Monday, June 04, 2012

News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012

Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
June 4, 2012
(datelines from May 27 or later) (links correct as of June 4)
Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd.  All rights reserved.

★ ★ ★ ★!

Norwegian Dilemma:  As NOTW has reported, Norway is home of the most inmate-friendly prison in the world and is generally the gold standard in wrist-slapping wrist-tickling.  But now they have this guy Anders Behring Breivik, who undoubtedly massacred 77 people last year.  He hasn't been "convicted" yet, but officials are already in a tizzy because the law bans solitary confinement, yet in the general prison population, Breivik may aim to add to his death toll.  Solution:  Officials are looking for volunteers to be "friends" with Breivik--to be "trained" to hang with him and play chess and stuff.  (Bonus:  This is how to torture a sociopath.  You force him to have "friends."  It's a wonder Norwegian liberals allow that.)  MSNBC   ///   NOTW [6-13-2010]

People

Albany, N.Y.:  Andrea Amanatides, 38, processing into jail to do six months on a probation violation, had her condom break and four heroin baggies and 256 Rx pills (including Oxy, Adderall, Valium, etc.) fall to the floor from its hiding place in her hoo-hah.  Awkward.   Albany Times Union

Mustang, Okla.:  CEO Ryan Tate of Tate Publishing Co., fired 25 employees on Thursday, and in a farewell meeting, rubbed their noses in it (after opening the meeting with a prayer).  "You morons that sat back and wanted to create and generate conspiracy theories [about the company] are stupid."  The Oklahoman

Westlake, Ohio:  Sue Warren apparently broke into a stranger's home, tidied it up, then left an invoice for $75.  She's done it before.  (Bonus:  She is apparently serious.  There are local ads for "Sue Warren Cleaning" service.)  WKYC-TV (Cleveland) via WALB-TV (Albany, Ga.)

Cornelia, Ga.:  WSB-TV (aided by the lady's Facebook page) profiles the photogenic Gainesville, Ga., college student, church-goer, and severe anti-gov't type Celia Savage, who is an explosives nut and now faces federal charges for her guns and her boom makers. (Bonus:  lives by the Scott Adams quote, "There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives")   World's Greatest Newspaper

"U-S-A!  U-S-A!  U-S-A!"

A paper in the journal Cognitive Neuropsychiatry reports that we've become so obsessed with reality TV shows that over on the right tail are at least five super patients with "Truman Show" Delusion--that they've been thrust into a show against their will.  BuzzFeed.com

What's Wrong with People?  Why do smart people manage money so badly, and why, even when their ignorance is proven, do they keep on?   (1) He borrowed $142,000 to go to culinary school but is shocked to find few job opportunities.  (2) We thought it was a good thing to invest in a "private equity" fund, to be locked in for 15 yrs yet guarantee to pay you big management fees every year.  (3) Gov't workers' pension fund managers are the only people in America now who think their portfolios will average 8% annual returns forever.  (But if they cut even 1 point off that, taxpayers would have to make up the difference so, Long Live the 8%!)   Yahoo Finance   ///   Wall Street Journal   ///   New York Times

Funny Old World*

Sounds Like a Joke:  With the euro zone on the verge of imploding, in large part because of Greeks don't produce nearly as much as they've spent, a Pew Global research survey of Europeans revealed that "Germans" are regarded as the hardest workers . . except by Greeks, who think "Greeks" are.  The Economist

Editor's Notes

CORRECTIONS:   (1) Desmond Hatchett [NOTW2.0, 5-22-2012] is officially "credited" with fathering only 24 children that he can't take care of--not the 30 that he can't take care of reported by local station WVLT-TV in Knoxville, Tenn.  (2) Contrary to what I wrote in the weekly News of the Weird column last week (M268, 5-27-2012), prominent "breatharian" Ellen Greve is not dead, which means (inexorably) that she has been cheating on the sun-and-air-only diet that she has promoted for years.  I must have misread a 1999 news story and confused Greve with one of her followers, who apparently did not cheat.  Knoxville News-Sentinel [link from JimRomenesko.com]   ///   Wikipedia (Jasmuheen, formerly Ellen Greve)

Thanks to Gary DaSilva, Max Noriega, Jim Bratton, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors.  (* stolen from Private Eye)