Tuesday, March 08, 2011

News of the Weird/Pro Edition
You're Still Not Cynical Enough

Prime Choice Cuts of Underreported News from Last Week, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
March 8, 2011
(datelines February 26-March 5) (links correct as of March 7)
© 2011 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

Below The Fold

They stage Spielberg-quality attention-to-detail scenarios--of illnesses, including at-death's-door--just to get online sympathy: M√ľnchausen by Internet! The Guardian (London)

Caught naked in her teenage lover's closet: the 40-year-old Mary Magdalene (uh, Mary Magdalene Collier). WTTG-TV (Washington, D.C.)

Evidently, publishing on the Internet is too difficult for this guy to master so he publishes his novel, page by page, by taping it to streetlamps in New York City's East Village. New York Post

Medical Marvel: A Chinese farmer who has endured unspeakable colonic inconveniences in his life now has cause for rejoicing: Doctors just gave him a new anus! Global Times (Beijing)

Ms. Rakel Daniele thought her lottery ticket had won $250,000 because that's what WABC-TV (New York City) had on the screen. Turns out the station had just forgotten to change the screen from the day before. She no win; she sue. Fox News

How bad could Mom be? A Brooklyn, N.Y., divorce judge awarded custody of the teenager to his dad. Mom's got a $90,000-a-year job; Dad is homeless (storefronts, shelters). New York Post

Day-Care Combos: (1) In Morganton, N.C., a combo day-care and meth lab, apparently. (2) In Pittsburgh, Pa., a combo day-care and sex-toy playroom. Gaston Gazette (Gastonia) /// WPXI-TV (Pittsburgh)

Flash! Briton Jessica Davey, 22, has more time than you and I have. Her car was booted and set for towing but she locked herself inside and won a 30-hour standoff with the parking inspector until he tore up the ticket. News.com.au (Sydney)

Leading Economic Indicator: Pizza parlor wars of Upper Darby, Pa., are so vicious that Uncle Nick's and Verona are creating retaliatory mouse infestations. Associated Press via Yahoo News

Finally, from artist Lydia Leith, the finest in souvenirware for the upcoming Royal Wedding: commemorative barf bags. Agence France-Presse via Yahoo News