(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 29, 2012
(datelines from May 24 or later) (links correct as of May 29)
Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
★ ★ ★ ★!
It's all right that y'all probably don't read National Enquirer because that's my job. It says here in the May 28th issue that ol' Jim Bakker still owes IRS $6m and is now pitching big-ticket apocalypse survival gear to his God-fearing followers, including the Silver Solution Total Body Cleanse Kit ($100), which has an enema element. National Enquirer
Naples, Fla.: Steve Carr, aiming for a surprise pop-the-questioning, buried the engagement ring in the sand on a beach vacation with girlfriend Mary Naam, but then forgot where. He hired a professional sand-digger. (Bonus: Steve is "Dr." Steve Carr, a real-life brain surgeon from Denver.) WZVN-TV (Fort Myers)
Fremont, Neb.: Mr. Mel and Ms. Joey Schwanke, married 65 yrs, attribute their "success" to the matching outfits they always wear in public (167 sets of his tie custom-matching her dress).
"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
Kentucky has become the second state (after Illinois!) to have a state high school championship in, um, bass-fishing. Yahoo Sports
According to the report by WDAY-TV in Fargo, Chad Lindley, 40, has become the first person ever arrested in North Dakota on the charge of pimping. WDAY-TV
Florida's death toll from child neglect dropped precipitously from 2009 to 2010, a sure sign that
Transportation Security Administration reports that by 2006 (five years after 9-11), it was still confiscating 500 guns a year from airline travelers. Five years after that, 2011, at least 1,200 travelers didn't get the memo. New York Times
Gothenburg, Sweden: A supposedly disabled-friendly organization, trying to make a point, began selling dolls labeled with a phrase that it says here is roughly the equivalent of "retard." "So much better than a normal retard," this doll is. Maybe the Swedes will get the point. (Bonus: Marion Barry did not get the point. Caught denouncing Asian shopkeepers in his District of Calamity ward, he sorta-apologized, pointing out that the Irish caught hell when they came here, the Jews caught hell, "the Polacks caught hell.") The Local (Stockholm) /// WTOP Radio (Washington, D.C.)
Funny Old World*
Vicar Nick Davis of Cheltenham, England, gets God's message across by breathing fire halfway through his sermons. (It's a gift.) The church is marking Pentecost, where the Holy Spirit descends on Jesus's disciples and "appearing as tongues of flame." BBC News
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Skiatook, Okla.: Do you really think Leonard White is capable of burglary at his age? Tulsa World
Note: It says here this is illegal, and you are warned (no matter how nonsensical this is). A man in Kent, Wash., learned that when noisy brat kids sit behind you in a movie, laugh at you, and throw popcorn, you cannot turn around and slap one in the mouth, knocking out a tooth. It's illegal. Go figure. Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Thanks to Gary Goldberg, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye)