Monday, February 06, 2012

Chuck's Weekly Cite-Seeing Tour
The Crème de la Crème, Every Monday

Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
February 6, 2012
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
(datelines from January 27 or later) (links correct as of February 4)

Doha, Qatar: The government paid $250m for a Paul Cézanne painting, making it the most expensive single piece ever--unless David Choe surpasses it for his wall-tagging at the original Facebook headquarters, for which he took back stock instead of cash and now owns around 0.10 to 0.25 percent of the company, or possibly "upward of $200 million." Vanity Fair /// New York Times

Sodeto, Spain: Everyone in the 250-person farm village bought into a jointly-held set of lottery tickets in the El Gordo lottery--and won. Everyone got at least $130k, some more . . except that one guy in town who didn't play (though he said he's OK with it.) New York Times

Palm Bay, Fla. /// Seattle: Here's a distinction between "coincidence" and "irony." In Palm Bay, Earl Persell was charged with battery for beating up his girlfriend during an argument . . about Ike and Tina Turner. However, in Seattle (as, actually, is the case in other places), you can't disturb library patrons by talking too loud, but you can gross them out all you want by browsing computer porn. Florida Today (Melbourne) /// Seattle Post-Intelligencer

Palm Beach, Fla.: A really-rich guy legally adopted his 42-yr-old girlfriend in order to worm his way around Florida law. (As his daughter, she can take money from his estate that won't thus be available to the family that's suing the rich guy for a DUI crash.) Palm Beach Post

Police Blotter: (1) It's illegal to steal ice from a glacier. (2) The chocolate/peanut butter/Nyquil burglar. (3) DUI . . on a Zamboni. (4) I robbed the bank, she said, but only by "accident." BBC News /// The Smoking Gun /// The Smoking Gun /// Daily Herald (Everett, Wash.)

Caracas, Venezuela:: Take a look at Mexican Maria Jose Cristerna, 35, whose body is 98-percent-covered in tattoos (and also various piercings, prosthetic fangs, and platinum forehead implants). (Bonus: She's a lawyer.) KABC-TV (Los Angeles)

Sydney, Australia: The Lyonswood Investigations and Forensic Group said the job was quickly filled, but it did advertise in late January to hire, at A$70,000 annually, a brothel inspector. (Unlike the pesky law that restrains police officers, this inspector is required to try out the hookers.) Ninemsn.com (Sydney)

Katrineholm, Sweden: Cupid struck two famous Swedish nutcase murderers now safely behind locked hospital doors. The Skara Cannibal and the Vampire Woman are hoping to get hitched. (The Cannibal said the only reason he cut off, and ate, his ex-girlfriend's head was to convince doctors to give him "hospital" instead of "prison.") The Local (Stockholm)

Raleigh, N.C.: At N.C. State University, Big Cyrano, 10, became the first kitty cat to get knee-replacement surgery. He'd really let himself go and was up to 20 lbs. Associated Press via Daily Mail (London)

Newtown St. Boswells, Scotland: Local councillor Kenneth Gunn blasted budget cuts that closed down the office that reports marriage notices. That means, he said, a lot more incest--because how can people be certain they're not marrying a relative? Scottish Daily Record (Glasgow)

Huntington, W.Va.: Marshall University frat boy Louis Helmburg III is suing his fraternity after he fell off of a rail-less balcony at the frat house, startled by a bottle-explosion. (Bonus: A frat brother in a hey-check-this-out moment, was about to shoot the lit rocket out of his butt when it exploded.) (Is there anything alcohol can't do?) Courthouse News Service

Your Weekly Jury Duty [In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:

Hudson, Fla.: They say Joseph Tarochione, 73, was pulling cars over into a strip-club parking lot in the middle of the day. He said he was patrolling for terrorists. (Defense: He didn't actually search the drivers; he just held them and radioed in for a trooper come look for bombs.) WTSP-TV (St. Petersburg)

Thanks to Gary Locke, Sergio Brusin, Gary DaSilva, and Richard Zehr, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.