Monday, February 13, 2012

Chuck's Weekly Cite-Seeing Tour
The Crème de la Crème, Every Monday

Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved
February 13, 2012
(datelines from February 3 or later) (links correct as of February 13)

Houston, Tex.: Ms. Donnicia Venters can't sue for being fired for suggesting she needed a room at work for breast-feeding. Federal EEO law protects "pregnancy" things, and Judge (Mr.) Lynn Hughes ruled that "pregnancy" ends when the kid drops. Houston Press

Brooklyn, N.Y.: Fausat Ogunbayo, 46, sued in federal court to get her kids back from child welfare . . and besides that, wants, umm, $900,000,000,000 in walking-around money). Staten Island Advance

San Diego, Calif.: PETA got a formal hearing (more than it usually gets in cases like this) but was ultimately rebuffed by a federal judge on its argument that Amendment XIII (abolishing slavery) protects SeaWorld whales. Associated Press via CBS News

New Castle, Ind.: Another recent denture-only theft. No, not the same as that other guy. And not that third one, either. The Star Press (Muncie, Ind.) /// Observer-Reporter (Washington, Pa.) /// Associated Press via WPVI-TV (Philadelphia)

Ellisville, Miss.: Harold Hadley Jr., 19, was charged with a bomb threat at Jones County (Miss.) Junior College. Friends and family point out that Hadley is a notorious wind-breaker and that when he wrote that he "passed a bomb" in the library, it was methane and not sarin. WDAM-TV (Hattiesburg) via WLOX-TV (Biloxi)

Washington, D.C.: U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex), defending the Alaskan oil pipeline at a hearing, pointed out a little-realized benefit: rescuing caribou from impending extinction. The pipeline, he said, radiates warmth. "So when they want to go on a date [ed. that's Republican for "hit it"], they invite each other to head over to the pipeline." Washington Post

Butte, Mont.: John Hughes, 55, pleaded guilty to reckless driving and paid a fine. He had led police on a 100-mph-plus chase because, he said when stopped, "I just always wanted to do that." Montana Standard (Butte)

Bridgeport, Conn.: Norberto Millet, 60, was charged with rape of an underage girl. Oh, no, he said. She attacked him, and he desperately tried to fight her off. In fact, he said, lots of 8- to 10-yr-old girls mess with him. Connecticut Post [bonus explanatory mugshot]

Port St. Lucie, Fla.: Bad, Bad Boys: (1) He was charged with stealing $40k from the trust fund of his cerebral-palsied daughter. (2) These four (three men, one gal) were charged with intra-family credit-card theft from a blind couple in their 80s. (3) A Lakewood, Wash., cop was charged with embezzling $120k from a fund collected for four cops killed on the job. (Bonus: The defendant is Officer Skeeter Manos.) WPTV (West Palm Beach) /// Daily Gazette (Schenectady, N.Y.) /// Associated Press via WHBF (Quad Cities, Ill.)

Washington, D.C.: So far, 130 employees have been rounded up for ripping off the city government on unemployment compensation (continuing to draw checks after finding work). [ed.: This is unsettling. For years one of the Sure Things in American Life was that "the D.C. government" was oblivious of all internal fraud. Coming on the heels of Arab Spring and impending European defaults, this is change too abrupt to bear.] Washington Post

Your Weekly Jury Duty [In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:

Cambridge, Ohio: You decide--Is Jamial Bayly, 40, a conscientious family disciplinarian or guilty of domestic violence? WTTG-TV (Washington, D.C.)

From the latest Smoking Gun collections: (1) He was charged with public intoxication, but intoxication appears to have played no role in any of the several things wrong with his face. (2) There's a warrant out on him, perhaps as "hairstyle" violation. (3) He was charged with failing to pay court fines . . like they expected this guy was going to pay?

Thanks to David Henshaw and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.