Wednesday’s Creme de la Weird
Update: NY Times, Wall St Journal report the French court decision to grant a Muslim man an annulment when he discovered his wife was not a virgin
News of the May court ruling [NOTW Daily, 6-2-2008] has not only stirred up French secularists but rejuvenated the hymen-restoration surgery market, so that brides get a kinda certificate of virginity. New York Times / Wall Street Journal
“People have no idea how graphic the images are”
An ACLU technology guy said the new generation of high-tech body scanners (now going into 10 major U.S. airports) can see sex organ and breast size, colostomy bags, penile implants, etc. All faces are blurred, and the images can’t be copied or stored because, well, that’s the protocol, protocols are always followed! Agence France-Presse
Just as U.S. ISP’s agree to block child porn websites, France ups the ante by agreeing to block “hate” sites, too
Ya pretty much know what “child porn” is, and it has no positive social value, but deciding what kind of “hate” is “offensive” depends on who’s asking and who’s answering. (Bonus: Hamas announced that Gaza’s only ISP would start blocking all porn, but there’s now widespread unrest because the filter they’re using drags down the connect time) AP via San Francisco Chronicle / Agence France-Presse
Still more on the pornography front: The Tampa jury that convicted producer Max Hardcore last week told reporters they plan to write a book on the trial
This is otherwise known as “begging an appeals court for a new trial for Max” (on the ground of conflict of interest, since it was well-known to the judge that the jurors were badly split for a couple of days before agreeing on the conviction). Tampa Tribune
The Human Condition Today
Sydney District Court just wasted about A$1m on a 66-day trial because several jurors were playing sudoku during testimony
Jury miscondict, new trial. Observers at first assumed they were merely taking notes, but then, why would they be writing vertically? Australian Associated Press via News.com.au
Couple in throes of passion knock cellphone on floor, where it auto-dials the woman’s other boyfriend
He has a temper, and it didn’t take him long to get there. Daily Telegraph (London)
British policeman accidentally shot dead during training exercise
No wonder bobbies don’t carry guns. The Times (London)
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
He invited two male friends over to watch him have sex with his advanced-stage-dementia wife, but, he said, he was confident that if she had been of sound mind, she wouldn’t have minded. Ninemsn.com
NOTW Lite
A Shawnee, Kan., man is feeling great after a nail-gun accident because a Johnson County Med-Act medic, rushing him to the hospital, pulled the nail out with a claw hammer (“It went in like that. We can pull it out like that.”) . . . . . For the exceptionally lazy Brit, a £5.75 ($11.27) rotating ice-cream cup, which is like a cone that you don’t have to lick but rather just hold out your tongue for, and the ice cream rotates on its own . . . . . Readers’ Choice: In Simsbury, Conn., they found a pipe bomb on the side of the road, stuffed into a grocery-store whole chicken . . . . . And here’s your story of the day, from Britain’s The Sun: “Baby Born with Penis on Back,” in rural China (er, no, I don't think so).
Update
That kid in Yemen who marched into the courthouse by herself to demand a divorce from her arranged, much-older husband [NOTW Daily, 4-16-2008] gets a full takeout on the front page of the Los Angeles Times this morning.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
The original Warner Bros. studio made hundreds of short cartoon features to run just before the feature film in theaters, from 1935 to 1964, and apparently every time a specific product had to be drawn for the story (that wasn’t obviously identifiable by its mere image), its brand name was “Acme,” e.g., “Acme Indestructible Steel Ball.” This guy, for some reason, decided to compile all the products into a browsable catalog.
NOTW, The Blog
The news from Weird Central is that “Colbert Report” staffers hung around for a couple of days asking teachers and administrators, on camera, where were the “wizards.” That refers to the wholly bogus news story, NOTW Daily, 5-6-2008, in which a teacher who got canned called up the press and termed the reason for his dismissal that he did a magic trick in class and that the administrators thought that made him a “wizard.” And once a version gets out on the series of tubes, it just doesn’t matter what really happened (i.e., that he was a screw-up). Yr Editor tries to protect you from things like that because for, well, almost 30 yrs, it’s been about the faith that true things are more interesting than made-up things.
Newsrangers: Sam Gaines, Bob Pert, Ann Killheffer, Gerard Zavaski, Ed Michaelson, Anthony Jeswald, Jan Wolitzky, Glen Eichenblatt
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Tuesday’s Creme de la Weird
Somebody in China is selling little bags of goldfish as (unofficial) Olympics souvenir keyrings
Daily Telegraph (London)
Makes $82k, has $54 savings, somehow can’t figure out why
They don’t make accountants like they used to. It’s not Wi-Fi waves that rot yer brain; it’s cooties from those plastic cards ya carry around, and the Debtors Anonymous groups are proliferating. Wall Street Journal
The Americanization of Japan (continued): Previously humble parents now jump up teachers’ asses
At a recent school performance of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, there were 25 Snow Whites, no dwarfs, no wicked witch. “After a relentless campaign of bullying, hectoring, and nuisance phone calls, the monster parents had cowered the teachers into submission, forcing the school to admit to the injustice of selecting just one girl to play the title role.” The Times (London)
Y’all watch out on Thursday: The House of Yahweh says nuclear world war will start then
His holiness Yisrayl Hawkins has been wrong before, though, and has lost a few of his humiliated followers around the world. On the other hand (according to the story’s Commenters), House of Yahweh conveniently sells all the survival supplies you’ll need during those dark days ahead. (Bonus: If he’s wrong again, his trial in Texas on bigamy charges [30 wives!] will start in September.) Abilene Reporter News / Wikipedia entry
Church of Sweden priest, sacked for committing adultery with a parishioner, sued the Church, gets his job back
(Bonus: In Quebec, an appeals court just affirmed an arbitrator’s 2006 decision giving a convicted murderer his job back as a public school teacher.)
TheLocal.se (Stockholm) / The Globe and Mail
South Korea’s hardcore virtual-golf obsession
It’s one thing to play, another for a society like the U.S. to devote so much grass and water to it, another to develop virtual golf so you can play indoors, and another to create “tournaments” out of virtual golf, but now . . they put those virtual tournaments on television. (Bonus: People watch!) New York Times
The lonely vigil of a lathered-up 9-11 “truth” guy
Arizona Republic
Your Daily Loser
They don’t know his name, but he left his torn-up t-shirt behind, after he tried to burglarize the house where Cromwell, the 300-lb. mastiff, lives. Daily Mail (London)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Vernon Weiske, accused of animal cruelty and domestic violence
NOTW Lite
Think your local gov’t has budget problems? A 100-yr-old school in Scotland [CORRECTION: Ireland] still uses “outside toilet facilities” . . . . . In Ontario now, porn’s on the open shelves, but cigarettes have to be kept under the counter . . . . . Inexplicable: “The head of one of [Australia’s] elite private schools has questioned whether English should be compulsory for the senior years, saying the courses being taught are beyond the intellectual ability of most students” [from The Australian].
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
Newsrangers: Tom Barker, Kate Gladstone, Stephen Taylor, Bob Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Somebody in China is selling little bags of goldfish as (unofficial) Olympics souvenir keyrings
Daily Telegraph (London)
Makes $82k, has $54 savings, somehow can’t figure out why
They don’t make accountants like they used to. It’s not Wi-Fi waves that rot yer brain; it’s cooties from those plastic cards ya carry around, and the Debtors Anonymous groups are proliferating. Wall Street Journal
The Americanization of Japan (continued): Previously humble parents now jump up teachers’ asses
At a recent school performance of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, there were 25 Snow Whites, no dwarfs, no wicked witch. “After a relentless campaign of bullying, hectoring, and nuisance phone calls, the monster parents had cowered the teachers into submission, forcing the school to admit to the injustice of selecting just one girl to play the title role.” The Times (London)
Y’all watch out on Thursday: The House of Yahweh says nuclear world war will start then
His holiness Yisrayl Hawkins has been wrong before, though, and has lost a few of his humiliated followers around the world. On the other hand (according to the story’s Commenters), House of Yahweh conveniently sells all the survival supplies you’ll need during those dark days ahead. (Bonus: If he’s wrong again, his trial in Texas on bigamy charges [30 wives!] will start in September.) Abilene Reporter News / Wikipedia entry
Church of Sweden priest, sacked for committing adultery with a parishioner, sued the Church, gets his job back
(Bonus: In Quebec, an appeals court just affirmed an arbitrator’s 2006 decision giving a convicted murderer his job back as a public school teacher.)
TheLocal.se (Stockholm) / The Globe and Mail
South Korea’s hardcore virtual-golf obsession
It’s one thing to play, another for a society like the U.S. to devote so much grass and water to it, another to develop virtual golf so you can play indoors, and another to create “tournaments” out of virtual golf, but now . . they put those virtual tournaments on television. (Bonus: People watch!) New York Times
The lonely vigil of a lathered-up 9-11 “truth” guy
Arizona Republic
Your Daily Loser
They don’t know his name, but he left his torn-up t-shirt behind, after he tried to burglarize the house where Cromwell, the 300-lb. mastiff, lives. Daily Mail (London)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Vernon Weiske, accused of animal cruelty and domestic violence
NOTW Lite
Think your local gov’t has budget problems? A 100-yr-old school in Scotland [CORRECTION: Ireland] still uses “outside toilet facilities” . . . . . In Ontario now, porn’s on the open shelves, but cigarettes have to be kept under the counter . . . . . Inexplicable: “The head of one of [Australia’s] elite private schools has questioned whether English should be compulsory for the senior years, saying the courses being taught are beyond the intellectual ability of most students” [from The Australian].
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
Newsrangers: Tom Barker, Kate Gladstone, Stephen Taylor, Bob Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Monday’s Creme de la Weird
The wrong people discover YouTube (pastors videoing customers at an “adult” lingerie shop)
The Reporter (Vacaville, Calif.)
Penalty for high school telephone prank: 8 yrs in the slammer
Two Tyler, Tex., kids called rival school and threatened to open fire on students. Tyler Morning Telegraph
British court orders up a van from another town to come take a prisoner across the street
Evidently, “perp walks” violate “human rights” in Britain since they’re so, y’know, embarrassing. A police car was available, but by law, cops were out of the loop, and courts’ wheels must be used, and the nearest court van was 60 miles away. (Seriously.) Daily Telegraph (London)
Feds throw the book at the gloriously debauched technology billionaire Nick Nicholas
25-count indictments (4 for drugs, 21 for stock manipulation) against an extremely large-living guy who smoked so much dope on his private jet that the pilot had to wear his oxygen mask. Juiciest part: He had a 2,000-sq-ft labyrinth built underneath his mansion, unknown to his wife, so he could par-tay with all the floozies he could buy. Downfall: He is so arrogant that he mistreated his personal assistant (who spilled everything). AP via Yahoo / New York Post
Horny pandas scrumming
A BBC Natural History team video’d mating in the wild, first showing males fighting each other, accompanied by “loud calls which will make viewers think instantly of the Wookie character from the Star Wars movies," wrote BBC News. Said the show’s producer, Gavin Maxwell, “I liken it to Chewbaccas in a pub brawl.” As to the act itself, “They’re really fired up, they’re breathing hard and panting, and you can see the steam coming out of their mouths. They seem like different creatures altogether.” BBC News
Tanzania’s albino crisis: medically endangered to begin with, and now hunted down for their “magical” bones and skin
Donating a little sunscreen would help them a lot because, contrary to local belief, they don’t live forever. New York Times
Mr. Artives Freeman has a fool for a client, but that’s not his big problem (it’s feces)
He argued with the judge about whether he was competent to act as his own lawyer, then showed up in court in a nice business suit, only with his own caca on his face and in his hair. Charlotte Observer
Corporate boards of directors still reluctant to make CEO’s give back their miscalculated bonuses
Said a critic, “All shareholders suffer [when a company is forced to restate earnings downward]. Therefore all executives who benefited from misstated accounts should see their incentives adjusted to reflect actual achievements. This is not the approach taken by the majority of boards, as yet.” New York Times
Texas baby “born” twice (but stuffed back in the first time)
(Seriously) Fetus had this big tumor so doctors pulled it up out of the uterus, removed the growth, crammed it back in, and 10 weeks later, voilà! CBS News
Punchline-friendly news: Japanese watermelon sells for $6,100, and it’s a black watermelon
AP via Yahoo!
Your Daily Loser
Fortunately for counterfeiter Calvin Robinson, the police caught him before he could lose any more money than he already had. Cops said Robinson needed “$90" to buy drugs and bought a color copier for $100 so he could make some fake $10's. Spokesman-Review (Spokane, Wash.)
NOTW Lite
A guilty plea in Britain on one count of animal cruelty for abandoning a pet during a household move (Bonus: the pet was Milly the rat) . . . . . If the cops are after you, ya use the weapon you have, so if you’re carrying a baby– . . . . . Added to the list of things you're not supposed to hoard in your apartment: gasoline.
And also . . .
Australia’s Education Department sent teachers letters telling them not to “shout” at students so much . . . . . A chemical plant in Belfast had a nitric acid accident, releasing plumes of N2O, but with no injuries or uncontrollable giggling . . . . . A business school in Lucknow, India, goes the “endowed professorship” thing one better: name the monkey god Hanuman head of the school . . . . . Dawn of a new day in Cuba: sex-change surgery now available (and, of course, free) . . . . . r.i.p. the homeless Kentucky man who had a rough life in more ways than one, since his name was Edward Semen.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
“Two-thirds of humanity use the squatting position to answer the call of nature. In those cultures, appendicitis, diverticulosis, hemorrhoids, colitis, prostate disorders, and colon cancer are virtually unknown.” “Recommended by doctors and yoga teachers for easier and more complete elimination.” Nature’s Platform!
Newsrangers: Tom Barker, Marlon Campbell, Mark Neunder, Sam Gaines, Matthew Taylor, Gary Davidson, Ginger Katz, Mark Svevar, Kate Gladstone, Jim Collins, Jessica McRorie, H.Thompson, John Witherspoon, Bob Pert, Karl Olson
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
The wrong people discover YouTube (pastors videoing customers at an “adult” lingerie shop)
The Reporter (Vacaville, Calif.)
Penalty for high school telephone prank: 8 yrs in the slammer
Two Tyler, Tex., kids called rival school and threatened to open fire on students. Tyler Morning Telegraph
British court orders up a van from another town to come take a prisoner across the street
Evidently, “perp walks” violate “human rights” in Britain since they’re so, y’know, embarrassing. A police car was available, but by law, cops were out of the loop, and courts’ wheels must be used, and the nearest court van was 60 miles away. (Seriously.) Daily Telegraph (London)
Feds throw the book at the gloriously debauched technology billionaire Nick Nicholas
25-count indictments (4 for drugs, 21 for stock manipulation) against an extremely large-living guy who smoked so much dope on his private jet that the pilot had to wear his oxygen mask. Juiciest part: He had a 2,000-sq-ft labyrinth built underneath his mansion, unknown to his wife, so he could par-tay with all the floozies he could buy. Downfall: He is so arrogant that he mistreated his personal assistant (who spilled everything). AP via Yahoo / New York Post
Horny pandas scrumming
A BBC Natural History team video’d mating in the wild, first showing males fighting each other, accompanied by “loud calls which will make viewers think instantly of the Wookie character from the Star Wars movies," wrote BBC News. Said the show’s producer, Gavin Maxwell, “I liken it to Chewbaccas in a pub brawl.” As to the act itself, “They’re really fired up, they’re breathing hard and panting, and you can see the steam coming out of their mouths. They seem like different creatures altogether.” BBC News
Tanzania’s albino crisis: medically endangered to begin with, and now hunted down for their “magical” bones and skin
Donating a little sunscreen would help them a lot because, contrary to local belief, they don’t live forever. New York Times
Mr. Artives Freeman has a fool for a client, but that’s not his big problem (it’s feces)
He argued with the judge about whether he was competent to act as his own lawyer, then showed up in court in a nice business suit, only with his own caca on his face and in his hair. Charlotte Observer
Corporate boards of directors still reluctant to make CEO’s give back their miscalculated bonuses
Said a critic, “All shareholders suffer [when a company is forced to restate earnings downward]. Therefore all executives who benefited from misstated accounts should see their incentives adjusted to reflect actual achievements. This is not the approach taken by the majority of boards, as yet.” New York Times
Texas baby “born” twice (but stuffed back in the first time)
(Seriously) Fetus had this big tumor so doctors pulled it up out of the uterus, removed the growth, crammed it back in, and 10 weeks later, voilà! CBS News
Punchline-friendly news: Japanese watermelon sells for $6,100, and it’s a black watermelon
AP via Yahoo!
Your Daily Loser
Fortunately for counterfeiter Calvin Robinson, the police caught him before he could lose any more money than he already had. Cops said Robinson needed “$90" to buy drugs and bought a color copier for $100 so he could make some fake $10's. Spokesman-Review (Spokane, Wash.)
NOTW Lite
A guilty plea in Britain on one count of animal cruelty for abandoning a pet during a household move (Bonus: the pet was Milly the rat) . . . . . If the cops are after you, ya use the weapon you have, so if you’re carrying a baby– . . . . . Added to the list of things you're not supposed to hoard in your apartment: gasoline.
And also . . .
Australia’s Education Department sent teachers letters telling them not to “shout” at students so much . . . . . A chemical plant in Belfast had a nitric acid accident, releasing plumes of N2O, but with no injuries or uncontrollable giggling . . . . . A business school in Lucknow, India, goes the “endowed professorship” thing one better: name the monkey god Hanuman head of the school . . . . . Dawn of a new day in Cuba: sex-change surgery now available (and, of course, free) . . . . . r.i.p. the homeless Kentucky man who had a rough life in more ways than one, since his name was Edward Semen.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
“Two-thirds of humanity use the squatting position to answer the call of nature. In those cultures, appendicitis, diverticulosis, hemorrhoids, colitis, prostate disorders, and colon cancer are virtually unknown.” “Recommended by doctors and yoga teachers for easier and more complete elimination.” Nature’s Platform!
Newsrangers: Tom Barker, Marlon Campbell, Mark Neunder, Sam Gaines, Matthew Taylor, Gary Davidson, Ginger Katz, Mark Svevar, Kate Gladstone, Jim Collins, Jessica McRorie, H.Thompson, John Witherspoon, Bob Pert, Karl Olson
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Friday’s Creme de la Weird
Atlanta-area teacher threatens to rip student’s eyeballs out, pee on him
Well, he’s been under stress. There might be video of it eventually, as the cell phone cameras came out in class. (Bonus: Teacher’s father is a state legislator) Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Church sued for failing to catch a man who was falling after being overcome by the spirit
The minister reportedly only “lightly touched” the man’s forehead so maybe the church catchers didn’t expect the spirit to get in so easily. TheSmokingGun.com
Nashville City Commissioners duke it out
“Well you go ahead, fat mouth, and say something.” “Well now, I think I will–“ [pow pow pow] “Stupid son of a bitch.” NashvilleIsTalking.com (WKRN-TV)
Winner of $80 million contract to supply jet fuel to U.S. Afghan base: a Saudi financier under U.S. indictment
ABC News
New Zealand researchers have ID’d the flatulence gene in sheep and believe they can vaccinate against it
90 percent of its methane comes from livestock (vs. about 2 percent in the U.S.) Daily Telegraph (London)
The Human Condition Today
California woman set fires in gas station rest rooms to protest prices at the pump
“I wanted to take a stand,” she said. Contra Costa Times
Prominent British radio personality officially died of a drug overdose, the coroner said
It was not relevant that his body was “in a leather sling attached to scaffolding in the bedroom of the flat occupied by his boyfriend . . . still wearing a rubber suit and [with] cling film and ‘gaffer tape’ around him” BBC News
F State TV station reports uncritically on the Jacksonville man who says he runs his car on water
You can watch WJXX-TV’s report. Yr Editor knows for sure that Florida high schools once taught physics, but inventor Anthony Brown says, basically, the Lord taught him all he needs to know about thermodynamics. WJXX-TV
Your Daily Loser
Baby-sitter Joanne DeLoach needed to get out of the house to go celebrate her 47th birthday, and that’s why she kept feeding her 9-yr-old granddaughter the gin, so the kid’d get to sleep. Star Tribune (Minneapolis)
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
EMT workers in Lebanon, Pa., had to rescue Mr. Shannon Miller, 31, from the porta-potty out behind Harold’s Furniture, where he had gotten wedged in the hole. He said it was an innocent accident, that he had to use the toilet and just fell in. But, said the deputy fire commissioner, “When I asked him why he was naked, he just shrugged his shoulders.” Lebanon Daily News
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
I ask you: Does Brian Furer look like the kind of guy who would try to buy a gallon of date rape drug? KCNC-TV (Denver)
NOTW Lite
A nursing home in Dusseldorf reported success curbing runaway Alzheimer’s patients by putting a realistic, fake bus stop out front, attracting wanderers to await the next bus home, which of course never comes, but the patients never remember how long they’ve been waiting . . . . . Now China’s trying a mass-education campaign to teach a standardized cheer to use at the Olympics (Bonus: Apparently, the sorta “Let’s go!” cheer in China is “Add oil!”) . . . . . Best quote out of context: “Personally, it was upsetting to see all of our hard work turn into a huge penis” [OK, it was a high school senior prank, arranging chairs to spell “2008,” but then another group of pranksters rearranged that arrangement] . . . . . Khalid Sheikh Mohammed made two demands at his trial this week: (1) the death penalty, so he could be a martyr and (2) that the courtroom sketch artist make his nose narrower to more resemble his FBI portrait.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe Monday.™
Newsrangers: Tom Sullivan, Joe Littrell, Sasha Gorichky
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Atlanta-area teacher threatens to rip student’s eyeballs out, pee on him
Well, he’s been under stress. There might be video of it eventually, as the cell phone cameras came out in class. (Bonus: Teacher’s father is a state legislator) Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Church sued for failing to catch a man who was falling after being overcome by the spirit
The minister reportedly only “lightly touched” the man’s forehead so maybe the church catchers didn’t expect the spirit to get in so easily. TheSmokingGun.com
Nashville City Commissioners duke it out
“Well you go ahead, fat mouth, and say something.” “Well now, I think I will–“ [pow pow pow] “Stupid son of a bitch.” NashvilleIsTalking.com (WKRN-TV)
Winner of $80 million contract to supply jet fuel to U.S. Afghan base: a Saudi financier under U.S. indictment
ABC News
New Zealand researchers have ID’d the flatulence gene in sheep and believe they can vaccinate against it
90 percent of its methane comes from livestock (vs. about 2 percent in the U.S.) Daily Telegraph (London)
The Human Condition Today
California woman set fires in gas station rest rooms to protest prices at the pump
“I wanted to take a stand,” she said. Contra Costa Times
Prominent British radio personality officially died of a drug overdose, the coroner said
It was not relevant that his body was “in a leather sling attached to scaffolding in the bedroom of the flat occupied by his boyfriend . . . still wearing a rubber suit and [with] cling film and ‘gaffer tape’ around him” BBC News
F State TV station reports uncritically on the Jacksonville man who says he runs his car on water
You can watch WJXX-TV’s report. Yr Editor knows for sure that Florida high schools once taught physics, but inventor Anthony Brown says, basically, the Lord taught him all he needs to know about thermodynamics. WJXX-TV
Your Daily Loser
Baby-sitter Joanne DeLoach needed to get out of the house to go celebrate her 47th birthday, and that’s why she kept feeding her 9-yr-old granddaughter the gin, so the kid’d get to sleep. Star Tribune (Minneapolis)
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
EMT workers in Lebanon, Pa., had to rescue Mr. Shannon Miller, 31, from the porta-potty out behind Harold’s Furniture, where he had gotten wedged in the hole. He said it was an innocent accident, that he had to use the toilet and just fell in. But, said the deputy fire commissioner, “When I asked him why he was naked, he just shrugged his shoulders.” Lebanon Daily News
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
I ask you: Does Brian Furer look like the kind of guy who would try to buy a gallon of date rape drug? KCNC-TV (Denver)
NOTW Lite
A nursing home in Dusseldorf reported success curbing runaway Alzheimer’s patients by putting a realistic, fake bus stop out front, attracting wanderers to await the next bus home, which of course never comes, but the patients never remember how long they’ve been waiting . . . . . Now China’s trying a mass-education campaign to teach a standardized cheer to use at the Olympics (Bonus: Apparently, the sorta “Let’s go!” cheer in China is “Add oil!”) . . . . . Best quote out of context: “Personally, it was upsetting to see all of our hard work turn into a huge penis” [OK, it was a high school senior prank, arranging chairs to spell “2008,” but then another group of pranksters rearranged that arrangement] . . . . . Khalid Sheikh Mohammed made two demands at his trial this week: (1) the death penalty, so he could be a martyr and (2) that the courtroom sketch artist make his nose narrower to more resemble his FBI portrait.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe Monday.™
Newsrangers: Tom Sullivan, Joe Littrell, Sasha Gorichky
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Thursday’s Creme de la Weird
An estate-disposition service for the en-Raptured heaven-bound
What will happen to your house and bank accounts? How can your sinner friends know what happened to you? Sign up ($40/yr); this company will detect when the Rapture has occurred and send out your farewell message to your e-mail list (up to 62 of your closest heathen pals and relatives) and your encrypted financial data to up to 12 of the un-chosen of your choice. It’s up to you; if you don’t prepare, Lord knows what'll happen to your stuff, what with the Antichrist's bureaucracy and all. Threat Level blog / www.YouveBeenLeftBehind.com/
The menu at U.N. conference on world hunger this week in Rome
(e.g., lemon mousse with raspberry sauce, parmesan risotto, pasta with pumpkin, “pretty standard stuff,” said a UN spokesman) Washington Post
Lawsuit against Texas justice of the peace who ordered girl paddled in court
Hon. Gustavo Garza of Brownsville gave dad a 2x4 and said to smack the truant kid on the butt, in court, or he’d convict her. Associated Press via Yahoo
State senator arrested but then gave his name as that of another legislator
Massachusetts Sen. J. James Marzilli Jr. was arrested for trying to grope a woman on a park bench in Lowell but then told cops he was state Rep. Martin Walsh of Dorchester. (A few minutes later, though, he came clean and started to cry.) (Walsh: WTF?) Boston Globe
Your Daily Loser
Marya Green, 29, pulled over for DUI in a Cincinnati suburb, denied she was the one driving, having turned the wheel over to her underage son. (OK, we’ve seen that kinda thing before, several times, but Green’s son is, er, 1 yr old and was sitting in her lap in the driver’s seat at the time.) WLWT-TV (Cincinnati)
NOTW Lite
Swiss researchers found that stupid flies actually live longer than smart flies . . . . . “Child-Friendly Sex Shop to Open in NYC,” reports WCBS-TV (but I think they mean real-small children).
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
Newsrangers: Scott Langill, Bob Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
An estate-disposition service for the en-Raptured heaven-bound
What will happen to your house and bank accounts? How can your sinner friends know what happened to you? Sign up ($40/yr); this company will detect when the Rapture has occurred and send out your farewell message to your e-mail list (up to 62 of your closest heathen pals and relatives) and your encrypted financial data to up to 12 of the un-chosen of your choice. It’s up to you; if you don’t prepare, Lord knows what'll happen to your stuff, what with the Antichrist's bureaucracy and all. Threat Level blog / www.YouveBeenLeftBehind.com/
The menu at U.N. conference on world hunger this week in Rome
(e.g., lemon mousse with raspberry sauce, parmesan risotto, pasta with pumpkin, “pretty standard stuff,” said a UN spokesman) Washington Post
Lawsuit against Texas justice of the peace who ordered girl paddled in court
Hon. Gustavo Garza of Brownsville gave dad a 2x4 and said to smack the truant kid on the butt, in court, or he’d convict her. Associated Press via Yahoo
State senator arrested but then gave his name as that of another legislator
Massachusetts Sen. J. James Marzilli Jr. was arrested for trying to grope a woman on a park bench in Lowell but then told cops he was state Rep. Martin Walsh of Dorchester. (A few minutes later, though, he came clean and started to cry.) (Walsh: WTF?) Boston Globe
Your Daily Loser
Marya Green, 29, pulled over for DUI in a Cincinnati suburb, denied she was the one driving, having turned the wheel over to her underage son. (OK, we’ve seen that kinda thing before, several times, but Green’s son is, er, 1 yr old and was sitting in her lap in the driver’s seat at the time.) WLWT-TV (Cincinnati)
NOTW Lite
Swiss researchers found that stupid flies actually live longer than smart flies . . . . . “Child-Friendly Sex Shop to Open in NYC,” reports WCBS-TV (but I think they mean real-small children).
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
Newsrangers: Scott Langill, Bob Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Wednesday’s Creme de la Weird
NAFTA’s Working! Product launches in Mexico include bulletproof fashions, euthanasia drug
An upscale Colombian designer, specializing in Kevlar, opened a swanky shop in Mexico City because that’s where the violence is these days. And the vets’ choice for putting dogs and cats to sleep (Nembutal) isn’t too tightly regulated in Mexico, leading to a thriving market for seniors wanting to take The Only Way Out. Nat'l Public Radio / Reuters
OK to breed with your first cousin after all, says Australian researcher
Perth Sunday Times
Tight labor market in India: Man paid a hitman to kill his dad so he could get his job
Dad was one day from retirement, but if he had died “on the job” instead of having formally retired, the son thought the gov’t would have let him sorta inherit the position. Reuters
The Human Condition Today
To celebrate the Olympics, Chinese guy stuck 2,008 brightly-colored pins in his body
Daily Telegraph (London)
F-State kid needed fire rescue workers after he got stuck in a hole . . in a tree
St. Petersburg Times
Drunk driver crashes into bicycle race
with spectacular photo of all-hell breaking loose. AP via CNN
Your Daily Loser
Incompetent mooner flashed against restaurant window, broke it, sliced ass
AP via Star Tribune (Minneapolis)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Raymond Marston, “suspected” rapist
St. Petersburg Times
And Also . . .
At long last, another I-spilled-my-coffee lawsuit . . . . . Can’t fly out of Heathrow if you’re wearing a t-shirt with a drawing of a gun on it . . . . . Canton, Ohio, city council approved jail time for residents with shaggy lawns . . . . . Good news: The painful lump was not a tumor, after all (just a surgical towel they left in 25 yrs ago) . . . . . A raid on a Brazilian prison spoiled the good life of inmate Genilson Lins da Silva, who'll lose his TV, fridge, guns, and $173k in cash.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Soft-sell: To encourage pre-orders of a new Japanese computer game, the makers of Married Women Harem’s new in-store display consists of, uh, a huge, partially-bodice-covered pair of silicone-filled breasts, encouraging potential customers to feel ‘em up all they want [WARNING: Not Safe for Work™]
WeirdAsiaNews.com
Newsrangers: David Weiss, Phil Daley, Steve Miller, Paul Music, Erica Whitaker, Bob Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
NAFTA’s Working! Product launches in Mexico include bulletproof fashions, euthanasia drug
An upscale Colombian designer, specializing in Kevlar, opened a swanky shop in Mexico City because that’s where the violence is these days. And the vets’ choice for putting dogs and cats to sleep (Nembutal) isn’t too tightly regulated in Mexico, leading to a thriving market for seniors wanting to take The Only Way Out. Nat'l Public Radio / Reuters
OK to breed with your first cousin after all, says Australian researcher
Perth Sunday Times
Tight labor market in India: Man paid a hitman to kill his dad so he could get his job
Dad was one day from retirement, but if he had died “on the job” instead of having formally retired, the son thought the gov’t would have let him sorta inherit the position. Reuters
The Human Condition Today
To celebrate the Olympics, Chinese guy stuck 2,008 brightly-colored pins in his body
Daily Telegraph (London)
F-State kid needed fire rescue workers after he got stuck in a hole . . in a tree
St. Petersburg Times
Drunk driver crashes into bicycle race
with spectacular photo of all-hell breaking loose. AP via CNN
Your Daily Loser
Incompetent mooner flashed against restaurant window, broke it, sliced ass
AP via Star Tribune (Minneapolis)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Raymond Marston, “suspected” rapist
St. Petersburg Times
And Also . . .
At long last, another I-spilled-my-coffee lawsuit . . . . . Can’t fly out of Heathrow if you’re wearing a t-shirt with a drawing of a gun on it . . . . . Canton, Ohio, city council approved jail time for residents with shaggy lawns . . . . . Good news: The painful lump was not a tumor, after all (just a surgical towel they left in 25 yrs ago) . . . . . A raid on a Brazilian prison spoiled the good life of inmate Genilson Lins da Silva, who'll lose his TV, fridge, guns, and $173k in cash.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Soft-sell: To encourage pre-orders of a new Japanese computer game, the makers of Married Women Harem’s new in-store display consists of, uh, a huge, partially-bodice-covered pair of silicone-filled breasts, encouraging potential customers to feel ‘em up all they want [WARNING: Not Safe for Work™]
WeirdAsiaNews.com
Newsrangers: David Weiss, Phil Daley, Steve Miller, Paul Music, Erica Whitaker, Bob Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Tuesday’s Creme de la Weird
Articulate autism-afflicted people join the civil-rights movement, insist autism is just a cool “atypical brain function”
Remember when “handicapped” and “crippled” went out of style? Two euphemisms that didn’t catch on were “handicapable” and “differently-abled.” Well, they’re back. If you don’t have autism, you’re just a “neurotypical,” and what society needs to encourage is “neurodiversity.” Most doctors say, uh, No. By celebrating the charming brain function of a few gifted autistics, society would under-assist the vast majority, who need deeply serious help. New York magazine
Fort Benning has the bright idea to house its war-addled Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder patients just down the street from its 24-hour infantry firing range
Washington Post
Hoax author “JT LeRoy” highly offended that her “JTLeRoy” stand-in is getting credit for the hoax
I mean, how low can you go? I’m the real deceiver, she said. I deserve the respect. New York Post
"Brad Pitt to Help Design Hotel in Dubai"
Reuters
Your Daily Loser
The surveillance video of the Fifth Third Bank in Orlando seems to show that the robber is pointing the gun at himself. Said a detective, “[He] is holding it in a manner that [suggests] he’s probably not familiar with handguns and was afraid it was going to go off.”
WKMG-TV (Orlando)
NOTW Lite
Yesterday: baby oil to make show-off muscles glisten; today: er, Preparation H, to tighten love-handle skin . . . . . Lawyer Mike Roman had to be ejected from the gallery of the R.Kelly trial in Chicago because he kept bothering the defendant to please take his demo tape (for his group “Mike Roman and the Telstars”) . . . . . Apparently ya need lots of clothes to be a nude dancer because, in Annapolis, Md.: “Strippers Cancel Show After [Wardrobe] Van Stolen” . . . . . The Church of England’s Bishop of Stafford said people who don’t take global warming seriously are not much better human beings than that Austrian guy who imprisoned the teenager and kept her for 24 years . . . . . A woman in Utah was in her car when the battery died, and she didn’t know how to manually unlock the door; police arrived but had to call her on her cell phone to tell her where the lock was . . . . . And for your viewing pleasure, Here she is, Your ideal . . uh, most beautiful transvestite in Thailand, Ms./Mr. Kangsadarn Wongdusadeekul.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
A collection of x-rays (with descriptions) of unusual penetrating brain injuries (y’know, nail-gun nails, drill holes).
Newsrangers: Joe Littrell, Karl Olson
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Articulate autism-afflicted people join the civil-rights movement, insist autism is just a cool “atypical brain function”
Remember when “handicapped” and “crippled” went out of style? Two euphemisms that didn’t catch on were “handicapable” and “differently-abled.” Well, they’re back. If you don’t have autism, you’re just a “neurotypical,” and what society needs to encourage is “neurodiversity.” Most doctors say, uh, No. By celebrating the charming brain function of a few gifted autistics, society would under-assist the vast majority, who need deeply serious help. New York magazine
Fort Benning has the bright idea to house its war-addled Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder patients just down the street from its 24-hour infantry firing range
Washington Post
Hoax author “JT LeRoy” highly offended that her “JTLeRoy” stand-in is getting credit for the hoax
I mean, how low can you go? I’m the real deceiver, she said. I deserve the respect. New York Post
"Brad Pitt to Help Design Hotel in Dubai"
Reuters
Your Daily Loser
The surveillance video of the Fifth Third Bank in Orlando seems to show that the robber is pointing the gun at himself. Said a detective, “[He] is holding it in a manner that [suggests] he’s probably not familiar with handguns and was afraid it was going to go off.”
WKMG-TV (Orlando)
NOTW Lite
Yesterday: baby oil to make show-off muscles glisten; today: er, Preparation H, to tighten love-handle skin . . . . . Lawyer Mike Roman had to be ejected from the gallery of the R.Kelly trial in Chicago because he kept bothering the defendant to please take his demo tape (for his group “Mike Roman and the Telstars”) . . . . . Apparently ya need lots of clothes to be a nude dancer because, in Annapolis, Md.: “Strippers Cancel Show After [Wardrobe] Van Stolen” . . . . . The Church of England’s Bishop of Stafford said people who don’t take global warming seriously are not much better human beings than that Austrian guy who imprisoned the teenager and kept her for 24 years . . . . . A woman in Utah was in her car when the battery died, and she didn’t know how to manually unlock the door; police arrived but had to call her on her cell phone to tell her where the lock was . . . . . And for your viewing pleasure, Here she is, Your ideal . . uh, most beautiful transvestite in Thailand, Ms./Mr. Kangsadarn Wongdusadeekul.
Professor Music’s Weird Links
A collection of x-rays (with descriptions) of unusual penetrating brain injuries (y’know, nail-gun nails, drill holes).
Newsrangers: Joe Littrell, Karl Olson
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Monday’s Creme de la Weird
A judge in Lille, France, recently annulled a Muslim marriage on complaint of the husband because there was no, er, blood on the sheet
When the multicultural French found out, the merde hit the fan. The Times (London)
At Naperville (Ill.) Central High, the principal and the valedictorian plagiarized their commencement speeches
The class of ‘08 will have quite a legacy. The principal’s been suspended, and the kid’s speech has been expunged from the graduation video. Naperville Sun
An Iowa City man arrested with a big stash of marijuana told police he was only saving it up for compost
Associated Press via Yahoo
In Corvallis, Ore., a black guy set up a “Meet a Black Guy” booth at the farmers’ market
“[Corvallis] is not a very diverse place,” he said. Corvallis Gazette-Times
Fake doctor in Atlanta was really, really into it
He gratuitously told his new bride that he was “going back” to practicing medicine; she dropped him off at the hospital every day; he called her frequently to tell how things were going in the ol’ ER. Then one day he didn’t call (having been arrested for impersonating a doctor). Still, during three jailhouse visits, his wife said he’s still insisting he’s a doctor and needs to get back to work. WSB-TV (Atlanta)
Readers’ Choice
In Fukuoka, Japan, a woman had been secretly living for months inside a man’s closet (and in a cubby hole in the closet!), and his only clue was missing food . . . . . Police trying to catch the gas-station robbers in Arvada, Colo., released the surveillance video, so if you see two guys walking down the street wearing women’s thong panties over their faces . . .
Your Daily Loser
Two guys stole a Pepsi machine from a liquor store in Hughes, Ark. (pop. 1,800) and wheeled it down the street on a handtruck whose tracks led right to their front yard, where they had left the machine in plain sight after getting it home. Associated Press via Yahoo
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Fire rescue crews probably know how to get rings off fingers, but these guys near Sydney, Australia, called surgeons for this job, which was removing 16 washers from a penis. It took doctors at Hornsby Hospital 90 minutes (Bonus: File photo of "washers" makes it look much more painful than it probably was). Daily Telegraph (Sydney)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
A two-bagger: Guilty or innocent? Man or woman? The name won’t help you (Robin Forbes, 58). Charged in the F State with modest but inexplicable perversion. WKMG-TV (Orlando)
That’s Messed Up
The Los Angeles Times reported that UCLA Medical Center had given liver transplants to 4 Japanese yakuza gang bosses during the years 2000-2004, when several hundred locals died waiting for livers . . . . . The U.S. Capitol Police (and also the U.S. Park Police guarding the D.C. monuments) claimed that their Reagan-era radios are unreliable and frequently can’t reach D.C. police but that it’s too expensive to replace the system (but it’s not too expensive, if you recall from last week, for Homeland Security to spend big bucks training casino shuttle drivers in Colorado to, y'know, watch out for terrorists [NOTW Daily, 5-27-2008]) . . . . . Photos of an actual primitive indigenous people in Brazil! Er, photos of them pointing their arrows up at the circling airplane (photos released by an anti-development organization trying to save the rain forest tribes).
NOTW Lite
Al-Qaeda’s number two, Al-Zawahiri, patiently doing a Q-and-A in an audio recording, explained that women’s jihadist role is just to take care of the family, which didn’t sit well with some women warrior wannabes (Yr Editor notes that al-Q lets them be suicide bombers; jeez, what else do they want?) . . . . . An estimated 100,000 people in Frawnts have taken up line-dancing; a French Dance Federation spokesman said he thinks it’s because it involves no physical contact at all (i.e., the French feel they’re too good to touch even the French) (Bonus: The French want to regulate it!).
And also . . .
A power outage in Wales was attributed to cows knocking over a pylon because they leaned too hard against it trying to scratch themselves . . . . . And a sewer outage in Pownal, Vt., was attributed to a pair of panties clogging a pump . . . . . Zero Tolerance: (1) Five-day school suspension for a kid playing with an empty shell casing from blanks fired at a town celebration; (2) Remove that 2-inch-long Colt.-45 charm and repack it in your checked baggage if you want to fly today . . . . . r.i.p. Fredric Baur, designer of the Pringles can, whose wish was granted, that part of him be buried in a Pringles can.
Update
Jeff Peckman showed the irrefutable-proof alien video to the press at the Tivoli Student Union in Denver [NOTW Daily, 5-30-2008] on Friday, supposedly from a bedroom surveillance camera in rural Nebraska in 2003, set up to catch a peeping tom but revealing a head that looks about like they say alien heads look. This is part of Peckman’s campaign to have local gov’t get an emergency-response plan for alien landings. Peckman is 54 and lives with his parents. Rocky Mountain News (LINK CORRECTED)
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
Newsrangers: Mark Neunder, Bob Pert, Tom Barker, Larry Ellis Reed, Ian Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
A judge in Lille, France, recently annulled a Muslim marriage on complaint of the husband because there was no, er, blood on the sheet
When the multicultural French found out, the merde hit the fan. The Times (London)
At Naperville (Ill.) Central High, the principal and the valedictorian plagiarized their commencement speeches
The class of ‘08 will have quite a legacy. The principal’s been suspended, and the kid’s speech has been expunged from the graduation video. Naperville Sun
An Iowa City man arrested with a big stash of marijuana told police he was only saving it up for compost
Associated Press via Yahoo
In Corvallis, Ore., a black guy set up a “Meet a Black Guy” booth at the farmers’ market
“[Corvallis] is not a very diverse place,” he said. Corvallis Gazette-Times
Fake doctor in Atlanta was really, really into it
He gratuitously told his new bride that he was “going back” to practicing medicine; she dropped him off at the hospital every day; he called her frequently to tell how things were going in the ol’ ER. Then one day he didn’t call (having been arrested for impersonating a doctor). Still, during three jailhouse visits, his wife said he’s still insisting he’s a doctor and needs to get back to work. WSB-TV (Atlanta)
Readers’ Choice
In Fukuoka, Japan, a woman had been secretly living for months inside a man’s closet (and in a cubby hole in the closet!), and his only clue was missing food . . . . . Police trying to catch the gas-station robbers in Arvada, Colo., released the surveillance video, so if you see two guys walking down the street wearing women’s thong panties over their faces . . .
Your Daily Loser
Two guys stole a Pepsi machine from a liquor store in Hughes, Ark. (pop. 1,800) and wheeled it down the street on a handtruck whose tracks led right to their front yard, where they had left the machine in plain sight after getting it home. Associated Press via Yahoo
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
Fire rescue crews probably know how to get rings off fingers, but these guys near Sydney, Australia, called surgeons for this job, which was removing 16 washers from a penis. It took doctors at Hornsby Hospital 90 minutes (Bonus: File photo of "washers" makes it look much more painful than it probably was). Daily Telegraph (Sydney)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
A two-bagger: Guilty or innocent? Man or woman? The name won’t help you (Robin Forbes, 58). Charged in the F State with modest but inexplicable perversion. WKMG-TV (Orlando)
That’s Messed Up
The Los Angeles Times reported that UCLA Medical Center had given liver transplants to 4 Japanese yakuza gang bosses during the years 2000-2004, when several hundred locals died waiting for livers . . . . . The U.S. Capitol Police (and also the U.S. Park Police guarding the D.C. monuments) claimed that their Reagan-era radios are unreliable and frequently can’t reach D.C. police but that it’s too expensive to replace the system (but it’s not too expensive, if you recall from last week, for Homeland Security to spend big bucks training casino shuttle drivers in Colorado to, y'know, watch out for terrorists [NOTW Daily, 5-27-2008]) . . . . . Photos of an actual primitive indigenous people in Brazil! Er, photos of them pointing their arrows up at the circling airplane (photos released by an anti-development organization trying to save the rain forest tribes).
NOTW Lite
Al-Qaeda’s number two, Al-Zawahiri, patiently doing a Q-and-A in an audio recording, explained that women’s jihadist role is just to take care of the family, which didn’t sit well with some women warrior wannabes (Yr Editor notes that al-Q lets them be suicide bombers; jeez, what else do they want?) . . . . . An estimated 100,000 people in Frawnts have taken up line-dancing; a French Dance Federation spokesman said he thinks it’s because it involves no physical contact at all (i.e., the French feel they’re too good to touch even the French) (Bonus: The French want to regulate it!).
And also . . .
A power outage in Wales was attributed to cows knocking over a pylon because they leaned too hard against it trying to scratch themselves . . . . . And a sewer outage in Pownal, Vt., was attributed to a pair of panties clogging a pump . . . . . Zero Tolerance: (1) Five-day school suspension for a kid playing with an empty shell casing from blanks fired at a town celebration; (2) Remove that 2-inch-long Colt.-45 charm and repack it in your checked baggage if you want to fly today . . . . . r.i.p. Fredric Baur, designer of the Pringles can, whose wish was granted, that part of him be buried in a Pringles can.
Update
Jeff Peckman showed the irrefutable-proof alien video to the press at the Tivoli Student Union in Denver [NOTW Daily, 5-30-2008] on Friday, supposedly from a bedroom surveillance camera in rural Nebraska in 2003, set up to catch a peeping tom but revealing a head that looks about like they say alien heads look. This is part of Peckman’s campaign to have local gov’t get an emergency-response plan for alien landings. Peckman is 54 and lives with his parents. Rocky Mountain News (LINK CORRECTED)
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
Newsrangers: Mark Neunder, Bob Pert, Tom Barker, Larry Ellis Reed, Ian Pert
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Friday’s Creme de la Weird
Update: Colorado UFO activist promises video of an actual ET today
“It shows an extraterrestrial’s head popping up outside of a window at night, looking in the window, that’s visible through an infrared camera.” The authenticity of the video, he says, has been vouched for by an “instructor” at the Colorado Film School in Denver. (This activist is the guy noted in NOTW Daily, 5-3-2008, who’s mighty worried that Coloradoans have no disaster plan for alien landings.) Rocky Mountain News
Peru guards its guano as demand soars again [NY Times hed]
Twenty islands off the coast are environmentally-ideal toilets for seabirds, with guano a foot high in places (though in the 19th century, it was 150 feet high), and with world prices up for organic fertilizer, a gold rush is on (well, $500 a ton, but Peru seems to be excited about that). New York Times
Skirmishes break out in India as lower-class Gujjars complain that they’re overrated
Ashamed of its caste system, India has set up super-affirmative action, and the Gujjars have taken to the streets in several cities to demand that they be downgraded to a level with even better benefits. Reuters
Civilization in Decline
F State renews the driver’s license of Lillian Cox, 101
She’s been driving since, er, 1915. WKMG-TV (Orlando)
U.S. war dead now includes 12 soldiers electrocuted, some long after Pentagon was warned of the problem
Once again, Kellogg Brown Root is involved, in shoddy electrical grounding by its subcontractors, but it pointed out that its contract doesn’t cover “repair” and that it long ago reported the problem to the Pentagon, which dropped the ball. CNN
The Human Condition Today
Girlfriend from hell, on trial in New Hampshire
He stayed with her for 6 yrs even though she constantly beat him up, sometimes publicly, so maybe, y’know, the sex was great, and at least she didn’t kill him like she’s charged with doing to 2 other guys. Boston Globe
Fists and hair-pulling . . . at the small-town Maine historical society meeting
Bangor Daily News
School teacher said she had no idea her honor-student son was doing that to her two dogs
South Florida Sun-Sentinel
Your Daily Loser
Randall Popkes, 41, and his son Joshua Williams, 22, were charged with burglary at a country club, even though they made off only with shoes and tennis rackets. They had spent most of their time trying, without success, to saw open the safe. They left this note behind: “[expletive deleted] you and your safe.” Des Moines Register
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Dwight Pannell, 43, was charged with a few counts of something or other after a student at a Univ. of Cincinnati library said Pannell had spritzed a liquid on her foot while he was crouched under a table and then photographed it. [Yr Editor guesses it was a bodily fluid, but they don’t know yet] Cincinnati Enquirer
NOTW Lite
Researchers found a tiny waterborne organism that hasn’t had sex in 40m yrs but survives by stealing DNA from, well, anything that moves . . . . . Recurring Theme: The only clever criminals are indeed drug smugglers, as in this finely-detailed statue of Jesus molded out of cocaine paste (but ya can’t fool those dogs) . . . . . Cause or effect? A man who lives across the street from a high school was caught on the grounds with a Taser, having earlier threatened students on his MySpace page, and, by the way, he was wearing a dress and said he needed help with “gender issues.”
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe Monday.™
Newsrangers: Ginger Katz, Dan Bohlen, Cindy Hildebrand, Jim Pross, Zach Chaney, Sam Varshavchik
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Update: Colorado UFO activist promises video of an actual ET today
“It shows an extraterrestrial’s head popping up outside of a window at night, looking in the window, that’s visible through an infrared camera.” The authenticity of the video, he says, has been vouched for by an “instructor” at the Colorado Film School in Denver. (This activist is the guy noted in NOTW Daily, 5-3-2008, who’s mighty worried that Coloradoans have no disaster plan for alien landings.) Rocky Mountain News
Peru guards its guano as demand soars again [NY Times hed]
Twenty islands off the coast are environmentally-ideal toilets for seabirds, with guano a foot high in places (though in the 19th century, it was 150 feet high), and with world prices up for organic fertilizer, a gold rush is on (well, $500 a ton, but Peru seems to be excited about that). New York Times
Skirmishes break out in India as lower-class Gujjars complain that they’re overrated
Ashamed of its caste system, India has set up super-affirmative action, and the Gujjars have taken to the streets in several cities to demand that they be downgraded to a level with even better benefits. Reuters
Civilization in Decline
F State renews the driver’s license of Lillian Cox, 101
She’s been driving since, er, 1915. WKMG-TV (Orlando)
U.S. war dead now includes 12 soldiers electrocuted, some long after Pentagon was warned of the problem
Once again, Kellogg Brown Root is involved, in shoddy electrical grounding by its subcontractors, but it pointed out that its contract doesn’t cover “repair” and that it long ago reported the problem to the Pentagon, which dropped the ball. CNN
The Human Condition Today
Girlfriend from hell, on trial in New Hampshire
He stayed with her for 6 yrs even though she constantly beat him up, sometimes publicly, so maybe, y’know, the sex was great, and at least she didn’t kill him like she’s charged with doing to 2 other guys. Boston Globe
Fists and hair-pulling . . . at the small-town Maine historical society meeting
Bangor Daily News
School teacher said she had no idea her honor-student son was doing that to her two dogs
South Florida Sun-Sentinel
Your Daily Loser
Randall Popkes, 41, and his son Joshua Williams, 22, were charged with burglary at a country club, even though they made off only with shoes and tennis rackets. They had spent most of their time trying, without success, to saw open the safe. They left this note behind: “[expletive deleted] you and your safe.” Des Moines Register
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Dwight Pannell, 43, was charged with a few counts of something or other after a student at a Univ. of Cincinnati library said Pannell had spritzed a liquid on her foot while he was crouched under a table and then photographed it. [Yr Editor guesses it was a bodily fluid, but they don’t know yet] Cincinnati Enquirer
NOTW Lite
Researchers found a tiny waterborne organism that hasn’t had sex in 40m yrs but survives by stealing DNA from, well, anything that moves . . . . . Recurring Theme: The only clever criminals are indeed drug smugglers, as in this finely-detailed statue of Jesus molded out of cocaine paste (but ya can’t fool those dogs) . . . . . Cause or effect? A man who lives across the street from a high school was caught on the grounds with a Taser, having earlier threatened students on his MySpace page, and, by the way, he was wearing a dress and said he needed help with “gender issues.”
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe Monday.™
Newsrangers: Ginger Katz, Dan Bohlen, Cindy Hildebrand, Jim Pross, Zach Chaney, Sam Varshavchik
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Thursday’s Creme de la Weird
He’s schizophrenic and on methadone maintenance, but state and feds say there was no legal basis to deny him his gun permit
Federal and Washington denial laws kick in only on hospitalization or a judge’s order; he’s being held in a Seattle shooting. Post-Intelligencer
British couple’s authentic Hindu temple set up in their spare bedroom in 1979 passes 50,000 worshipers
It’s a quiet neighborhood in Essex, except for the 100 pilgrims a day lining up in the yard, into the hallway, and up the stairs (with photos). Daily Mail (London)
Britain’s rape-conviction rate less than half that of the U.S.; both judges and police are blamed for not taking charges seriously
Apparently the “drunk / hoochie-dressed woman” defense works pretty well for men--about six times better than it used to work in the 1970s. Washington Post
The Human Condition Today
An apartment break-in, from the balcony, by a naked man . . . on the 10th floor
Police, stumped, send him for a mental checkup, but readers think he’s a boyfriend from another apartment who needed a getaway when the husband came home. Ann Arbor News
Stripper sues club after her DUI injury, claiming they made her drink with customers
You mean Yr Editor buys the “hostesses” real booze? I thought it was just ginger ale at whiskey prices. Birmingham News
Smartest kid in school is too smart to be valedictorian, so the runner-up gets the top-gun scholarship
Anjali Datta finished number one at Grapevine (Tex.) High School, with a nearly-5%-higher GPA than number-two’s, but she completed all the courses in 3 yrs, and the scholarship award stipulates “four years of high school.” Dallas Morning News
The Simian Condition Today: Not only can you and I learn how to control a robot arm just by thinking about it, but so can a monkey
Previous studies showed that monkeys could move a robot arm with their thoughts, but in this one, the monkeys taught themselves how to use it. New York Times
Update: A Washington Post dispatch yesterday reported that the chemical-ingestion way of taking The Only Way Out in Japan (in which fumes sickened 54 people in the hospital when the dying man vomited [NOTW Daily, 5-23-2008]) is the current trendy method of early departure, numbering nearly 300 in the last year. But ultimately, said the Post, Japan is a polite society, and in April, a chemical suicider had taped this note to his closed car’s windshield: “Don’t come near – poisonous gas.” (Bonus: A Taiwanese man this week, distraught over his girlfriend’s death, tried to check out by climbing into the morgue freezer to join her, but was pulled out, barely in time.) Washington Post / Reuters
And Also:
An Austin, Tex., fire lieutenant gets canned because he ordered the truck on call to wait two minutes until his order was done at the Burger House next door . . . . . Among the 170,000 items of found property turned in at the London subway office in the last yr were a stuffed puffer fish, two human skulls, several plastic limbs, and a pair of breast implants . . . . . Luckiest man alive: A motorist in Australia’s outback stopped to answer nature’s call, squatted, and got nipped by an ultra-venomous Brown Snake (but, as occasionally happens, it fired a blank).
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Yr Editor’s been watching this site for a while, wary of the sorta on-vacation note on the home page, which says they’ll be back May 26th. The sign’s still there, but the page is mouth-watering: a richly-textured chocolate, er, sphincter. The graphics are safe for work, but maybe not the name: EdibleAnus.com
Newsrangers: Stephen Taylor, Paul Music, H.Thompson, Michael Bellesiles, Raul Stone-Cousley, Kirk Haverkamp
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
He’s schizophrenic and on methadone maintenance, but state and feds say there was no legal basis to deny him his gun permit
Federal and Washington denial laws kick in only on hospitalization or a judge’s order; he’s being held in a Seattle shooting. Post-Intelligencer
British couple’s authentic Hindu temple set up in their spare bedroom in 1979 passes 50,000 worshipers
It’s a quiet neighborhood in Essex, except for the 100 pilgrims a day lining up in the yard, into the hallway, and up the stairs (with photos). Daily Mail (London)
Britain’s rape-conviction rate less than half that of the U.S.; both judges and police are blamed for not taking charges seriously
Apparently the “drunk / hoochie-dressed woman” defense works pretty well for men--about six times better than it used to work in the 1970s. Washington Post
The Human Condition Today
An apartment break-in, from the balcony, by a naked man . . . on the 10th floor
Police, stumped, send him for a mental checkup, but readers think he’s a boyfriend from another apartment who needed a getaway when the husband came home. Ann Arbor News
Stripper sues club after her DUI injury, claiming they made her drink with customers
You mean Yr Editor buys the “hostesses” real booze? I thought it was just ginger ale at whiskey prices. Birmingham News
Smartest kid in school is too smart to be valedictorian, so the runner-up gets the top-gun scholarship
Anjali Datta finished number one at Grapevine (Tex.) High School, with a nearly-5%-higher GPA than number-two’s, but she completed all the courses in 3 yrs, and the scholarship award stipulates “four years of high school.” Dallas Morning News
The Simian Condition Today: Not only can you and I learn how to control a robot arm just by thinking about it, but so can a monkey
Previous studies showed that monkeys could move a robot arm with their thoughts, but in this one, the monkeys taught themselves how to use it. New York Times
Update: A Washington Post dispatch yesterday reported that the chemical-ingestion way of taking The Only Way Out in Japan (in which fumes sickened 54 people in the hospital when the dying man vomited [NOTW Daily, 5-23-2008]) is the current trendy method of early departure, numbering nearly 300 in the last year. But ultimately, said the Post, Japan is a polite society, and in April, a chemical suicider had taped this note to his closed car’s windshield: “Don’t come near – poisonous gas.” (Bonus: A Taiwanese man this week, distraught over his girlfriend’s death, tried to check out by climbing into the morgue freezer to join her, but was pulled out, barely in time.) Washington Post / Reuters
And Also:
An Austin, Tex., fire lieutenant gets canned because he ordered the truck on call to wait two minutes until his order was done at the Burger House next door . . . . . Among the 170,000 items of found property turned in at the London subway office in the last yr were a stuffed puffer fish, two human skulls, several plastic limbs, and a pair of breast implants . . . . . Luckiest man alive: A motorist in Australia’s outback stopped to answer nature’s call, squatted, and got nipped by an ultra-venomous Brown Snake (but, as occasionally happens, it fired a blank).
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Yr Editor’s been watching this site for a while, wary of the sorta on-vacation note on the home page, which says they’ll be back May 26th. The sign’s still there, but the page is mouth-watering: a richly-textured chocolate, er, sphincter. The graphics are safe for work, but maybe not the name: EdibleAnus.com
Newsrangers: Stephen Taylor, Paul Music, H.Thompson, Michael Bellesiles, Raul Stone-Cousley, Kirk Haverkamp
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Wednesday’s Creme de la Weird
Meet Mrs. Berlin Wall, Mrs. Eiffel Tower, Mrs.--OK, this has gone far enough . . .
In a long piece presumably by the documentary-maker who did the car-sex thing last Sunday for Channel Five, London’s Independent previews next week’s show, on people supposedly in love with inanimate things besides cars (“objectum-sexuality,” which sounds like a poor attempt at pig latin). A Swedish woman still feels married to the Berlin Wall (and pissed that she’s now a widow); a San Francisco woman has committed marriage to the Eiffel Tower; and New Yorker Amy Wolfe plays the field, though the writer here says he witnessed her cooing and fondling a fairground ride. “They say” there are 40 members of a support group and that they aren’t fetishists but people deeply into romantic relationships with their objects. Two actual shrinks check in, taking the claims seriously (though neither has actually treated anyone for this).
The Independent (London)
Militaries, too, need to reduce their carbon footprints; hence, “environmentally friendly” bombs
TNT releases carbon and some toxics, but cleaner nitrogen’ll blow things up just as cool, say German scientists LiveScience.com
Finger-regrowing “pixie dust” in the news again, but this time in U.S. Army surgery
A finger-regrowing success story surfaced in April but was discounted, in part because it smelled of a for-profit research firm’s exaggeration (and because the secret ingredient was “pig intestine”). But something very similar was tried last week at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio. The concoction tricks cells into thinking they’re all young again and should be growing. New York Daily News-AP (original pixie-dust success) / The Guardian (London) (naah, it’s junk science) / CNN-AP (latest)
Send your panties to the Burmese Embassy in Ottawa
Myanmar’s ruling generals (who consult astrologers daily) are said to believe that cooties from women’s panties will turn them wimpy, and Canadian peace activists are on the job. CTV.ca
The Human Condition Today
Stranger shoots four at Arkansas wedding because his dog and the couple’s dog had a fight
The bride and groom are in intensive care. KTHV-TV (Little Rock)
Officers, SWAT team surround gunshot house for 7 hours, but neglect to knock on door; shooter had fallen asleep before they arrived and slept through the siege
WTMJ Radio (Milwaukee)
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
A 38-yr-old man was arrested in Takasaki, Japan, for having called a food company’s toll-free line 500 times (total time: 3,100 hours) to listen to an automated message by a woman whose voice excited him. Reuters
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Dennis Flores, a career-threatened city councilman in Lorain, Ohio, picked up in a prostitution-solicitation sting
NOTW Lite
The Palm Beach Post, digging dirt from public records, found that Celine Dion’s house in the area uses 250x as much water as the average resident’s, and Tiger Woods’s, 150x . . . . . New York City high school students learn a universal truth: The really dysfunctional kids are the middle-schoolers (here, bullying the big kids) . . . . . Paul Hurst got upset that he was denied admission to a casino bar in Australia because he was “inappropriately attired,” but you be the judge!
Professor Music’s Weird Links
What do you do if you’re in the colon-cleansing racket, and you’ve tried patiently, through books and articles, to convince people how dangerous a junked-up intestine is, but you seem to have exhausted the available market? Well, you expand the market by trying to persuade the people who have been ignoring you. But you need something really dramatic! This lady invited her veteran colon cleansers to not just describe their experiences but to, er, send photos of the actual gunk that came out. Seriously. No, I mean it, seriously. The photos of the evacuated contents are accompanied, seemingly proudly, by the name and photo of the contents’ former owner.
NOTW, The Blog
A few more good stories (now stale) from late last week: The 73-yr-old woman likes to walk around the house naked, which disgusts her son, which ticked her off and caused her to shoot herself in the finger . . . . . A kindergarten teacher called for a class vote on whether to kick out their unruly classmate (he gone, 14-2) (but not really) . . . . . A fourth human foot in 9 months, still shoe-clad, has washed ashore around Vancouver.
Newsrangers: Kurt Knochel, Stephen Taylor, Craig Wesselman, Paul Bruesch, Bea Westrate, Mark Macdonald, Karl Olson, Richard Martin, Kirsten MacKenzie
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Meet Mrs. Berlin Wall, Mrs. Eiffel Tower, Mrs.--OK, this has gone far enough . . .
In a long piece presumably by the documentary-maker who did the car-sex thing last Sunday for Channel Five, London’s Independent previews next week’s show, on people supposedly in love with inanimate things besides cars (“objectum-sexuality,” which sounds like a poor attempt at pig latin). A Swedish woman still feels married to the Berlin Wall (and pissed that she’s now a widow); a San Francisco woman has committed marriage to the Eiffel Tower; and New Yorker Amy Wolfe plays the field, though the writer here says he witnessed her cooing and fondling a fairground ride. “They say” there are 40 members of a support group and that they aren’t fetishists but people deeply into romantic relationships with their objects. Two actual shrinks check in, taking the claims seriously (though neither has actually treated anyone for this).
The Independent (London)
Militaries, too, need to reduce their carbon footprints; hence, “environmentally friendly” bombs
TNT releases carbon and some toxics, but cleaner nitrogen’ll blow things up just as cool, say German scientists LiveScience.com
Finger-regrowing “pixie dust” in the news again, but this time in U.S. Army surgery
A finger-regrowing success story surfaced in April but was discounted, in part because it smelled of a for-profit research firm’s exaggeration (and because the secret ingredient was “pig intestine”). But something very similar was tried last week at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio. The concoction tricks cells into thinking they’re all young again and should be growing. New York Daily News-AP (original pixie-dust success) / The Guardian (London) (naah, it’s junk science) / CNN-AP (latest)
Send your panties to the Burmese Embassy in Ottawa
Myanmar’s ruling generals (who consult astrologers daily) are said to believe that cooties from women’s panties will turn them wimpy, and Canadian peace activists are on the job. CTV.ca
The Human Condition Today
Stranger shoots four at Arkansas wedding because his dog and the couple’s dog had a fight
The bride and groom are in intensive care. KTHV-TV (Little Rock)
Officers, SWAT team surround gunshot house for 7 hours, but neglect to knock on door; shooter had fallen asleep before they arrived and slept through the siege
WTMJ Radio (Milwaukee)
People Whose Sex Lives Are Worse Than Yours
A 38-yr-old man was arrested in Takasaki, Japan, for having called a food company’s toll-free line 500 times (total time: 3,100 hours) to listen to an automated message by a woman whose voice excited him. Reuters
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Dennis Flores, a career-threatened city councilman in Lorain, Ohio, picked up in a prostitution-solicitation sting
NOTW Lite
The Palm Beach Post, digging dirt from public records, found that Celine Dion’s house in the area uses 250x as much water as the average resident’s, and Tiger Woods’s, 150x . . . . . New York City high school students learn a universal truth: The really dysfunctional kids are the middle-schoolers (here, bullying the big kids) . . . . . Paul Hurst got upset that he was denied admission to a casino bar in Australia because he was “inappropriately attired,” but you be the judge!
Professor Music’s Weird Links
What do you do if you’re in the colon-cleansing racket, and you’ve tried patiently, through books and articles, to convince people how dangerous a junked-up intestine is, but you seem to have exhausted the available market? Well, you expand the market by trying to persuade the people who have been ignoring you. But you need something really dramatic! This lady invited her veteran colon cleansers to not just describe their experiences but to, er, send photos of the actual gunk that came out. Seriously. No, I mean it, seriously. The photos of the evacuated contents are accompanied, seemingly proudly, by the name and photo of the contents’ former owner.
NOTW, The Blog
A few more good stories (now stale) from late last week: The 73-yr-old woman likes to walk around the house naked, which disgusts her son, which ticked her off and caused her to shoot herself in the finger . . . . . A kindergarten teacher called for a class vote on whether to kick out their unruly classmate (he gone, 14-2) (but not really) . . . . . A fourth human foot in 9 months, still shoe-clad, has washed ashore around Vancouver.
Newsrangers: Kurt Knochel, Stephen Taylor, Craig Wesselman, Paul Bruesch, Bea Westrate, Mark Macdonald, Karl Olson, Richard Martin, Kirsten MacKenzie
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Tuesday's Creme de la Weird
British tranny soldier with “hurt feelings” gets nearly the gov’t compensation that war-zone soldiers who lose both arms or legs get
Jan Hamilton (née Capt. Ian Hamilton) was ordered to report for a medical exam as a man, and she felt humiliated and demeaned, and the Ministry of Defence apologized and sent £250k.
Daily Telegraph (London)
Saudi sheikh/owner of Cairo Grand Hyatt orders all liquor poured out; it takes staff the entire day
BBC News
Human rights commission in India orders Hindu temple to let employees wear underwear
The temple in Kerala state takes in so much money, gold, and jewels that workers can only wear approved, pocketless sarongs. BBC News
Welsh town council orders historic pine tree chopped down because its needles are sharp
“Every” effort must be made, said one safety “expert,” to keep needles away from children. Daily Mail (London)
Australian state att’y gen’l says sorry ‘bout executing that innocent guy in 1921
(And Thursday night, Independent Film Channel will profile a retired Texas prison chaplain who oversaw 95 executions and is pretty sure at least one guy he knew was innocent.)
Australian Broadcasting Corp. /New York Times
Colorado casino shuttle bus service gets $382k in Homeland Security grants
Colorado Springs Gazette
Schizophrenic, daughter-murdering dad granted unsupervised day pass from mental hospital, doesn’t come back
(But he was rigorously evaluated and found deserving, officials say, or else we never would have let him go . . . honest!) CBC News
Brat Alert: (1) Leadfoot Nick Bollea (Hulk Hogan’s son), sentenced to do 8 months in county jail for the reckless accident that severely brain-damaged his best friend, complained to the Hulkster that his cell is “half the size of my bathroom [at home].” “I can’t deal with this for eight months.” He said his lawyer implied that if he pleaded no-contest, he’d get a minimum-security cell and could play cards. Said Hulk, “I’m proud of you, brother.” (2) Stefanie Woods is the 18-yr-old F-Stater who swiped the cookie money from a Girl Scout and then said on camera that she was “pissed” that she “got caught” [NOTW M047, 3-2-2008]. She was convicted last week of the theft charge and will be sentenced in June. Then, a couple of days later, she pleaded no-contest to skipping out on a $28 tab at a Denny’s. She said she was sorry, but “I still don’t think it gives [people] the right to be screaming things at me at Publix, at Starbucks, at Wal-Mart, at Target. People scream things at me every single day, and it’s getting really hard.” Tampa Tribune / WPEC-TV (West Palm Beach) (and there's a 17-slide show about her on PalmBeachPost.com)
The Human Condition Today
Minor-league pitcher John Odom was traded to another team for 10 baseball bats
It started as player-for-player, but the other guy wouldn’t go, so they settled on lumber.
Sports Illustrated-AP
There’s such a thing as a Fantasy Fishing tournament, “like fantasy football,” said Joe Collins, who was the winner of the Wal-Mart Open fantasy tournament, getting $100k. (Bonus: The actual fishing-fishing winner of the Wal-Mart Open won $200k.) KSLA-TV (Shreveport)-AP
Dead baby frozen solid in motel room freezer, but mom and dad still used the freezer for a year
Houston Chronicle
Your Daily Loser
Sharon Pratt, who her Murphy Motors (Williston, N.D.) employer said had just stolen $5k from him and left town, was picked up in Pittsburgh, Pa., after she gave “Murphy Motors” as a reference for a new job. Fargo Forum-AP
NOTW Lite
Not only did the dog fail the drug-sniff test that Japanese customs agents set up for him at Narita Int’l Airport, but the agent who planted the cannabis forgot which luggage he hid it in (and would appreciate your calling them if you find it). (Seriously) Agence France-Presse
Update: A Mexican theme-park-type adventure lets visitors experience simulated illegal U.S. border-crossing [NOTW 897, 4-13-2005], but this story is richer than the earlier one and concludes that the operators don’t quite encourage their paisanos to try it in real life].
Los Angeles Times
Update: U.S. Rep. Laura Richardson flatly denied the substance of the Capitol Weekly story (via Los Angeles Times) that she walked away from her mortgage [NOTW Daily, 5-23-2008] or that it’s in foreclosure. On the other hand, about the time she was deciding to say that, someone was buying the house at auction. The Daily Breeze (Torrance, Calif.) then wrote that it’s the third house purchase she's screwed up recently, though she did get current with one. She told a reporter she’s just been busy lately. Daily Breeze
Update: The police chief in Washington (District of Calamity), who said last week she was re-hiring 17 fired, guilty cops because of a due-process legal technicality [NOTW Daily, 5-21-2008], now says she will try to re-fire them, based on the fact that they’d always be lousy witnesses in court, in that they're all officially-declared liars. Washington Post
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Yr Editor informed you in February [NOTW M044, 2-10-2008] about China’s fascination with crickets, and especially cockfight-type cricket fights, which are video’d up on big screens for roomsful of spectators and bettors. So, well, here’s a website with lots of close-ups of bug fights, though it says these are from Japan.
NOTW, The Blog
(1) Some editor somewhere apparently made up another story about someone inserting an air hose into someone else’s rectum and sorta inflating him. This one supposedly happened in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, but . . .. (2) Here are some more links to that “sex with cars” thing from Friday [NOTW Daily, 5-23-2008]. This is the 415-member Yahoo Group (but you have to join to see the posts). Here’s a detailed FAQ page with energetic explanations of everything! This is a TV promotion for this past weekend’s program on the subject on Britain’s Channel Five. NOTW reader John Holsinger sent a tear sheet from a UK magazine with an interview of “Jordan Witham,” 20, of “Missouri, USA,” who’s really into his main car, a lady, but lately he’s two-timing her with a male car (a Trans-Am), not that there's anything wrong wi--wait, there is something wrong with that. Yr Editor knows that there are occasionally crazed drunks or pranksters who simulate sex by humping bicycles, etc., and here’s one from last week of a nude Californian undulating against a car’s windshield, but that’s not, y’know, real sex. All this rich writing looks straight out of a 1980s Penthouse Forum, and the interviews and photos are guys out for a hoot.
Newsrangers: Stephen Taylor, Karl Olson, Harry Farkas, Tom Barker, H.Thompson, Alan Magid, Christopher Nalty, Paul Music, Emory Kimbrough, Jamie Anderson, David Pines
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
British tranny soldier with “hurt feelings” gets nearly the gov’t compensation that war-zone soldiers who lose both arms or legs get
Jan Hamilton (née Capt. Ian Hamilton) was ordered to report for a medical exam as a man, and she felt humiliated and demeaned, and the Ministry of Defence apologized and sent £250k.
Daily Telegraph (London)
Saudi sheikh/owner of Cairo Grand Hyatt orders all liquor poured out; it takes staff the entire day
BBC News
Human rights commission in India orders Hindu temple to let employees wear underwear
The temple in Kerala state takes in so much money, gold, and jewels that workers can only wear approved, pocketless sarongs. BBC News
Welsh town council orders historic pine tree chopped down because its needles are sharp
“Every” effort must be made, said one safety “expert,” to keep needles away from children. Daily Mail (London)
Australian state att’y gen’l says sorry ‘bout executing that innocent guy in 1921
(And Thursday night, Independent Film Channel will profile a retired Texas prison chaplain who oversaw 95 executions and is pretty sure at least one guy he knew was innocent.)
Australian Broadcasting Corp. /New York Times
Colorado casino shuttle bus service gets $382k in Homeland Security grants
Colorado Springs Gazette
Schizophrenic, daughter-murdering dad granted unsupervised day pass from mental hospital, doesn’t come back
(But he was rigorously evaluated and found deserving, officials say, or else we never would have let him go . . . honest!) CBC News
Brat Alert: (1) Leadfoot Nick Bollea (Hulk Hogan’s son), sentenced to do 8 months in county jail for the reckless accident that severely brain-damaged his best friend, complained to the Hulkster that his cell is “half the size of my bathroom [at home].” “I can’t deal with this for eight months.” He said his lawyer implied that if he pleaded no-contest, he’d get a minimum-security cell and could play cards. Said Hulk, “I’m proud of you, brother.” (2) Stefanie Woods is the 18-yr-old F-Stater who swiped the cookie money from a Girl Scout and then said on camera that she was “pissed” that she “got caught” [NOTW M047, 3-2-2008]. She was convicted last week of the theft charge and will be sentenced in June. Then, a couple of days later, she pleaded no-contest to skipping out on a $28 tab at a Denny’s. She said she was sorry, but “I still don’t think it gives [people] the right to be screaming things at me at Publix, at Starbucks, at Wal-Mart, at Target. People scream things at me every single day, and it’s getting really hard.” Tampa Tribune / WPEC-TV (West Palm Beach) (and there's a 17-slide show about her on PalmBeachPost.com)
The Human Condition Today
Minor-league pitcher John Odom was traded to another team for 10 baseball bats
It started as player-for-player, but the other guy wouldn’t go, so they settled on lumber.
Sports Illustrated-AP
There’s such a thing as a Fantasy Fishing tournament, “like fantasy football,” said Joe Collins, who was the winner of the Wal-Mart Open fantasy tournament, getting $100k. (Bonus: The actual fishing-fishing winner of the Wal-Mart Open won $200k.) KSLA-TV (Shreveport)-AP
Dead baby frozen solid in motel room freezer, but mom and dad still used the freezer for a year
Houston Chronicle
Your Daily Loser
Sharon Pratt, who her Murphy Motors (Williston, N.D.) employer said had just stolen $5k from him and left town, was picked up in Pittsburgh, Pa., after she gave “Murphy Motors” as a reference for a new job. Fargo Forum-AP
NOTW Lite
Not only did the dog fail the drug-sniff test that Japanese customs agents set up for him at Narita Int’l Airport, but the agent who planted the cannabis forgot which luggage he hid it in (and would appreciate your calling them if you find it). (Seriously) Agence France-Presse
Update: A Mexican theme-park-type adventure lets visitors experience simulated illegal U.S. border-crossing [NOTW 897, 4-13-2005], but this story is richer than the earlier one and concludes that the operators don’t quite encourage their paisanos to try it in real life].
Los Angeles Times
Update: U.S. Rep. Laura Richardson flatly denied the substance of the Capitol Weekly story (via Los Angeles Times) that she walked away from her mortgage [NOTW Daily, 5-23-2008] or that it’s in foreclosure. On the other hand, about the time she was deciding to say that, someone was buying the house at auction. The Daily Breeze (Torrance, Calif.) then wrote that it’s the third house purchase she's screwed up recently, though she did get current with one. She told a reporter she’s just been busy lately. Daily Breeze
Update: The police chief in Washington (District of Calamity), who said last week she was re-hiring 17 fired, guilty cops because of a due-process legal technicality [NOTW Daily, 5-21-2008], now says she will try to re-fire them, based on the fact that they’d always be lousy witnesses in court, in that they're all officially-declared liars. Washington Post
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Yr Editor informed you in February [NOTW M044, 2-10-2008] about China’s fascination with crickets, and especially cockfight-type cricket fights, which are video’d up on big screens for roomsful of spectators and bettors. So, well, here’s a website with lots of close-ups of bug fights, though it says these are from Japan.
NOTW, The Blog
(1) Some editor somewhere apparently made up another story about someone inserting an air hose into someone else’s rectum and sorta inflating him. This one supposedly happened in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, but . . .. (2) Here are some more links to that “sex with cars” thing from Friday [NOTW Daily, 5-23-2008]. This is the 415-member Yahoo Group (but you have to join to see the posts). Here’s a detailed FAQ page with energetic explanations of everything! This is a TV promotion for this past weekend’s program on the subject on Britain’s Channel Five. NOTW reader John Holsinger sent a tear sheet from a UK magazine with an interview of “Jordan Witham,” 20, of “Missouri, USA,” who’s really into his main car, a lady, but lately he’s two-timing her with a male car (a Trans-Am), not that there's anything wrong wi--wait, there is something wrong with that. Yr Editor knows that there are occasionally crazed drunks or pranksters who simulate sex by humping bicycles, etc., and here’s one from last week of a nude Californian undulating against a car’s windshield, but that’s not, y’know, real sex. All this rich writing looks straight out of a 1980s Penthouse Forum, and the interviews and photos are guys out for a hoot.
Newsrangers: Stephen Taylor, Karl Olson, Harry Farkas, Tom Barker, H.Thompson, Alan Magid, Christopher Nalty, Paul Music, Emory Kimbrough, Jamie Anderson, David Pines
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Friday’s Creme de la Weird
Crimestopper: The concerned driver in Seattle punched 911 on his phone to report a danger he encountered on the road. Dispatcher: “What are you reporting?” Driver: “I just don’t know if I’m safe to be driving . . . I’m pretty drunk. I don’t feel good.” He gave directions to where he was. KCPQ-TV (Seattle)
Too Good To Be True? It says here that a 16-yr-old kid in Waterloo, Ont., has solved one of the world’s most vexing environmental problems. So, either this’ll be all over the papers soon, or he’ll be busted. The kid isolated and ID’d bacteria that can rapidly break down polyethelene plastic bags (y’know, 500 billion produced a yr, takes 1,000 yrs to decompose). He says one has been previously ID’d as breaking down polystyrene, but if it has a helper to mate with, it works on polyethelene. Yr Editor doesn’t know jack about this, but reporter from The Record (Kitchener, Ont.) goes step by patient step, and the kid just won top prize at the Canada-Wide Science Fair in Ottawa, raking in (Cdn)$30k. The Record
Makes His Dipstick Moist: Channel Five in Britain is working on a documentary about mechaphilia and has located a guy from Washington state who’s either a grand fake or beyond help because he goes on and on about how he only romances cars, currently his main gal Vanilla (a VW Beetle). “I’m a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what’s in my heart, and I have no desire to change.” Edward Smith is 57, says he first had sex “with” a car when he was 15, and hasn’t had sex with a human in years. The “global community” of “car lovers” allegedly numbers 500, or so they say in “Internet forums.” Yr Editor may troll these forums over the weekend, and I’ll let you know what I find. After all, it’s my job. Daily Telegraph (London)
Loving Family: In redneck Ocala, Fla., Brenda Hecht, 45, fed up with the laziness of son Chamborg, 18, got into it with him, and finally she grabbed a meat cleaver (and didn’t cleave him, just hit him several times). “I popped him in the head with the wrong thing. It was just there.” But, he said, she did threaten to cut off my head and my junk. Said she, “He talks about it too much anyway; there’s more to life than that.” Ocala Star-Banner
Larry Craig Bobblehead: Baseball’s St. Paul Saints will hand out 2,500 bobblehead souvenirs at Sunday’s game, but not of a player. It’s of a restroom stall with two lower legs and feet, and one of the feet bobbles (“taps,” which the team says with a stiff lip is in honor of Nat’l Tap Dance Day). It was at Minneapolis/St.Paul Int’l Airport that U.S. Sen. Larry Craig set up his famous wide-stance toe tap. Star Tribune
Thoughtless Suicidals: The Japanese kill themselves so frequently that it’s surprising they don’t more often accidentally take other people with them (as when one jumps off a building and inadvertently lands on a pedestrian [NOTW M007, 5-27-2007]). The 34-yr-old farmer in Kumamoto took The Only Way Out by ingesting chloropicrin, which has so much chlorine that when he later vomited at the hospital, 54 people got sick from the fumes. Mainichi Daily News
You Will Trust Me: Zurich Univ. scientists announced preliminary success with a nasal spray that upped the oxytocin level so that it reduced hyperactivity in the amygdala area of the brain, such hyperactivity being associated with excessive fear of people. Oxy-sprayed people proved more gullible (er, trusting) in tests than placebo-sprayed people. Yr Editor is certain that this work will be used only to bring “social phobia” sufferers up to normal levels and not for any other negative or dangerous or scary purpose at all. BBC News
And also . . .
Sycamore, Ill., where parking meters take pennies, raises its overstaying fine to $1 . . . . . An action-movie-type fight inside the cab of a big-rig (after the driver siphoned gasoline from the other guy’s tank) . . . . . Vindication months later for a wrongly-accused ambulance attendant who was merely trying to calm down the drug-crazed female masturbatrix . . . . . The Australian estranged wife who can’t seem to survive on A$800k/yr . . . . . An underappreciated suburban Chicago man who thought buying a personal fire truck would endear him to the neighbors . . . . . Experts from 10 countries spent time finally, officially defining (after review of all 100 studies over 65 yrs) just what constitutes “premature ejaculation.”
NOTW, The Blog
(1) Don't fret, dear readers. I'm just tinkering a bit with the format. Not ready to switch everything around just yet. I'll change some things back on Tuesday (when I return after the Monday U.S. holiday). (2) FYI, “5 Bullsh** Stories the Whole Internet Fell For” from Gawker.com. You didn’t read any of them on NOTW. By the way, there’s much more to the 4th item on Yalie Aliza Shvarts, which involved not strictly bs but Drudge and others jumping to conclusions (that she might well have wanted jumped to) based on her perhaps carefully chosen words.
Newsrangers: Harry Farkas, Joe Littrell, James Hanes, Christine Umayam, Bruce Leiserowitz, Raul Stone-Cousley, Tim Kennedy.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Crimestopper: The concerned driver in Seattle punched 911 on his phone to report a danger he encountered on the road. Dispatcher: “What are you reporting?” Driver: “I just don’t know if I’m safe to be driving . . . I’m pretty drunk. I don’t feel good.” He gave directions to where he was. KCPQ-TV (Seattle)
Too Good To Be True? It says here that a 16-yr-old kid in Waterloo, Ont., has solved one of the world’s most vexing environmental problems. So, either this’ll be all over the papers soon, or he’ll be busted. The kid isolated and ID’d bacteria that can rapidly break down polyethelene plastic bags (y’know, 500 billion produced a yr, takes 1,000 yrs to decompose). He says one has been previously ID’d as breaking down polystyrene, but if it has a helper to mate with, it works on polyethelene. Yr Editor doesn’t know jack about this, but reporter from The Record (Kitchener, Ont.) goes step by patient step, and the kid just won top prize at the Canada-Wide Science Fair in Ottawa, raking in (Cdn)$30k. The Record
Makes His Dipstick Moist: Channel Five in Britain is working on a documentary about mechaphilia and has located a guy from Washington state who’s either a grand fake or beyond help because he goes on and on about how he only romances cars, currently his main gal Vanilla (a VW Beetle). “I’m a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what’s in my heart, and I have no desire to change.” Edward Smith is 57, says he first had sex “with” a car when he was 15, and hasn’t had sex with a human in years. The “global community” of “car lovers” allegedly numbers 500, or so they say in “Internet forums.” Yr Editor may troll these forums over the weekend, and I’ll let you know what I find. After all, it’s my job. Daily Telegraph (London)
Loving Family: In redneck Ocala, Fla., Brenda Hecht, 45, fed up with the laziness of son Chamborg, 18, got into it with him, and finally she grabbed a meat cleaver (and didn’t cleave him, just hit him several times). “I popped him in the head with the wrong thing. It was just there.” But, he said, she did threaten to cut off my head and my junk. Said she, “He talks about it too much anyway; there’s more to life than that.” Ocala Star-Banner
Larry Craig Bobblehead: Baseball’s St. Paul Saints will hand out 2,500 bobblehead souvenirs at Sunday’s game, but not of a player. It’s of a restroom stall with two lower legs and feet, and one of the feet bobbles (“taps,” which the team says with a stiff lip is in honor of Nat’l Tap Dance Day). It was at Minneapolis/St.Paul Int’l Airport that U.S. Sen. Larry Craig set up his famous wide-stance toe tap. Star Tribune
Thoughtless Suicidals: The Japanese kill themselves so frequently that it’s surprising they don’t more often accidentally take other people with them (as when one jumps off a building and inadvertently lands on a pedestrian [NOTW M007, 5-27-2007]). The 34-yr-old farmer in Kumamoto took The Only Way Out by ingesting chloropicrin, which has so much chlorine that when he later vomited at the hospital, 54 people got sick from the fumes. Mainichi Daily News
You Will Trust Me: Zurich Univ. scientists announced preliminary success with a nasal spray that upped the oxytocin level so that it reduced hyperactivity in the amygdala area of the brain, such hyperactivity being associated with excessive fear of people. Oxy-sprayed people proved more gullible (er, trusting) in tests than placebo-sprayed people. Yr Editor is certain that this work will be used only to bring “social phobia” sufferers up to normal levels and not for any other negative or dangerous or scary purpose at all. BBC News
And also . . .
Sycamore, Ill., where parking meters take pennies, raises its overstaying fine to $1 . . . . . An action-movie-type fight inside the cab of a big-rig (after the driver siphoned gasoline from the other guy’s tank) . . . . . Vindication months later for a wrongly-accused ambulance attendant who was merely trying to calm down the drug-crazed female masturbatrix . . . . . The Australian estranged wife who can’t seem to survive on A$800k/yr . . . . . An underappreciated suburban Chicago man who thought buying a personal fire truck would endear him to the neighbors . . . . . Experts from 10 countries spent time finally, officially defining (after review of all 100 studies over 65 yrs) just what constitutes “premature ejaculation.”
NOTW, The Blog
(1) Don't fret, dear readers. I'm just tinkering a bit with the format. Not ready to switch everything around just yet. I'll change some things back on Tuesday (when I return after the Monday U.S. holiday). (2) FYI, “5 Bullsh** Stories the Whole Internet Fell For” from Gawker.com. You didn’t read any of them on NOTW. By the way, there’s much more to the 4th item on Yalie Aliza Shvarts, which involved not strictly bs but Drudge and others jumping to conclusions (that she might well have wanted jumped to) based on her perhaps carefully chosen words.
Newsrangers: Harry Farkas, Joe Littrell, James Hanes, Christine Umayam, Bruce Leiserowitz, Raul Stone-Cousley, Tim Kennedy.
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Thursday’s Creme de la Weird
Federal Budget Stewardess: Trapped in one of those free mortgages that were handed out like candy over the last few yrs (er, well, no upfront, out-of-pocket): U.S. Rep. Laura Richardson of California (who also got the seller to front her closing costs), and a reporter found that she just walked away from the house in March, owing all $535k plus $40k in accumulated interest. Capitol Weekly via Los Angeles Times
Hell Will Have Cable TV: A USA Today roundup lists some school districts that have instituted minimum “50" scores for class instead of “0.” Pro: Well, the other letter grades only have a 10-point range (A is 100 to 90) so an F should, too (59 to 50). Con, of course: half-credit for no work.
Brave New Pooch: California’s BioArts International has partnered with a South Korean firm and will auction off, on June 18, the rights to clone five dogs, with suggested opening bids of $100k. BioArts cloned three dogs last yr from “Missy,” who died in 2002. The Korean firm is the one with fraudster Hwang Woo Suk in it, but BioArts said, Oh, well, that was with his human embryo work, and this is dog stuff. (Under-realized fact: A clone of your loving Fritzy will still be a total stranger.)
No Religion Left Behind: A Penn State researcher’s survey of high-school science teachers revealed that about a fourth spend time on something they’d call “creation” science and that half of them (12 percent of all science teachers) teach creationism as a “valid, scientific alternative to Darwinian explanations for the origin of species.”
Update: Undaunted by their earlier defeat in Austria’s Supreme Court to have a chimpanzee declared a “person,” a Vienna-based animal-rights organization has convinced the European Court of Human Rights to consider the case. (Backstory: A sanctuary in Austria has gone bankrupt, and activists fear that its existing chimps will be sold into research outside Austria, where animal abuse laws are more lax. Donations for chimps’ upkeep cannot reliably be handled without a legal guardian, the activists say. [NOTW M010, 6-17-2007])
Civilization in Decline
Handy Road-Rage Kit: In Butler, Mo. (about an hour south of Kansas City), a car dealer offers a premium of either $250 in gas or a semi-automatic handgun (and 80 percent choose the heat) . . . . . Several people have been fired as a result of a Chinese travel magazine’s decision to shoot a photo spread, using scantily-clad women, from around the earthquake sites.
NOTW Lite
Washington state’s Health Dept. did as ordered and suggested a specific amount of medical marijuana allowed as a “60-day” supply under the law, but it was almost 2 pounds’ worth, and the governor said go think harder . . . . . A man was arrested for abusing the 911 line in Waco, Tex., by calling 15 times because he was tired of waiting for a taxi (the perp: Mr. Kevin Waits) . . . . . A North Carolina high school bus driver is accused of, uh, letting her daughter give a tattoo to one of her riders during the trip . . . . . The Zappos shoe company apparently does many things right, according to a Harvard Business School blog, especially the part about training you for a week, then offering you $1,000 to quit the company (about 10 percent take it, by definition, the meeee! people) [Link from Fark.com]
Updates
Waddah “Martin” Mustapha’s case, before Canada’s Supreme Court, is scheduled to be decided today; he’ll find out whether the Cdn$341k he won at trial in 2005 was enough to compensate him for the great trauma of seeing a fly in his water bottle (actually, a fly's big blue butt, he said) [NOTW Daily, 3-21-2008]. [Update of Update: He lost, 9-0. No money.]
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
Newsrangers: Neil Gimon, Mark Neunder, Ed Duval, Christine Malone, Tom Barker
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Federal Budget Stewardess: Trapped in one of those free mortgages that were handed out like candy over the last few yrs (er, well, no upfront, out-of-pocket): U.S. Rep. Laura Richardson of California (who also got the seller to front her closing costs), and a reporter found that she just walked away from the house in March, owing all $535k plus $40k in accumulated interest. Capitol Weekly via Los Angeles Times
Hell Will Have Cable TV: A USA Today roundup lists some school districts that have instituted minimum “50" scores for class instead of “0.” Pro: Well, the other letter grades only have a 10-point range (A is 100 to 90) so an F should, too (59 to 50). Con, of course: half-credit for no work.
Brave New Pooch: California’s BioArts International has partnered with a South Korean firm and will auction off, on June 18, the rights to clone five dogs, with suggested opening bids of $100k. BioArts cloned three dogs last yr from “Missy,” who died in 2002. The Korean firm is the one with fraudster Hwang Woo Suk in it, but BioArts said, Oh, well, that was with his human embryo work, and this is dog stuff. (Under-realized fact: A clone of your loving Fritzy will still be a total stranger.)
No Religion Left Behind: A Penn State researcher’s survey of high-school science teachers revealed that about a fourth spend time on something they’d call “creation” science and that half of them (12 percent of all science teachers) teach creationism as a “valid, scientific alternative to Darwinian explanations for the origin of species.”
Update: Undaunted by their earlier defeat in Austria’s Supreme Court to have a chimpanzee declared a “person,” a Vienna-based animal-rights organization has convinced the European Court of Human Rights to consider the case. (Backstory: A sanctuary in Austria has gone bankrupt, and activists fear that its existing chimps will be sold into research outside Austria, where animal abuse laws are more lax. Donations for chimps’ upkeep cannot reliably be handled without a legal guardian, the activists say. [NOTW M010, 6-17-2007])
Civilization in Decline
Handy Road-Rage Kit: In Butler, Mo. (about an hour south of Kansas City), a car dealer offers a premium of either $250 in gas or a semi-automatic handgun (and 80 percent choose the heat) . . . . . Several people have been fired as a result of a Chinese travel magazine’s decision to shoot a photo spread, using scantily-clad women, from around the earthquake sites.
NOTW Lite
Washington state’s Health Dept. did as ordered and suggested a specific amount of medical marijuana allowed as a “60-day” supply under the law, but it was almost 2 pounds’ worth, and the governor said go think harder . . . . . A man was arrested for abusing the 911 line in Waco, Tex., by calling 15 times because he was tired of waiting for a taxi (the perp: Mr. Kevin Waits) . . . . . A North Carolina high school bus driver is accused of, uh, letting her daughter give a tattoo to one of her riders during the trip . . . . . The Zappos shoe company apparently does many things right, according to a Harvard Business School blog, especially the part about training you for a week, then offering you $1,000 to quit the company (about 10 percent take it, by definition, the meeee! people) [Link from Fark.com]
Updates
Waddah “Martin” Mustapha’s case, before Canada’s Supreme Court, is scheduled to be decided today; he’ll find out whether the Cdn$341k he won at trial in 2005 was enough to compensate him for the great trauma of seeing a fly in his water bottle (actually, a fly's big blue butt, he said) [NOTW Daily, 3-21-2008]. [Update of Update: He lost, 9-0. No money.]
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
Newsrangers: Neil Gimon, Mark Neunder, Ed Duval, Christine Malone, Tom Barker
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Wednesday’s Creme de la Weird
Can’t Possibly Be True: Police said Darrell Walker, 30, Bartlesville, Okla., routinely disciplines his son, 8, and daughter, 7, by shooting them with his BB gun (except that the girl said, once, when he ran out of BB’s, he just bopped her in the head with the gun). (This is a step down toward hell from the May 5 [NOTW Daily, 5-5-2008] maternal BB-winging of a little girl, which was just over the woman’s desire to win a $1 bet with her boyfriend.)
Wives 2, Husbands 0: After 7 weeks of marital bliss, Nevada Assemblywoman Francis Allen was charged with stabbing her husband in the arm in a fight and then, when he asked for help, telling him to call his mother (but both tried to change the story later). And when F-Stater Adam Ward fell behind in his marriage-dissolution payments, the estranged missus commandeered his computer to encourage him to pay up, but then he reported the blatant extortion to the police, who later found Adam’s child pornography on it.
District of Calamity: The Washington, D.C., police chief re-hired 17 officers who had been fired for blatant misconduct but only because the department had not made final disposition of each case within “55 days,” as personnel rules require. The department said that, at the time of firing, people viewed “55" as just a guideline. (The Washington Post had revealed that between 1991-1993, the more-than-200 suspended or fired cops had been reinstated by the courts based on the 55-day rule.)
Freedom of the Press: A Court of the something-something in Brussels, interpreting the “free press” part of Belgium’s Constitution, found that it applies only to “writers” and not to an “illustrator” whose cartoon equated a Belgian businessman with Congo’s former dictator Mobutu. And don’t even try to claim “free press” if you’re TV or the Internet! (On the other hand, the Court figured the businessman was hurt only 1 euro’s worth.)
Legislature in Action: Maine last had a nuclear plant in 1997, but it continues to have a nuclear safety advisor and a nuclear safety inspector, with a total budget of $276k. Turns out the legislature’d like to eliminate them, but the current advisor is a former state senate big shot, so that job stays, and to make that not look too obvious, they kept the other job, too.
The Human Condition Today
A Miami (Ohio) Univ. student died of his injuries suffered 3 weeks ago when he fell out of bed at a frat house (it was a loft bed, but still . .) . . . . . Police in LaCrosse, Wis., notifying a 17-yr-old boy about a complaint that he had posted nude photos of an underage girl on his MySpace page and giving him a chance to take them down, was charged, anyway, when he allegedly responded, “[expletive] that. I am keeping them up.”
Your Daily Loser
Cops still don’t know his name, but he’d been running a fraudulent credit-card scam in central Florida, until a convenience store clerk alerted police, who descended on the store, causing Our Man to flee, except that he ran full speed into the front door (Bonus: mug shot reflects souvenirs of the door’s decisive victory)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Zachary Rodriguez, 18, scheduled to graduate from high school last Saturday morning, stands accused of a break-in theft Friday night (Bonus: and a vial of cocaine in his rectum)
NOTW Lite
Now, even the Gotti mob family’s suffering from sour mortgage loans: “Sal” squeezed and squeezed, and finally “persuaded” the faltering company to pay up, but now the feds are suing Sal for collecting his marker more efficiently than the bankruptcy trustee can collect his own markers on behalf of the company’s other creditors . . . . . An F-State mom and son were able to spend quality time when their hearings were called before the same judge in the same afternoon (he, rape; she, probation violation).
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
NOTW, The Blog
(1) The baby survived, so this wouldn’t qualify for Yr Editor’s “middle-name-Wayne murderers” list, anyway, but, charged with child abuse in Gastonia, N.C.: Sharena Waynette Bess . . . . . (2) Yr Editor’s Fine Whinery: Yr Editor dutifully reported to you [NOTW Daily, 5-6-2008] the case of the middle-school teacher supposedly sacked because his in-class magic trick was termed, he said, “wizardry” by his superiors. I told you at the time that there was more to the story (he had several transgressions on his record that dwarfed any religious text), and in fact, there had to be more because not even an F State school board would do that, if only because there are far more acceptable, bulletproof words and phrases one could use to accomplish the same religious-based firing. A follow-up by the St. Petersburg Times on Sunday put the story into perspective. It’s quite clear that the teacher made up the “w” word simply to attract attention, and it worked (except he’s still fired). The poor school board member got death threats from afar after Keith Olbermann (among many others) trashed her, based upon completely slurping up the original, uncritical use of the teacher’s word “wizardry.” And that’s what “news” has become these days on the Internet and on cable and local TV. Run with the sensational because the Internet audience, and the cable and local TV audience, are all about now; current; quick; first; pizzazz; outrage; boom! Left behind is what used to be “news,” and that includes, too often, Yr Editor, who is forced to discard three or four otherwise-fabulous, but poorly-“reported,” stories every day that popular Internet news aggregators salivate over. End of rant. Thankya, thankyaverrmuch.
Newsrangers: Karl Olson, Jeff Berg, John DeJong, Don Tyler, Harry Farkas
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Can’t Possibly Be True: Police said Darrell Walker, 30, Bartlesville, Okla., routinely disciplines his son, 8, and daughter, 7, by shooting them with his BB gun (except that the girl said, once, when he ran out of BB’s, he just bopped her in the head with the gun). (This is a step down toward hell from the May 5 [NOTW Daily, 5-5-2008] maternal BB-winging of a little girl, which was just over the woman’s desire to win a $1 bet with her boyfriend.)
Wives 2, Husbands 0: After 7 weeks of marital bliss, Nevada Assemblywoman Francis Allen was charged with stabbing her husband in the arm in a fight and then, when he asked for help, telling him to call his mother (but both tried to change the story later). And when F-Stater Adam Ward fell behind in his marriage-dissolution payments, the estranged missus commandeered his computer to encourage him to pay up, but then he reported the blatant extortion to the police, who later found Adam’s child pornography on it.
District of Calamity: The Washington, D.C., police chief re-hired 17 officers who had been fired for blatant misconduct but only because the department had not made final disposition of each case within “55 days,” as personnel rules require. The department said that, at the time of firing, people viewed “55" as just a guideline. (The Washington Post had revealed that between 1991-1993, the more-than-200 suspended or fired cops had been reinstated by the courts based on the 55-day rule.)
Freedom of the Press: A Court of the something-something in Brussels, interpreting the “free press” part of Belgium’s Constitution, found that it applies only to “writers” and not to an “illustrator” whose cartoon equated a Belgian businessman with Congo’s former dictator Mobutu. And don’t even try to claim “free press” if you’re TV or the Internet! (On the other hand, the Court figured the businessman was hurt only 1 euro’s worth.)
Legislature in Action: Maine last had a nuclear plant in 1997, but it continues to have a nuclear safety advisor and a nuclear safety inspector, with a total budget of $276k. Turns out the legislature’d like to eliminate them, but the current advisor is a former state senate big shot, so that job stays, and to make that not look too obvious, they kept the other job, too.
The Human Condition Today
A Miami (Ohio) Univ. student died of his injuries suffered 3 weeks ago when he fell out of bed at a frat house (it was a loft bed, but still . .) . . . . . Police in LaCrosse, Wis., notifying a 17-yr-old boy about a complaint that he had posted nude photos of an underage girl on his MySpace page and giving him a chance to take them down, was charged, anyway, when he allegedly responded, “[expletive] that. I am keeping them up.”
Your Daily Loser
Cops still don’t know his name, but he’d been running a fraudulent credit-card scam in central Florida, until a convenience store clerk alerted police, who descended on the store, causing Our Man to flee, except that he ran full speed into the front door (Bonus: mug shot reflects souvenirs of the door’s decisive victory)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[no fair examining the evidence; verdict based on mugshot only]
Zachary Rodriguez, 18, scheduled to graduate from high school last Saturday morning, stands accused of a break-in theft Friday night (Bonus: and a vial of cocaine in his rectum)
NOTW Lite
Now, even the Gotti mob family’s suffering from sour mortgage loans: “Sal” squeezed and squeezed, and finally “persuaded” the faltering company to pay up, but now the feds are suing Sal for collecting his marker more efficiently than the bankruptcy trustee can collect his own markers on behalf of the company’s other creditors . . . . . An F-State mom and son were able to spend quality time when their hearings were called before the same judge in the same afternoon (he, rape; she, probation violation).
Professor Music’s Weird Links
Not today. Maybe tomorrow.™
NOTW, The Blog
(1) The baby survived, so this wouldn’t qualify for Yr Editor’s “middle-name-Wayne murderers” list, anyway, but, charged with child abuse in Gastonia, N.C.: Sharena Waynette Bess . . . . . (2) Yr Editor’s Fine Whinery: Yr Editor dutifully reported to you [NOTW Daily, 5-6-2008] the case of the middle-school teacher supposedly sacked because his in-class magic trick was termed, he said, “wizardry” by his superiors. I told you at the time that there was more to the story (he had several transgressions on his record that dwarfed any religious text), and in fact, there had to be more because not even an F State school board would do that, if only because there are far more acceptable, bulletproof words and phrases one could use to accomplish the same religious-based firing. A follow-up by the St. Petersburg Times on Sunday put the story into perspective. It’s quite clear that the teacher made up the “w” word simply to attract attention, and it worked (except he’s still fired). The poor school board member got death threats from afar after Keith Olbermann (among many others) trashed her, based upon completely slurping up the original, uncritical use of the teacher’s word “wizardry.” And that’s what “news” has become these days on the Internet and on cable and local TV. Run with the sensational because the Internet audience, and the cable and local TV audience, are all about now; current; quick; first; pizzazz; outrage; boom! Left behind is what used to be “news,” and that includes, too often, Yr Editor, who is forced to discard three or four otherwise-fabulous, but poorly-“reported,” stories every day that popular Internet news aggregators salivate over. End of rant. Thankya, thankyaverrmuch.
Newsrangers: Karl Olson, Jeff Berg, John DeJong, Don Tyler, Harry Farkas
This posting to News of the Weird Daily is © 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
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