Tuesday, November 10, 2009

News of the Weird/Pro Edition (Extra)
November 9, 2009
(juicy and/or disturbing news from October 31-November 7)
by Chuck Shepherd
© 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Still More Things to Worry About

Solemnly communing with the Holy Spirit on the Day of the Dead (Nov. 2) worked out just swell for Jose Andrade of Des Moines, Iowa. He left the candles burning in his bathtub, leading to a minor inferno in the john, melting the tub. Des Moines Register

Good to know: Australian National University researchers have learned that male fiddler crabs lurk close to home, hoping to get the chance to protect females from intruders so that they can get rewarded, with sex. Associated Press via San Francisco Chronicle

David Napodano, 42, was arrested in North Naples, Fla., for exhibiting his naked self while in his truck in a Wal-Mart parking lot. When two women chose to be alarmed rather than stimulated, and called police, the best Napodano could do to explain having removed his clothes was that he was experiencing "explosive diarrhea" (but that condition always produces evidence, and none was present). WBBH-TV (Fort Myers, Fla.)

Both Bishop Rick Painter of the Cathedral of Christ the King, and his Phoenix, Ariz., neighbors, think the other's position is outrageous: Painter: Of course God approves our ringing the church bells every half-hour, 24/7. Neighbor Sam Jensen: "I can't imagine . . .." ABC News

Not Supposed to Happen: In Enid, Okla., a motorist on U.S. 81 collided with an elephant, but Becky Field, traveling on Interstate 89 in New London, N.H., was probably unimpressed. Her car collided with a boar. Associated Press via The Oklahoman /// Concord Monitor

Sneakers are getting way-too expensive: The pair that University of Central Florida basketball player Marcus Jordan wears costs $3 million. (Marcus is Michael's son, and insists on wearing Nike Air Jordans, which caused Adidas to cancel its 6-year contract with UCF.) Orlando Sentinel

It was "divine intervention," she said. The life of motorist Christine Challinor, 70, of Cheltenham, England, was spared when the tree crushed the front of her car as she was driving by. (If she'd been a few more inches along on the road, she'd be a goner, but on the other hand, genuine divine intervention would've ordered her onto an alternate route.) Daily Telegraph

Again! Just Once More! Please! A civilian riding with a South African air force aerobatic team "braced himself" but inadvertently tripped the ejector lever and was popped 100 yards straight up (and landed safely). The Guardian (London)

Did he marry the lady for love, or because he wanted a canvas on which to ply his plastic surgery trade? He's sculpting his masterpiece. The Sun (London)

And finally, a guy who knows how to get attention on the Internet. (1) Wear a Halloween outfit of a makeshift breathalyzer (with suggested location for blowing into). (2) Drink. (3) Drive. (4) Get caught (.158 actual reading). (5) Make sure there's a mug shot. The Smoking Gun