but didn’t encrypt the signal, and the next-door neighbor accidentally picked it up) Daily Mail (London) / Daily Telegraph (Sydney) [“kinda cute”] / message from Grail Movement

A delightfully complicated murder trial is underway in Atlanta
A Louisiana grocer from India asked a pal to find a hit man to get rid of the grocer’s black daughter-in-law in Atlanta so the son could find a nice Indian girl, instead. The pal engaged a broker, who found the hit man. It’ll be tough to pull off because the couple are always together, the hit man said. I could do the job easier if I killed both of them (a 2-for-1 special!). No, no, not the son, just the daughter-in-law. Hit man did the job, but had a witness with him. He trusted the witness because she made a “pinky promise” with him (hooking pinky fingers) not to squeal. The half-clever grocer and his broker are on tape: “Remember,” said the broker, “I did that murder for you.” “You did it for me,” said the grocer, “but the problem is [thinking on his feet, though it’s too late for that now] I don’t know anything about that. Am I right or wrong? I don’t know nothing about that.” Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Cliche come to life: British town council actually outlaws use of the word “brainstorming” as offensive to epileptics
When people meet to think creatively, they’ll be having “thought showers” now. The epileptics’ association says, Seriously? Daily Mail (London)

When (and why) did junior high schools in Houston stop making boys strip naked for swimming class?
YMCAs were notorious for that as late as the 1950s, Yr Editor knows. A Houston Chronicle columnist posits that it started in the 19th century when swim suits were full-body and would shed fibers freely, clogging pool drains, and nobody bothered to change the policy until some time in the 1950s or later. Houston Chronicle

Modern jousting: like ultimate fighting but with horses, lances, and body armor
There are a couple hundred competitive jousters in the world, who take no prisoners (“It’s not about the prize you win. It’s about hearing your rivals’ wives weep”). This is altogether different from those renaissance-fair weekend revivals, which are for costumes and camaraderie. These cats are serious. Ya can get hurt here (and spend a lot of money). Wall Street Journal

The Human Condition Today
The 1980s Kansas City serial rapist-murderer was convicted on Thursday, and draw your own conclusions about why he turned bad, but maybe it was his inability to get a date, what with his real name being Mr. Shy Bland . . . . . This F State dentist has a 35-yr career and sparkling reputation–except for that one patient where the dentist accidentally dropped the screwdriver down his throat while putting in an implant, and then, when the patient went back for the job, six months later, the dentist accidentally dropped a torque wrench down his throat . . . . . Middle-school teacher-student sex in Jefferson County, Ala., which is unremarkable except it involves at least 8 boys, which might violate the state’s bag limit.

Your Daily Loser
He seeks police help in getting his car back after lending it to an acquaintance for an errand, and no, he didn’t quite get the actual name or address of the acquaintance, but he does know a guy who knows the acquaintance, and the guy said the acquaintance goes by “Weasel.” Las Cruces Sun-News

Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Carol Blair, 63, and her daughter Brigit Moore, 36, were arrested in Rocklin, Calif., for lots o’ car vandalism in a neighborhood (though police said they were just trashing Blair’s ex-husband’s car and then did the others as cover. KOVR-TV (Sacramento)

Duke Univ. is a basketball powerhouse, but they really suck at football, and in fact, according to their lawyers, their football team is a lot lousier even than people think, which is why the school wins this lawsuit . . . . . Some say Bhutan has the world’s awfulest cuisine, but it’ll be showcased on the Washington, D.C., Mall this week at a Smithsonian festival (e.g., chili peppers in yak cheese, yak-butter tea, ferns boiled to slime)

The mayor of Gloucester, Mass., said the sourcing is mighty thin for that alleged pregnancy pact by those 17 high school girls [NOTW Daily, 6-20-2008], i.e., just the school principal’s word for it, based on someone’s telling him. Yr Editor guesses, then, that the story is back in play.

Professor Music’s Weird Links has updated its Master List of female teachers caught fooling around with students (with details), but don’t go here unless you’ve got some time on your hands ‘cause, well, it’s a master list.

Newsrangers: Steve Miller, Joe Littrell, Paul Music, Alan Magid, Mark Neunder, Paul Bruesch, Scott Langill, Emory Kimbrough, Jeff Berg, Sam Gaines, Jenny Beatty
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.