News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 24, 2012
(datelines from May 21 or later) (links correct as of May 24)
Copyright 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
★ ★ ★ ★!
Enforcement will will be a bear, but Beijing's new municipal clean-restroom regulation is at least precise: Public toilets are permitted only one housefly per stall. Say, three stalls, four flies, violation! Beijing Evening News via China Daily
Weird People
Brit Gary Connery wanted to survive his jump out of a plane without a parachute (2,400 feet, landing on setup of cardboard boxes). On the other hand, a suicider, in his 30s, was looking for a Fail going over Niagara's Horseshoe Falls (150 ft drop). Connery was overjoyed; the suicider was probably pissed and/or further distraught as he waded ashore (the third person to make it without safety gear). Daily Telegraph (London) /// Associated Press via Chronicle Herald (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
Challenging Career Fields: Justin Schmidt, a U. of Arizona entomologist, decided at some point to study bugs full-time and then that he could best serve science by letting insects bite him, on purpose, and then describing how much it hurt (Meh / Ow, Jeez! / Owwww, Hey! / Owwww, Motherfu--!). Hence, the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. World's Greatest Newspaper /// Schmidt Pain Index
"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
USA Today helpfully calculated the federal deficit based on real rules and not the make-believe, low-ball ones Congress uses. For 2011, it meant we owed almost 4x what Congress said ($5 trillion instead of $1.3 trillion). Congress of course doesn't think it "owes" the money because, presto!, it always has the power to change the law. (Bonus: Our Chinese creditors have bought into this reasoning. LOL!) USA Today
Cleveland: John Davis, exiting Interstate 90, handed a couple of bucks to a wheelchaired beggar, who fumbled it, then picked it up. A cop, following Davis's car, stopped him a block or two later and ticketed him for . . littering. (Well, he coulda been ticketed for feeding a panhandler too close to the Interstate . . but he wasn't.) WJW-TV (Cleveland)
Funny Old World*
The Mafia hardly appears more efficient than the rhesus monkeys of India. They work in teams to intimidate, distract, and rob passersby of food, and so many people feed them voluntarily that the shakedowns are now almost impossible to stop--at least without causing grief to devout Hindus. New York Times
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Houston: Edward Montgomery was charged with punching a police dog in the face (and perhaps will be charged with robbing an Advanced Auto Shop), but I envision a defense! KPRC-TV (Houston)
Thanks to Mike Wolcott and Tim Allen, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye; [Chuck's editor: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck: I'm not.])
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 23, 2012
(datelines from May 18 or later) (links correct as of May 23)
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
★ ★ ★ ★!
London: Great Art plays itself out on June 12th, when a Hayward Gallery show opens featuring 50 "invisible" works, by Warhol and others, i.e., some of the works are just, y'know, blanks with descriptions, and you're supposed to conjure up something. One was actually drawn (they say), but with invisible ink. Said a Gallery source, art is about "firing the imagination." Daily Telegraph
Weird People
Michael McShane, 55, with nearly 300 flasher-related arrests on his sheet, thought he had a solution. This last time he went carousing, he thought to wear two pairs of pants so that he'd still be unexposed if he dropped trou. However, even though he was drunk, he got 'em both down over his buttocks before he passed out. Carlisle News & Star (Carlisle, England)
"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
New York City: An indoor parking space on East 11th Street in Manhattan (12x23x15 feet high), with its own deed, will go on the market soon for $1m. New York Post
Fine Points of U.S. Law: The U.S. Court of Appeals (San Francisco) ruled that Minute Maid can continue to call one of its beverages "Pomegranate Blueberry" even though it's 99.5 percent apple and grape juice. Mmmm! The Law! San Francisco Chronicle
Perspective: What's it worth to two workers for an aviation company not to have a convenient restroom for an isolated runway job (i.e., gotta pee in a bucket)? A Portland, Ore., jury decided on Monday: $332,000. And then here we are in Zinder, Niger, where a New York Times dispatch describes how valuable it is for villagers to have kids because they can always skip school and walk the hours necessary to fill up their water cans for the family's next-day survival. The Oregonian /// New York Times
Funny Old World*
Johannesburg: Artist Brett Murray and the Goodman Gallery showed their ballz by hanging Murray's painting of President Jacob Zuma with his junk hanging out. (Update: Goodman closed for a while as they think this through.) BBC News /// 3News.co.nz [Not Safe For Work]
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Jerald Reiter, 55, arrested for DUI in Dubuque, Iowa, on Sunday night. Telltale sign alerting cops: His pals (a parrot and a zebra) were along for the ride. WQAD-TV (Moline, Ill.)
Thanks to Gerald Sacks and Cindy Hildebrand, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye; [Chuck's editor: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck: I'm not.])
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 23, 2012
(datelines from May 18 or later) (links correct as of May 23)
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
★ ★ ★ ★!
London: Great Art plays itself out on June 12th, when a Hayward Gallery show opens featuring 50 "invisible" works, by Warhol and others, i.e., some of the works are just, y'know, blanks with descriptions, and you're supposed to conjure up something. One was actually drawn (they say), but with invisible ink. Said a Gallery source, art is about "firing the imagination." Daily Telegraph
Weird People
Michael McShane, 55, with nearly 300 flasher-related arrests on his sheet, thought he had a solution. This last time he went carousing, he thought to wear two pairs of pants so that he'd still be unexposed if he dropped trou. However, even though he was drunk, he got 'em both down over his buttocks before he passed out. Carlisle News & Star (Carlisle, England)
"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
New York City: An indoor parking space on East 11th Street in Manhattan (12x23x15 feet high), with its own deed, will go on the market soon for $1m. New York Post
Fine Points of U.S. Law: The U.S. Court of Appeals (San Francisco) ruled that Minute Maid can continue to call one of its beverages "Pomegranate Blueberry" even though it's 99.5 percent apple and grape juice. Mmmm! The Law! San Francisco Chronicle
Perspective: What's it worth to two workers for an aviation company not to have a convenient restroom for an isolated runway job (i.e., gotta pee in a bucket)? A Portland, Ore., jury decided on Monday: $332,000. And then here we are in Zinder, Niger, where a New York Times dispatch describes how valuable it is for villagers to have kids because they can always skip school and walk the hours necessary to fill up their water cans for the family's next-day survival. The Oregonian /// New York Times
Funny Old World*
Johannesburg: Artist Brett Murray and the Goodman Gallery showed their ballz by hanging Murray's painting of President Jacob Zuma with his junk hanging out. (Update: Goodman closed for a while as they think this through.) BBC News /// 3News.co.nz [Not Safe For Work]
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
Jerald Reiter, 55, arrested for DUI in Dubuque, Iowa, on Sunday night. Telltale sign alerting cops: His pals (a parrot and a zebra) were along for the ride. WQAD-TV (Moline, Ill.)
Thanks to Gerald Sacks and Cindy Hildebrand, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye; [Chuck's editor: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck: I'm not.])
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 22, 2012
(datelines from May 4 or later) (links correct as of May 22)
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Editor's Note (again): Because I was away last week, the first two days of this grand, almost-daily experiment will consist of catching up with the backlog of news. Starting tomorrow, just a few cites a day.
★ ★ ★ ★!
Desmond Hatchell, 33, Knoxville, Tenn., has 30 kids that he can't support (by at least 11 women), including 9 conceived in the first several months after he last went to court asking for relief from child support. (At that time, for his 21 spawn, he had shown the judge a whopping $400 and asked how to fairly apportion it to the baby mamas.) Fortunately for Knoxville's women, babies, social service people, and taxpayers, Hatchell then went to prison on other-than-procreation charges, but the 11 or so baby mamas still want their money. Los Angeles Times /// The Smoking Gun
Weird People
Meanwhile, Over on the Left Tail (of the Bell Curve): Kenny "Boom" Smith could not decide whether he more wanted to pass counterfeit money for the real stuff . . or . . get himself on the cable show "Hardcore Pawn." When he happened into Detroit's American Jewelry and Loan, where the show is shot, he kinda got caught up. He wound up actually signing the TV show's release form. /// In Port Harcourt, Nigeria, at least three suspected robbers accidentally blew themselves up on a bus while on the way to their target. WDIV-TV (Detroit) /// Reuters via Canoe.ca (Toronto)
Arni Johnson, a member of the parliament in Iceland, happened to survive an auto accident in 2010 and came to attribute his luck to a family of elves living in a nearby boulder. He has now moved the 30-ton boulder onto property he owns in Hofoabol [Sic--I've left out the doo-hickeys over the vowels]. io9.com
In Waukegan, Ill., dad Randy Swopes, 52, will avoid jail (just gets probation) for his home medical treatment of his 14-yr-old son's Crohn's disease. The boy had a fistula. Approved medical protocol for that is not covered in this article, but the judge was certain it's different than "sewing the boy's buttocks shut with needle and thread," which is what Dad did. Chicago Sun-Times via KTLA-TV (Los Angeles)
The 9th-grade teacher at a San Benito, Tex., high school must've had an Rx malfunction, or maybe her motherboard needs rebooting. Her re-write of the Holy Bible, in a 12-minute cellphone video performance, revealed that she's Mary Magdalene incarnate and that Jesus is hot for her, takes her to parties, and keeps her up all night talking, and that flying saucers are on the way, and that we've only got until 12-21-2012 to get our stuff together. Houston Press
"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
The 24-hour news cycle relies heavily on public opinion polls, but one of the most prestigious (Pew Research Center) admits that 9 of every 10 people it calls don't even want to talk to them. Think about that the next time you find interesting "what Americans believe." Slate.com
Elisa Castillo, 56, a first-time offender, will be doing life without possibility of parole in Texas for conspiracy to move drugs, even though she looks positively bystander-ish compared to drug cartel honchos who get lesser sentences. Those guys, of course, always have an angle: shorter sentences in exchange for giving up inside information. Poor Elisa. Houston Chronicle
What Sec. of Transportation Ray LaHood called the worst-condition bridge of the 300 he's inspected so far--the I-74 bridge in Moline, Ill., is getting $10m paint job because they don't have a plan yet on how to raise the $72m they need for repairs. Quad City Times
Funny Old World*
Why? Because I Could: A British technology engineer has developed a doodad that will auto-spray perfume in the air every time you get a social-network mention. (He said he wanted to find a way to express Internet output through other than a screen.) BBC News
It's the world's longest running experiment, reports the World's Greatest Newspaper. Researchers have to believe, really believe, that "pitch" (tar) is "liquid," not "solid." If they didn't really believe that, they would have given this up, oh, 84 years ago. In this 85-yr-old, ongoing experiment, a total of eight drops of pitch have fallen. World's Greatest Newspaper
UK prosecutors and the Greater Manchester Police have apologized for letting a probable pedophile ring operate, despite complaints--because, well, all the defendants are named "Mohammed" or "Abdul" or "Hamid," etc., and they were afraid they'd look like bigots if they made arrests. (Bonus: In fact, they'd be right--if they were in Brooklyn, N.Y. Ultra-Orthodox Jewish sects seem to be protecting their home-grown sex-abusers, and next to those ultras, the Vatican looks like pedophilia vigilantes.) Daily Telegraph /// New York Times
News of the Weird 1.0
Again: Texas again finds itself needing to medicate a condemned man to get him sane enough to understand that he's about to die for a reason. However, the condemned man (more likely, though, his lawyer) might already be sane enough . . to understand that his only chance of staying alive is to refuse the medication. So Texas needs to force it on him. Slate.com
(On a sorta-related matter in Kentucky, Robert Foley has been on death row since 1993, and still has a little time before the last mile, and meanwhile his hip is killing him, and he wants replacement surgery, and Kentucky taxpayers are, like, WTF, and in any event, his lawsuit for pain and suffering will, at least, delay his judgment day even more. Associated Press via AzCentral.com (Phoenix)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
It's possible that these three gents can beat their "assault" raps because, really, why would guys like this even want to get into fights? The Smoking Gun 1 /// The Smoking Gun 2 /// The Smoking Gun 3
Editor's Notes
In case you and a pal get lost hiking and have to spend a cold night, it's apparently just an old wives' tale that you can keep warm by peeing on each other. Times Union (Albany, N.Y.)
Thanks to Steve Dunn and John Kearney, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye; [Chuck's editor.: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck: I'm not.])
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 22, 2012
(datelines from May 4 or later) (links correct as of May 22)
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Editor's Note (again): Because I was away last week, the first two days of this grand, almost-daily experiment will consist of catching up with the backlog of news. Starting tomorrow, just a few cites a day.
★ ★ ★ ★!
Desmond Hatchell, 33, Knoxville, Tenn., has 30 kids that he can't support (by at least 11 women), including 9 conceived in the first several months after he last went to court asking for relief from child support. (At that time, for his 21 spawn, he had shown the judge a whopping $400 and asked how to fairly apportion it to the baby mamas.) Fortunately for Knoxville's women, babies, social service people, and taxpayers, Hatchell then went to prison on other-than-procreation charges, but the 11 or so baby mamas still want their money. Los Angeles Times /// The Smoking Gun
Weird People
Meanwhile, Over on the Left Tail (of the Bell Curve): Kenny "Boom" Smith could not decide whether he more wanted to pass counterfeit money for the real stuff . . or . . get himself on the cable show "Hardcore Pawn." When he happened into Detroit's American Jewelry and Loan, where the show is shot, he kinda got caught up. He wound up actually signing the TV show's release form. /// In Port Harcourt, Nigeria, at least three suspected robbers accidentally blew themselves up on a bus while on the way to their target. WDIV-TV (Detroit) /// Reuters via Canoe.ca (Toronto)
Arni Johnson, a member of the parliament in Iceland, happened to survive an auto accident in 2010 and came to attribute his luck to a family of elves living in a nearby boulder. He has now moved the 30-ton boulder onto property he owns in Hofoabol [Sic--I've left out the doo-hickeys over the vowels]. io9.com
In Waukegan, Ill., dad Randy Swopes, 52, will avoid jail (just gets probation) for his home medical treatment of his 14-yr-old son's Crohn's disease. The boy had a fistula. Approved medical protocol for that is not covered in this article, but the judge was certain it's different than "sewing the boy's buttocks shut with needle and thread," which is what Dad did. Chicago Sun-Times via KTLA-TV (Los Angeles)
The 9th-grade teacher at a San Benito, Tex., high school must've had an Rx malfunction, or maybe her motherboard needs rebooting. Her re-write of the Holy Bible, in a 12-minute cellphone video performance, revealed that she's Mary Magdalene incarnate and that Jesus is hot for her, takes her to parties, and keeps her up all night talking, and that flying saucers are on the way, and that we've only got until 12-21-2012 to get our stuff together. Houston Press
"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
The 24-hour news cycle relies heavily on public opinion polls, but one of the most prestigious (Pew Research Center) admits that 9 of every 10 people it calls don't even want to talk to them. Think about that the next time you find interesting "what Americans believe." Slate.com
Elisa Castillo, 56, a first-time offender, will be doing life without possibility of parole in Texas for conspiracy to move drugs, even though she looks positively bystander-ish compared to drug cartel honchos who get lesser sentences. Those guys, of course, always have an angle: shorter sentences in exchange for giving up inside information. Poor Elisa. Houston Chronicle
What Sec. of Transportation Ray LaHood called the worst-condition bridge of the 300 he's inspected so far--the I-74 bridge in Moline, Ill., is getting $10m paint job because they don't have a plan yet on how to raise the $72m they need for repairs. Quad City Times
Funny Old World*
Why? Because I Could: A British technology engineer has developed a doodad that will auto-spray perfume in the air every time you get a social-network mention. (He said he wanted to find a way to express Internet output through other than a screen.) BBC News
It's the world's longest running experiment, reports the World's Greatest Newspaper. Researchers have to believe, really believe, that "pitch" (tar) is "liquid," not "solid." If they didn't really believe that, they would have given this up, oh, 84 years ago. In this 85-yr-old, ongoing experiment, a total of eight drops of pitch have fallen. World's Greatest Newspaper
UK prosecutors and the Greater Manchester Police have apologized for letting a probable pedophile ring operate, despite complaints--because, well, all the defendants are named "Mohammed" or "Abdul" or "Hamid," etc., and they were afraid they'd look like bigots if they made arrests. (Bonus: In fact, they'd be right--if they were in Brooklyn, N.Y. Ultra-Orthodox Jewish sects seem to be protecting their home-grown sex-abusers, and next to those ultras, the Vatican looks like pedophilia vigilantes.) Daily Telegraph /// New York Times
News of the Weird 1.0
Again: Texas again finds itself needing to medicate a condemned man to get him sane enough to understand that he's about to die for a reason. However, the condemned man (more likely, though, his lawyer) might already be sane enough . . to understand that his only chance of staying alive is to refuse the medication. So Texas needs to force it on him. Slate.com
(On a sorta-related matter in Kentucky, Robert Foley has been on death row since 1993, and still has a little time before the last mile, and meanwhile his hip is killing him, and he wants replacement surgery, and Kentucky taxpayers are, like, WTF, and in any event, his lawsuit for pain and suffering will, at least, delay his judgment day even more. Associated Press via AzCentral.com (Phoenix)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
It's possible that these three gents can beat their "assault" raps because, really, why would guys like this even want to get into fights? The Smoking Gun 1 /// The Smoking Gun 2 /// The Smoking Gun 3
Editor's Notes
In case you and a pal get lost hiking and have to spend a cold night, it's apparently just an old wives' tale that you can keep warm by peeing on each other. Times Union (Albany, N.Y.)
Thanks to Steve Dunn and John Kearney, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye; [Chuck's editor.: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck: I'm not.])
Monday, May 21, 2012
News of the Weird 2.0
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 21, 2012
(datelines from May 4 or later) (links correct as of May 21)
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Editor's Note (I): This format change, of course, represents about News of the Weird 8.0 because I've promised so much this and so much that over the years. I'm optimistic. People evolve. Business models evolve. Writers free themselves. (But eventually, "Freedom's just another word for . . ..") Fair enough.
Editor's Note (II): Because I was away last week, the first two days of this grand experiment will consist of catching up with the backlog of news. Starting Wednesday, just a few cites a day.
★ ★ ★ ★!
They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To: Donnell Battie filed a $1m lawsuit against Walmart because a kid commandeered the store's loudspeaker and made an "all black people must leave the store" prank broadcast. Battie, presumably in the affected class, said listening to that announcement drove him to a doctor's care, for "severe and disabling emotional and psychological harm" Associated Press via ABC News
Weird People
Meanwhile, over on the Left Tail (of the Bell Curve): Keithan Manuel, 18, was arrested after allegedly trying to rob the dispatcher's desk at the Wilmer, Tex., police station. /// Calvin Hill, 54, was arrested after allegedly stabbing a 41-yr-old man in a fight over which one was getting more sex. /// A woman, threatened by a man while she was walking her dog in a Seattle park, started swinging her pooper scooper, and then he grabbed one, too, and they dueled until he ran away. KRLD-TV (Dallas) /// The Smoking Gun /// KOMO-TV (Seattle) via KVAL-TV (Eugene, Ore.)
"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
A Tennessee law took effect extending "abstinence" sex education by also scorning "gateway" activity that might possibly lead to sex, like hugging and kissing. MSNBC
A CNN investigation showed that Disabled Veterans National Foundation is like the ol' Roach Motel. Money comes in (up to $2bn) but doesn't go out--except in oh-so-useful "donations" like hand sanitizers, aprons, and cough drops. CNN
Take one part "Surplus of dental school grads with loans to repay"; add "Medicaid bump-ups as several states liberalize children's dental benefits"; add "Bain Capital-like private-equity firms trying togame the system practice capitalism by putting dentists on salary to set up in schools." Voila! You get Isaac Gagnon, 4, with two unnecessary baby root canals and steel crowns, plus 10 X-rays. And many more. Bloomberg News
Funny Old World*
A prestigious private boys' school in Bonn came under investigation for its longstanding practice of administering painkillers by suppository (but only in severe cases, the director said). Der Spiegel via The Local (Berlin)
There is still some bullfighting going on in the world, but Aproz, Switzerland, is the only place where you can see cows fight. (They take it seriously; they have anti-doping rules, for instance.) Wall Street Journal
From a Chinese blog, photos of a high school cram-session classroom with everyone hooked up to IV drips of amino acids, to help with the National College Entrance Exam. Without the drips, kids would lose too much time running to the infirmary for injections. Boing Boing
Touchingly, they still remember Josef Stalin in the Ukraine--but with a monument in which his pants are down, and he's shooting a stream at the nation. RIA Novasti (Moscow) [Link has an Agence France-Presse photo of the monument]
Medical Marvel: [It's been done before, famously, but I'm not No-Longer-Weirding it until I see it with my own eyes. It just can't be true.] Ms. Bat-El Panker "accidentally" swallowed (whole) her toothbrush, and it took a gastro-intestinal specialist at Carmel Hospital in Haifa, Israel, to remove it. YNet News (Tel Aviv)
News of the Weird 1.0
Again: This time, it was a 24-yr-old man in Stockholm, N.Y., who got a buddy to shoot him (in the leg) so he could find out what it felt like. Associated Press via WSYR-TV (Syracuse)
Again: Guys with illegal drugs sometimes hide them in their personal chute. A Rockingham, Vt., traffic stop nailed Alex Boulet, whose rectum was soon inventoried of 84 rocks of crack cocaine plus 218 Oxycodone pills plus 11 grams of marijuana. The Smoking Gun
Again: A grown man (Lyle Moodie, 53) insisted that the 16-yr-old girl he sexually assaulted was actually the aggressor. ("I pulled back and said [to her], 'No, stop.'") Canoe.ca (Toronto)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
If you're thinking of running a puppy mill, public opinion is already against you, and if you look like Cheri or George Burke, you might want to consider makeovers before you face the jurors. MLive.com
Editor's Notes
Journalism 2.0: Example of how Germany's Bild plans to survive the newspaper downturn: a world map, color-coded by country according to the average size of women's breasts (though it likely overstates Germany). Business Insider
Capo Di Tutto Tack-o: When police raided this Italian mobster, they found "a temple to the Scarface school of grandiose design." (Photos include the "headache-inducing" tiny-tile-mosaic bathroom.) The Guardian (London) /// gallery
Thanks to Jay Scott, Esteban Bazan, and Perry Levin, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye; [Chuck's editor.: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck: I'm not.])
(Almost) Daily, Since May 21, 2012
Underreported News, Hand-Picked and Lightly Seasoned by Chuck Shepherd
May 21, 2012
(datelines from May 4 or later) (links correct as of May 21)
© 2012 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Editor's Note (I): This format change, of course, represents about News of the Weird 8.0 because I've promised so much this and so much that over the years. I'm optimistic. People evolve. Business models evolve. Writers free themselves. (But eventually, "Freedom's just another word for . . ..") Fair enough.
Editor's Note (II): Because I was away last week, the first two days of this grand experiment will consist of catching up with the backlog of news. Starting Wednesday, just a few cites a day.
★ ★ ★ ★!
They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To: Donnell Battie filed a $1m lawsuit against Walmart because a kid commandeered the store's loudspeaker and made an "all black people must leave the store" prank broadcast. Battie, presumably in the affected class, said listening to that announcement drove him to a doctor's care, for "severe and disabling emotional and psychological harm" Associated Press via ABC News
Weird People
Meanwhile, over on the Left Tail (of the Bell Curve): Keithan Manuel, 18, was arrested after allegedly trying to rob the dispatcher's desk at the Wilmer, Tex., police station. /// Calvin Hill, 54, was arrested after allegedly stabbing a 41-yr-old man in a fight over which one was getting more sex. /// A woman, threatened by a man while she was walking her dog in a Seattle park, started swinging her pooper scooper, and then he grabbed one, too, and they dueled until he ran away. KRLD-TV (Dallas) /// The Smoking Gun /// KOMO-TV (Seattle) via KVAL-TV (Eugene, Ore.)
"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!"
A Tennessee law took effect extending "abstinence" sex education by also scorning "gateway" activity that might possibly lead to sex, like hugging and kissing. MSNBC
A CNN investigation showed that Disabled Veterans National Foundation is like the ol' Roach Motel. Money comes in (up to $2bn) but doesn't go out--except in oh-so-useful "donations" like hand sanitizers, aprons, and cough drops. CNN
Take one part "Surplus of dental school grads with loans to repay"; add "Medicaid bump-ups as several states liberalize children's dental benefits"; add "Bain Capital-like private-equity firms trying to
Funny Old World*
A prestigious private boys' school in Bonn came under investigation for its longstanding practice of administering painkillers by suppository (but only in severe cases, the director said). Der Spiegel via The Local (Berlin)
There is still some bullfighting going on in the world, but Aproz, Switzerland, is the only place where you can see cows fight. (They take it seriously; they have anti-doping rules, for instance.) Wall Street Journal
From a Chinese blog, photos of a high school cram-session classroom with everyone hooked up to IV drips of amino acids, to help with the National College Entrance Exam. Without the drips, kids would lose too much time running to the infirmary for injections. Boing Boing
Touchingly, they still remember Josef Stalin in the Ukraine--but with a monument in which his pants are down, and he's shooting a stream at the nation. RIA Novasti (Moscow) [Link has an Agence France-Presse photo of the monument]
Medical Marvel: [It's been done before, famously, but I'm not No-Longer-Weirding it until I see it with my own eyes. It just can't be true.] Ms. Bat-El Panker "accidentally" swallowed (whole) her toothbrush, and it took a gastro-intestinal specialist at Carmel Hospital in Haifa, Israel, to remove it. YNet News (Tel Aviv)
News of the Weird 1.0
Again: This time, it was a 24-yr-old man in Stockholm, N.Y., who got a buddy to shoot him (in the leg) so he could find out what it felt like. Associated Press via WSYR-TV (Syracuse)
Again: Guys with illegal drugs sometimes hide them in their personal chute. A Rockingham, Vt., traffic stop nailed Alex Boulet, whose rectum was soon inventoried of 84 rocks of crack cocaine plus 218 Oxycodone pills plus 11 grams of marijuana. The Smoking Gun
Again: A grown man (Lyle Moodie, 53) insisted that the 16-yr-old girl he sexually assaulted was actually the aggressor. ("I pulled back and said [to her], 'No, stop.'") Canoe.ca (Toronto)
Your Daily Jury Duty
[In America, you're presumed innocent . . until the mug shot is released]:
If you're thinking of running a puppy mill, public opinion is already against you, and if you look like Cheri or George Burke, you might want to consider makeovers before you face the jurors. MLive.com
Editor's Notes
Journalism 2.0: Example of how Germany's Bild plans to survive the newspaper downturn: a world map, color-coded by country according to the average size of women's breasts (though it likely overstates Germany). Business Insider
Capo Di Tutto Tack-o: When police raided this Italian mobster, they found "a temple to the Scarface school of grandiose design." (Photos include the "headache-inducing" tiny-tile-mosaic bathroom.) The Guardian (London) /// gallery
Thanks to Jay Scott, Esteban Bazan, and Perry Levin, and the mighty NOTW Board of Editorial Advisors. (* stolen from Private Eye; [Chuck's editor.: Stolen? You're better than that.] [Chuck: I'm not.])
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