News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 24, 2012
(datelines from May 21 or later) (links correct as of May 24)
Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
★ ★ ★ ★!
Enforcement will will be a bear, but Beijing's new municipal clean-restroom regulation is at least precise: Public toilets are permitted only one housefly per stall. Say, three stalls, four flies, violation! Beijing Evening News via China Daily
Brit Gary Connery wanted to survive his jump out of a plane without a parachute (2,400 feet, landing on setup of cardboard boxes). On the other hand, a suicider, in his 30s, was looking for a Fail going over Niagara's Horseshoe Falls (150 ft drop). Connery was overjoyed; the suicider was probably pissed and/or further distraught as he waded ashore (the third person to make it without safety gear). Daily Telegraph (London) /// Associated Press via Chronicle Herald (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
Challenging Career Fields: Justin Schmidt, a U. of Arizona entomologist, decided at some point to study bugs full-time and then that he could best serve science by letting insects bite him, on purpose, and then describing how much it hurt (Meh / Ow, Jeez! / Owwww, Hey! / Owwww, Motherfu--!). Hence, the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. World's Greatest Newspaper /// Schmidt Pain Index
"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
USA Today helpfully calculated the federal deficit based on real rules and not the make-believe, low-ball ones Congress uses. For 2011, it meant we owed almost 4x what Congress said ($5 trillion instead of $1.3 trillion). Congress of course doesn't think it "owes" the money because, presto!, it always has the power to change the law. (Bonus: Our Chinese creditors have bought into this reasoning. LOL!) USA Today
Cleveland: John Davis, exiting Interstate 90, handed a couple of bucks to a wheelchaired beggar, who fumbled it, then picked it up. A cop, following Davis's car, stopped him a block or two later and ticketed him for . . littering. (Well, he coulda been ticketed for feeding a panhandler too close to the Interstate . . but he wasn't.) WJW-TV (Cleveland)
Funny Old World*
The Mafia hardly appears more efficient than the rhesus monkeys of India. They work in teams to intimidate, distract, and rob passersby of food, and so many people feed them voluntarily that the shakedowns are now almost impossible to stop--at least without causing grief to devout Hindus. New York Times
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Houston: Edward Montgomery was charged with punching a police dog in the face (and perhaps will be charged with robbing an Advanced Auto Shop), but I envision a defense! KPRC-TV (Houston)
Thanks to Mike Wolcott and Tim Allen, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye; [Chuck's editor: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck: I'm not.])