Monday, January 16, 2012

Chuck's Weekly Cite-Seeing Tour
The Crème de la Crème, Every Monday

January 16, 2012
(datelines from January 6 or later) (links correct as of January 16)

Karnataka state, India: The December food-rolling ritual was once again panned by religious leaders. (By century-old tradition, lower-caste people wrap themselves in leftover food from upper-caste people and roll around in it . . to improve the skin. Charming. BBC News

Calabasas, Calif.: The state-of-the-art fertility company PlanetHospital was revealed to have a package for wannabe mothers who are really, really impatient. For an extra fee, they'll up your odds of conception by implanting your eggs into two Indian women at the same time. Downside: Both may work, and it's rude to abort.

Athens, Greece: The Labor Ministry beefed up official disability-benefit categories . . to include luckless unfortunates such as kleptomaniacs, exhibitionists, and pedophiles.   Associated Press via Washington Post

Texas City, Tex.:  An auto accident victim spent 4 hours in the Mainland Medical Center's ER (exam, diagnostic tests) before being released, with the probable bill of $4,850, which is obviously ridiculous but expected.  That was before the hospital found out that there would be litigation associated with the accident. New bill: $20,211. Galveston Daily News

Jerusalem:  At a big-time world gynecology conference last week, all female doctors had to sit together on one side, and only males were allowed to address the audience (because there's that ultra-Orthodox thingy going on).    The Globe and Mail (Toronto)

Kermanshah, Iran:  A 21-yr-old man got a bad tattoo on his penis (the inker pricked too deep) and now has a permanent semi-hard.  (Doctors tried a shunt to drain excess blood, but it didn't work.  "[T]he patient has declined to undergo further therapies and lives with his condition.")  Journal of Sexual Medicine via ABC News

eBay:  [Not clear whether it's a sale or an auction, but] A seller is offering an 8-oz. bottle of swimming pool water swum in by Tom Cruise and family on 7-16-2011 in Miami Beach.   Around $100.  Jonathan Turley blog

Las Vegas:  NOTW readers know about teledildonics (remote sensoring of your woman's vibrator as if you were right there), and now one TD firm is giving away 1,000 kits to wives of deployed U.S. military.  PC Magazine

Washington, D.C. (Why voters love government!):  All motor fuel companies will pay a big-bucks statutory penalty this year, and next, because they failed to add a certain mandated biofuel to their gasoline . . even though said mandated biofuel does not yet exist.  (That's interesting, said EPA, but irrelevant.)   New York Times

Coventry, England:  An aggressive, malignant mouth tumor was removed by surgery the patient's coughing it out of her mouth. She's now cancer-free. (Such a result, said her doctor, is "uncommon.") World's Greatest Newspaper

Dayton, Ohio:  Bullets are valid holdup weapons only if they're inside a gun.  Dayton Daily News

Southwark, England:  British justice lowered the boom on a guy with 1,000,000 child porn images. He got one year (suspended), plus treatment and registration as a sex offender. [F State punishment for a million images would include razoring out his eyeballs followed by death in a fire.] World's Greatest Newspaper

Jacksonville, N.C.:  [ed.: not sure about this one] Police in Jacksonville, N.C., say the suspect must've smuggled the .22-caliber pistol into jail inside his wazoo (since, after all, we strip-searched him). However, the gun is 10 inches long, and his wazoo wasn't particularly torn up. He said he found the gun in a cell, which, along with "poor strip-search," would be things cops would rather not cop to. Jacksonville Daily News

Osaka, Japan:  Trouble ensued when The Galerie shop tried to play around with the Japanese word for "lucky bags" ("fukubukuro," designating the country's after-New Year's sales), designing posters for its English-speaking customers. Hilarity ensued! World's Greatest Newspaper

Grants Pass, Ore.:  After the slightly-smaller Roseburg, Ore., installed locally-funded bus shelters for $11k each.  Grants Pass installed five, but because it used federal and state funds, with the usual strings attached (for labor, environmental, due-process, etc., mandates), it will pay $106k each. The Oregonian

Thanks to Geoff Egan, Judith Hicks, Gerald Sacks, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.